ilovedhim Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 Why are you waiting? He met her in person and is now FB stalking her and might see her Friday... I would talk to him ASAP.
Author aamfma3 Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 Thanks everyone once again! Yup I am going to have to have a talk with him because it is eating me up. It's crazy.I have to go every few hours and check if he is checking her Facebook out. I am paranoid! I don't know what to think of it. Yesterday he didn't go on it. But he has commented that I have been strange these days. I don't have the gutts to tell him why though! I am scared that if I tell him what I did he will just become sneakier about it. That's what I am scared of! I asked him yesterday if he had seen "this girls" post on Facebook the other day, I had visited her profile (this question flowed with the conversation) and he said he hasn't been on her Facebook. I didn't tell him that I knew he had been there because I didn't want to blow my cover. HELP! What if he just gets sneakier? I HATE FACEBOOK!
Author aamfma3 Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 OP - even though I think it was wrong of you to snoop - and, are you just generally insecure, or what prompted that? Thank you for the insight! Latley I have become a bit insecure. My job situation isn't helping much with my self-esteem. But in the past few months I have come to know a few lies he has told. For example: When we first started dating he went to a strip club with his friends and I only found out now. Even though he was the one that came clean about it, it bugs me that he lied to me. I have become very insecure. And that's why I snooped.
NessyNessy Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Hey there I've read your problems and I really feel for you. It's hard when something wobbles your stability in your relationship and I just wanted to add something that I don't think anyone had mentioned in light of a problem I'm having myself where I think I've pretty much scared my fiance into telling me everything but the truth that I really want. I think I approached my fiance in too much of an upset and emotional state where what I wanted was to hear exactly what would make me better. Could you not ask that the two of you go out together tonight instead of him going out with his friends? I know it would be tough to deal with if he seems keen to go out with his friends, but if he agreed to give it a miss and if you explained that you needed to talk and he came, then it would help show you that he isn't desperately counting down the days to seeing her and would stop you having a horrible night worrying about him and her and then potentially throwing emotional questions at him when he gets back and getting the wrong answers. In the meantime you need to think of the best approach to get him to be honest. Is this a deal breaker for you? If he admits to being attracted and interested in her enough to keep looking at her facebook (I know that must not be nice to read, sorry) then how will that affect your future plans with him? You need to consider that he will still need to see his friends and even if he deletes fbook, he will still have contact with her. You need to be honest (don't beat yourself up with the fbook peeking, I've done the same with emails and ended up in a mess) and explain that you are feeling insecure and need to understand why he's been doing what he has. If you're not his perfect girl anymore (ouch again, sorry), then you're somebody else's and it would make you both happier in the long run not to be together. There isn't a right or wrong answer as to whether or not it's right for your other half to have that kind of a crush on another person, I have friends who are constantly talking about who they fancy to each other, whereas I'm not secure enough for that, and I'm not sure from your post that you are at the moment. Something to think about. Good luck
Author aamfma3 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 Thanks everyone! Heres an update: I asked him yesterday on the phone why he was going through her Facebook. We argued. Hung up on my face. This was 9pm I called him at 11pm and he didn't pick up. I sent him a message if he wanted to talk. He didn't answer. He called me back at 2am. Saying he was sorry. I asked him why he didn't pick up or send me a message. He told me he was with his friends and new we were going to argue. He called me this morning again. And apologized. I think we have a lot to talk about. Thanks everyone!
Author aamfma3 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 I've read your problems and I really feel for you. It's hard when something wobbles your stability in your relationship and I just wanted to add something that I don't think anyone had mentioned in light of a problem I'm having myself where I think I've pretty much scared my fiance into telling me everything but the truth that I really want. I think I approached my fiance in too much of an upset and emotional state where what I wanted was to hear exactly what would make me better. Thank you very much! I have to admit that I have also been working on this too Best of luck to you and your fiance
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