startinganew777 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 I have been dating this great guy for a month. We met off Match.com and have really hit it off. He has been very sweet and attentive and we have been on several dates and talk everyday. He has told his family about me he said and also has told me his sister keeps begging to meet me. He has a 4 year old son so we have been kinda taking it slow. He seems really into me and hardly ever signs onto Match anymore. We haven't had the talk or anything but it doesn't seem like he is talking to anyone else. And yes, we have slept together. On date 4. Anyways, I have a work holiday party coming up on Dec. 1st. I would be the only single one there and was wondering if it would be too soon to ask him along as my date. We are going out to dinner tomorrow night and I told him I have something to ask him and to remind me. Now I am thinking that was maybe a bad idea. I think he would be flattered BUT don't want to push things too much or scare him off either. Any help or suggestions? Thanks!
DC4 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 I think it's perfectly fine! He definitely seems to dig you so go for it. You're clearly dating at this point. 1
DC4 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 She's not asking him to marry her. It's a damn party. 1
Author startinganew777 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 Actually I AM really into him. Haven't had a guy treat me this good in a long time and I see potential for sure. I would want him there because I am proud to show him off and excited about what may come of this relationship. There is one more single guy going to the party, we are friends and have hung out and has asked me to be his "date", as a friend, but I would rather bring the guy I am dating. There are probably 50 other people going to be there and they are all married. The guy at work and I are the only unmarried employees but I don't want him to get the wrong idea either. I would rather spend that evening with the guy I am dating.
Author startinganew777 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) Yeah, I realized after that was probably a bad idea. I texted him that and put a smiley face after so he didn't think I wanted to have some deep relationship conversation or anything. They needed a head count for the party at work soon and I didn't even think about it and texted him. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now but have a good time tomorrow with him and hope it didn't annoy him. I just got excited about asking him. LOL Edited November 14, 2012 by startinganew777
DC4 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 Just my opinion, but as a guy..I find that extremely annoying when a woman says she wants to ask/tell me something....but I have to wait another day or so. I get really annoyed when anyone does that.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 Women always tend to move really fast in this direction when they see "potential" in a guy. Just realize what you are already trying to do, you're trying to infuse him in your life as something serious (not that this is a mystery) and If you take him to this event with co-workers and the like you're already setting yourself up to by principal to "give us a chance" regardless of what you find out in the future, you're basically putting the cart in front of the horse. Some people are very casual about this, personally I wouldn't take someone to a work function unless I was in fact actually serious/relationship about them, not just having dated them for one month but that's just me personally. I just don't believe you should be essentially bringing about a stranger (yes yes I know, it seems like you've known him forever, you get along so well yadda yadda yadda) to something that is close and personal to your life like where you work. But like I said...some people see it as "no big deal" and why go alone and all of that. I definitely think it's too soon, but you wouldn't be the first or the last. I've seen women do it on a regular basis however...one guy for this event, another guy for that, a new one for that one. So it's your call (obviously you're going to do what you want), but I think you should be much more concerned about the state of the "relationship" or whether it is one or not, and whether it will be, and meeting the family and all of that at some point. I wouldn't just go based off what he says, guys can say anything they want to it's not really a big deal. I see no purpose in rushing it, but if he's on the fast track and so are you, then thelma and louise that sh!.t, you'll be together forever anyway right? ::swoooon::
DC4 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 My male friends do that as much as my female friends. It has no gender lines.
Author startinganew777 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) I understand what you are saying Ninjainpajamas. I really like him but don't want to rush things but after I sent that text, I was like, Oppps, I screwed up now and acted before I thought about it. I know I screwed up but trying to figure out what to do now. He is going to ask what I was talking about tomorrow obviously and I don't know what to say. I would like him there BUT I don't want to rush things and scare him. We both are divorced and new to dating so I am just not sure what to do in this situation. He has already mentioned having me over to his family's Christmas Eve party saying it is a blast and I will really like his family so I figured he was seeing potential in this also. And I HATE thinking about having the talk about exclusitivity. I worry that the talk could scare him and things are going smoothly now and I don't want to screw things up. I am just trying to go with the flow this time. Edited November 14, 2012 by startinganew777
Under The Radar Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 I would ask him to go to the party. From what you have posted he seems to really like you. I think the only problem might be if he has his kid that night with no babysitter. I don't think it's too soon if you guys have a great connection thus far. It's too soon for "The Talk", but not for a holiday party.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 I understand what you are saying Ninjainpajamas. I really like him but don't want to rush things but after I sent that text, I was like, Oppps, I screwed up now and acted before I thought about it. I know I screwed up but trying to figure out what to do now. He is going to ask what I was talking about tomorrow obviously and I don't know what to say. I would like him there BUT I don't want to rush things and scare him. We both are divorced and new to dating so I am just not sure what to do in this situation. He has already mentioned having me over to his family's Christmas Eve party saying it is a blast and I will really like his family so I figured he was seeing potential in this also. And I HATE thinking about having the talk about exclusitivity. I worry that the talk could scare him and things are going smoothly now and I don't want to screw things up. I am just trying to go with the flow this time. You're not going to scare a guy way who is on the same page. If you did that in the past it was because he ultimately wasn't interested in long-term with you or you came off too sincere and clingy like right away, which is way overkill, now that you know better you're probably regulating yourself a bit better now. This guy is showing strong interest on paper, but you've got to worry about the guys who dive in and move fast, trap you in a whirlwind then abandon ship because they "aren't ready for a relationship and I got hurt last time" or some BS like that, so thsoe are the kinds of things you need to find out, otherwise you're just taking a chance which is stupid, you need to know what is what and what is going on if you are sharing your emotions and being intimate with someone, why are you giving men a free pass to these things just so you don't scare them away or do the wrong thing? doesn't that sound ridiculous, are you just here to accommodate a man and jump when he says jump? Find out more emotoinally what is going on, have deeper more significant conversations than just enjoying the experience, unless that's worth it to you. He might say this or that but realize if he's on a rebound emotional state and he's just reacting because of all these repressed emotions then you are just simply an outlet and that may be you too, although you sound like you been down that road already if im being honest. Take it slow, step by step, and be aware of whats going on every step of the way....I hate the term "seeing where it goes" and "going with the flow" with a passion because it's completely submissive and if you are submissive then you blind yourself to the knowledge you would otherwise receive by asking the tough questions and respecting yourself, so you bring it on to yourself what happens...just because you take no action doesn't mean you did nothing wrong.
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