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Possible reconciliation,I am happy .

Sasu

By Sasu
in Second Chances

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Sasu Established Member

Sasu

Posted
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So my ex i been going on NC for a week now .I thought she just making excuses to break off.But She just invited me out of nowhere to chat today.I chatted innocently .She asked about all about stuff me and told me how messed up her life is becoming .She said she wanted to talk to me for days but is messed up with work.She was talking to me like Im her bf and said me to "be with me " when i sounded fishy\carefree to her ( yea i pretended xD) .I am not sure in what sense tho..

 

She broke off with me like 5th time i guess 2 weeks ago ..This time reason was her studies and how hard her life is becoming so she can't have a relationship with anyone..

I am not sure where this will head to,another heartbreak for me or things back to normal ..

 

I just know that 15 mins of that chat made me forget about every frigging thing I was depressed over regarding her..She said she'll call me later on .So I am feeling how to say alive and with hope again..Glad that she is still same .

Sorry to ramble ^^" I am such a kid at times ..

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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Why do you keep going back to someone who keeps dumping you?

 

Yes she will do it again.

Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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Junkie with a fix is always happy. The high wears off, the need comes on full force, the monkey is on his back.

 

Notice a pattern?

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Sasu Established Member

Sasu

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I know she will ..But its not really like dumping.She is just odd person,with many real life issues along with personality disorders ..I just can't dump and leave her alone like her exes before .

 

So you know what it is like to be with ones like that ...Broke 5th time..still i am only person after whom she runs back..the history is enough to keep me tied down . Just gotta be stronger ..

salem mark Established Member

salem mark

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Im with dr seauss on this one, what do you neeed a slap in the face to wake up!!!

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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I know she will ..But its not really like dumping.She is just odd person,with many real life issues along with personality disorders ..I just can't dump and leave her alone like her exes before .

 

So you know what it is like to be with ones like that ...Broke 5th time..still i am only person after whom she runs back..the history is enough to keep me tied down . Just gotta be stronger ..

 

She'll dump you whenever she sees fit. Leaving you like you are now. Depressed, miserable.

 

It really doesn't matter what her issues are, or if her life is falling apart. That's not for you to fix, you're not her savior. She needs to fix herself, and until she does she's going to drag you down with her.

 

This isn't a healthy loving relationship, it's pain and hurt and dysfunction and for the life of me I can't see how you're so happy and giddy to be with this, you're now one step closer to being dumped for the SIXTH time.

 

We'll all be waiting for you when you return. The exes before you had enough sense to get out, and stay out. You'd better take notes.

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Sasu Established Member

Sasu

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I understand ... Everything makes sense for most part. But when i see it so far,I know the reasons I got dumped before & i am working out for them ( Its still my first relationship ,so yeah )..One thing for sure,I have grown back my spine & am not a doormat anymore.she realizes it well this time ..

 

Its just I can't turn my back on someone and leave for sake of my happiness..Its little bit selfish & that way i can never be happy .I just feel to be strong to endure it as she love me alone and doesn't want me to leave ..

 

As for dragging with her part.I know,But I can drag her back up as well...it goes both ways ^^ .I am going with positive stuff so far unless I really have to leave because of something real bad in future.

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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Sounds miserable.

 

What help is she getting for her "personality disorders"?

 

Why do you want to get back into this when she will just keep doing this--dumping you and then getting back together?

 

Maybe her exes left her for a REASON? Are you obligated to someone just because they have "personality disorders"? Personally I avoid those people as they just suck the life out of you.

mano Established Member

mano

Posted
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going through the same situation man, m ex keeps doing this too whenever he has some extra pressure from studies or family , he gets all detached n does the same, i too couldn't let go cause i always tried to understand his situation n felt guilty about leaving him for my happiness. but it hurts a hell lot, getting all involved n then dealing with that sudden parting.

 

Such a relationship is just too toxic n unhealthy , u would always be scared of getting dumped, i would say just leave her alone for a while so she gets to see how life is without you n realizes your worth, maybe she won't just keep doing it over n over again.

if she has done it 5 times already, no doubt she gonna do it again.

jjc82 Member

jjc82

Posted
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sasu, I'm in the same place you are, just a different situation.

 

I know it's difficult to see. The end of my first relationship took a toll on me for about a year - about 6 months of not being able to function and 6 more of missing and wanting her back.

 

No one doubts your love for her. First love is very strong and very deep. There are aspects you will never get over. 10 years removed I still dream of my first love.

 

But contemplate what others on this thread are saying. From an outsider's perspective, this does not sound like a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is when two whole people come together. Even then, they don't always last.

 

She may seem like THE ONE, but you honestly won't know until you get out and meet other people.

 

If she can pull herself together and is THE ONE, you can always meet her again in the future.

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Sasu Established Member

Sasu

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When she breaks off.Its not she leaves me for anyone else,never will i am sure of.Just say she have too much in her hands to be in relationship now..

 

I have no problem meeting anyone else.I am good looking guy and can date just fine from my college only.Last night I talked to her on phone and she told me how much she love me and will never let me go as Im one for her and can handle her.She already feels guilty of what she does (so she does have conscience ) but sometimes just can't help it.

 

Besides I am just 20 ^^" and its just LDR with hint of LTR .I have to just focus on my life and studies most at the moment.She wants same for her .So I doesn't focus much on being in relationship now,rather focus on building my career and stuff.

I love her genuinely but again doesn't want my life with any regrets ..and the feeling i will get by abondaning someone who loved me as well..will make me suffer much more mentally than now ( I have tried )...If in future she wanna leave me someday for good ..I feel I will be fine and will be happy for her.

 

How can i feel so carefree at times and ignore the toxicity of stuff ? I changed my mindset,I am little bit egocentric now and it will be her loss for what she does..I gotta stay strong always as I know the man I want to be in my life.If she wanna tag along or not,it will be upto her..I set my priorities to other things now,just like her if it what it takes to carry out the relation..

 

thanks for advice everyone x3 .I needed outsider view to analyse situation better .

Edited by Sasu
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