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Moaning about your looks in dating....


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Posted
Ramp up your level of thought. You're arguing micro to a macro concept.

 

The theory of evolution isn't survival of the fittest. It's survival of the adaptive which includes resilience and genetic mutations that allow the species to adapt in order to live longer, in order to mate for the greatest length of time.

 

Yes, and women are doing selective breeding on their own, picking only the guys who have strong warrior-like genes. I see it all the time. career women either cruising their 20's with good-looking men or average-looking women married to guys who don't have a job but a great body.

 

How can the average guy adapt to this? make more money? Go back to school? Nah, doesn't work like that.

Posted
Consider the concept of wallflowers. It's applicable, regardless of gender.

 

How in the world can anyone get a bead on your more positive traits if you don't socialize or open up? In social situations, people gauge by externals where body language and facial expressions comprise the lions share of communications, not language.

 

If you lock yourself against a wall with closed body language and negative or unreadable facial expressions, saying nothing, becoming one with the wall, why would a woman notice you?

 

I'm not disagreeing with you, usually when I ask questions like this I'd just like to know what you're thinking or where someone's coming from specifically, as I can see a bunch of possible ways to look at it. That might be one of my problems, instead of just taking the most obvious answers and possibilities for things..

 

I do agree with your last paragaph, and that when I personally "open up" to strangers, they tend to become pretty warm and we're both smiling by the end of our little encounter. I mean, when I talk to someone, I usually smile without thinking about it but otherwise I have a very somber neutral expression, so I've been told. I've been told I actually look very angry, which is not me at all. :laugh: Go figure.

Posted

How in the world can anyone get a bead on your more positive traits if you don't socialize or open up? In social situations, people gauge by externals where body language and facial expressions comprise the lions share of communications, not language.

 

Body language is way too overstimated. Take a good-looking woman and apply insecure body language on her. She's still attractive. Use that body language on the average guy. People will say its the body language that results in no woman interested.

 

Pick a young Robert Redford, make him stare at the ground, netural facial expressions and women wil at least stare at him. He still wins out. And he'll probably get laid.

If you lock yourself against a wall with closed body language and negative or unreadable facial expressions, saying nothing, becoming one with the wall, why would a woman notice you?

 

I don't think James Dean had any trouble picking women up prior hollywood fame.

Posted
Yes, and women are doing selective breeding on their own, picking only the guys who have strong warrior-like genes. I see it all the time. career women either cruising their 20's with good-looking men or average-looking women married to guys who don't have a job but a great body.

 

How can the average guy adapt to this? make more money? Go back to school? Nah, doesn't work like that.

Why is the human race at the pinnacle of the food chain? It's cognitive and cooperative ability. So to suggest that attraction is solely based on warrior-like genes, can't be superimposed on why humans pwn all.
Posted
that when I personally "open up" to strangers, they tend to become pretty warm and we're both smiling by the end of our little encounter. I mean, when I talk to someone, I usually smile without thinking about it but otherwise I have a very somber neutral expression, so I've been told. I've been told I actually look very angry, which is not me at all. :laugh: Go figure.
Yes, you're throwing out understandable positive social cues that you're capable of working with others! You become "friend" instead of "other" when viewed from a tribalism perspective.

 

So, add a little flirtation to your interactions and you can trigger attraction with women who already subconsciously view you as her type, since you're showing her you're interested in more than friendship.

Posted
Take a good-looking woman and apply insecure body language on her.
Take an asteroid and apply insecure body language on it. What has being a woman or asteroid have to do with being a man?
Posted

With most guys, when they bitch about their looks, they're bitching cause they cant get hot girls. We all have eyes and a brain, I don't think it takes too much to realize that women actually have it considerably harder when it comes to being judged by looks.

  • Like 2
Posted
Once again i have varied tastes in women they are not all 9's 10's by any stretch but if i find her unappelaing physically nothing will magically change that for me

 

Ok, but I'm arguing this point:

 

My point is people get the best of what they can get and learn to become somehow attracted to it not that these women lust over the average guys but they somehow have to try to find something attratcive about them if its what they can get

 

If you've experienced strong sexual attraction for someone average looking, what makes you think women don't genuinely feel strong sexual attraction for the average guys they date and marry?

Posted
It's much easier to blame society or other people for lack of success than it is to look at why they aren't succeeding and work on themselves.

Men aren't the only ones guilty of that.

Posted
With most guys, when they bitch about their looks, they're bitching cause they cant get hot girls. We all have eyes and a brain, I don't think it takes too much to realize that women actually have it considerably harder when it comes to being judged by looks.

 

You're a broken record with this and flat out wrong,plus most people are with a partner on or near the same level of attractivness as them the idea men are more visual or shallow the evidence is simply not there

 

its also irnoic coming from you who is pretty damn shallow yourself self admittedly:laugh:

Posted
With most guys, when they bitch about their looks, they're bitching cause they cant get hot girls. We all have eyes and a brain, I don't think it takes too much to realize that women actually have it considerably harder when it comes to being judged by looks.

 

No, we're bitching because we can't get women to give us the time of day in that respect...ANY women. :p

Posted
Requoted my post to ScreamingTrees, since it's the same concept.

