NiceGuyDTW Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 Although I haven't dated a lot. One thing I have found to be a solid and robust way of dealing with any relationship (friend, family, romantic, etc.). Put into only as much as you receive. Now initially you might give a little more to get things going, but once your in the "steady state"...do no more than you are getting back. I and others I know, have been disappointed when they don't receive back all the "extras" they have done. I think a lot of the posts here have this underlying theme....I keep on seeing phrases like "Why doesn't he say this...", "Why isn't she responding to my texts...", "Why does he not hold me...". I think everyone needs to realize everyone is different, and that if you don't want to get burned. Slow down. Evaluate the state of your relationship, and proceed as much as you get in return. 1
DC4 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 The key is really not to care. The more you care, the more you do things outside of your natural state. Your fears and insecurities, drive your actions and not your logical self. By that definition, you become a puppet on the strings of your negative emotions, like fear. Free your self from the strings of fear and see how life can truly awesome be. I don't agree with this at all. I agree with the OP-just don't throw yourself headlong into a dating situation. An overall "don't care" doesn't sound emotionally healthy at all. I do agree with not letting fear rule your life and emotions. Be in the moment, don't worry about what's happening five steps ahead of where you are.
Author NiceGuyDTW Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 The key is really not to care. The more you care, the more you do things outside of your natural state. Your fears and insecurities, drive your actions and not your logical self. By that definition, you become a puppet on the strings of your negative emotions, like fear. Free your self from the strings of fear and see how life can truly awesome be. I agree for the most part. My suggestion is to remove the emotion and non-logical thinking that infest people in relationships. So if you make an honest evaluation of what you are getting in return in a relationship, you can objectively determine if you're a puppet or not.
DC4 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 That is pretty reckless way to look on things, I would never tell my kids, if I had one, that at all. Specially if it was a girl. I think we're having a misunderstanding. I am talking about relationships and fear. If you're already worrying about what happens after 10 dates and you've had two, that's going to create a lot of fear and anxiety. What did you think I meant?
DC4 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 Boyfriend I seriously have no idea what you're on about. Maybe it's your cologne or something but this is not how women act on average AT ALL.
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