 

Iam pretty shy and can open up once i get to know a person but i just cant be mr outgoing to strangers it just isnt in me

Posted
Iam pretty shy and can open up once i get to know a person but i just cant be mr outgoing to strangers it just isnt in me
You don't have to be a flaming extrovert to be noticed. But learning to be less shy will help. One way of doing this is to start talking to strangers that you're not attracted to, whether young, old, male, female, etc. The more practice, the more you'll realize there's nothing to be shy about. :)
  • Like 3
Posted
You're a broken record with this and flat out wrong,plus most people are with a partner on or near the same level of attractivness as them the idea men are more visual or shallow the evidence is simply not there

 

its also irnoic coming from you who is pretty damn shallow yourself self admittedly:laugh:

 

Sure I'm shallow but I do realize that a lot of women arent as shallow as me.

 

What sex is graded by numbers solely based on looks by the opposite sex? Which sex does consume almost all the cosmetic products out there? Which sex is "devalued" if age put a wrinkle or two on her face?

 

There you have your answer.

Posted
With most guys, when they bitch about their looks, they're bitching cause they cant get hot girls. We all have eyes and a brain, I don't think it takes too much to realize that women actually have it considerably harder when it comes to being judged by looks.

 

That's an easy way to disregard men's dating blight. Growing up I observed average looking guys hitting on average looking girls and getting shot down all day long. For a long time I assumed they were focused on getting educated. And man, was I right. I began going out during the night and the same women who were too busy for the average joe suddenly spent a lot of time. On the man's bathroom with guys who could pass for Achille's brother.

 

to realize that women actually have it considerably harder when it comes to being judged by looks

 

Yeah, we do, that's why when I see a woman complain that she can't get no attention I instantly think: '' Brad Pitt is kinda busy with the rest of the hundreds of women who throw themselves at him.''

Posted (edited)
What sex is graded by numbers solely based on looks by the opposite sex? Which sex does consume almost all the cosmetic products out there? Which sex is "devalued" if age put a wrinkle or two on her face?

 

There you have your answer.

This is true. I see young women(actually, most women. I see married women in their 50's dressing as if they were 20) who are already near-perfection caked in make-up and with expensive clothes. I see these women with high heels and mini-skirts during the freezing cold, at 8 am. T

 

hey're all competing for male attention from the average guys and they're competing with each other for the best looking males. Why should I feel sorry for them? Men would love to have researchers come up with ways to solve baldness and ways to increase their height and their muscle-building potential.

Edited by Hawakai
Posted

Hawakai where do you go see this. Where i am from, I see way more ugly guys with cute girls than the other way around. In fact, I almost never see a ugly girl wih a handsom man

  • Like 4
Posted
Hawakai where do you go see this.

 

la la land.....

  • Like 2
Posted
With most guys, when they bitch about their looks, they're bitching cause they cant get hot girls. We all have eyes and a brain, I don't think it takes too much to realize that women actually have it considerably harder when it comes to being judged by looks.

 

Definitely agree with this to an extent. I do think guys are more easily "fooled" with looks though...if you have the basics (long hair, not fat, wear some make up) lots of guys will think you are "hot". Like a Monet. They just see the vague big picture in my experience.

 

Anyway, I will also say that NO amount of "amazing personality" or awesome social skills is gonna make me attracted to a guy I find physically unattractive.

  • Like 2
Posted
Definitely agree with this to an extent. I do think guys are more easily "fooled" with looks though...if you have the basics (long hair, not fat, wear some make up) lots of guys will think you are "hot". Like a Monet. They just see the vague big picture in my experience.

 

Anyway, I will also say that NO amount of "amazing personality" or awesome social skills is gonna make me attracted to a guy I find physically unattractive.

 

 

 

Agreed - but the guy does not have to be that hot for me to be attracted!

 

As long as they are average and do not put me off! A guy that is not that attractive can become attractive, as long as they were not repulsive to begin with.

 

Your also right about girls! I have long blonde hair, clear skin and straight teeth, and am not totally fat - therefore I have plenty of options!

 

And I am not even that special looking! You would think I would struggle more, based on my looks alone.

 

I think long hair on a girl, not being fat, and not having skin or teeth that are too messed up will get you plenty of dates, unless your in a particularly bad area and are super unlucky.... Or are just a complete bitch where no one wants to hang around you LOL.

Posted
Watch your back....there may be a group of women that have it in for you, after admitting what you just said. I've tried to get that point across in numerous threads....but it doesnt count when it comes from a guy.

 

What in the world?

 

Attractive women have good female friends, too.

Posted
Watch your back....there may be a group of women that have it in for you, after admitting what you just said. I've tried to get that point across in numerous threads....but it doesnt count when it comes from a guy.

 

I don't understand this comment. :confused:

Posted
It's over your head. Nobody is talking about friends

 

It's not over my head. You are over-stating the problems attractive women have with other women.

Posted

I dont id like a women that looked like myself...

Posted
I'll break it down like a fraction for all of you.

 

She said she has plenty of options, because she is pleasing to look at.

 

If you go back, and dig through many of my posts....and many posts of other guys on here....you will see how when WE tried to argue that point....we as guys get told we dont know what we are talking about.

 

But now that she said it....all those women that bashed us...are going to have it in for her...since she just indirectly validated our side of the argument.

 

Class dismissed

 

.

 

So if a woman has trouble dating, you'd suggest that she get less ugly? :rolleyes:

 

Leigh has plenty of options because most young women do, regardless of how they look.

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