cece_2_fine Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 I lost my virginity when I was just twelve years old. I hung around alot of people older than me and just caught on to things and grew up much faster than I should have. I don't consider myself a bad teenager because I don't smoke, I don't drink, I do what I am asked to do and I'm respectful to my elders and those under me. I go to school and I'm doing everything I need to do to make it. My mother has always told everyone what a good daughter I am and she always applauded me and she felt that I could do no wrong. Whenever the subject of sex came up I would always turn it into a big joke and when she would ask me if I were having sex I would say, "Duh, who isn't doing it?" She took that as "no". I could never find it in my heart to say no because I'd be lying and definitely couldn't say yes because that would've been the end of my days so I'd just play around and besides I'm a real goofy/playful person so she wasn't at all surprised. She would tell people that sex was out of my character and most people who sees me would agree. I feel that my mother is a very denile parent. Sex is not out of my character so maybe she just doesn't know me like she thinks she does. Anyways about two months ago she found out that I'd had sex because my step-dad over heard me talking to my brother about it and he made me tell her. But when I told her I lied and told her that it was my first time doing it. I didn't tell her that I'd been doing since I was twelve. Well these last two months have been the worst and I haven't been able to go any where or do anything because she thinks I want to f*ck everybody. I'm not a hoe and I don't **** every dick I see. When were out and I'm looking at a guy or say that he's cute she'll make smart remarks like, "Do you wanna sleep with him too?" In the 5 years that I've been having sex I've only had two sexual partners ,who were my boyfriends, and I've always used protection and I've never gotten pregnant and I've gotten tested and I don't have anything. I really think she's over reacting and I think that all parents should just except that fact that your child is going to do it whether you want them to or not and if their not doing it, it's not because you don't want them to it's because they don't want to. Their going to do what they want to do and if you hold them back they will rebel and your better off telling them the choices they have and what will happen if they make that decision and then allow them to make it. I'm sad to say this but ever since she's been holding me hostage in this house I've still been having sex so she should just buy some birth control and call it a day because that's just how it is. What do you all think?[font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color]
Pocky Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Well in some regards I'd have to agree but also disagree with you. I do agree that parents should be more open about sex with their children. It is inevitable that children will start experimenting and I personally think that the more information a parent gives their child about sex the more prepared they are for sex. My only concern is your comment about getting you birth control because you're just going to keep having sex anyway. Condoms aren't just for pregnancy and you should really take on a more positive outlook regarding condoms. It would be awful for you to get an STD at such a young age and when you're dealing with partners that are probably experimenting on their own and you need to ensure your own safety and not depend on them to make sure you're safe. Just keep using condoms.
morrigan Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 I've had a couple of friends who had sex when they were 12---looking back, they did regret getting sexually active that early. Everybody can learn from their mistakes, thougn. Your mom undoubtedly will let up on the house arrest at some point. She was in denial, now she is greatly concerned about your sexual health and your physcial safety. She loves you--sometimes love gets in the way of common sense. You may feel grown up, but at sixteen you're still pretty young, and no matter how old you ever are, you'll still be her daughter. She's always going to worry about you. But it's also up to you to take responsibility. Ask your mom to go with you to a Planned Parenthood and discuss getting a birth control prescription for you. Be sensible and use condoms every time you have sex, even when you are on birth control. None of us here can tell you to be 100% honest about your sexual experience with your mom, but at the least be honest that you've had sex, and you want to be fully prepared any and every time you do have sex, so you don't become pregnant or get infected with an STD. She might not like her daughter being sexually active, but eventually I think your mom will be glad if you handle sex in a responsible way.
honey2005 Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Well in some regards I'd have to agree but also disagree with you. I do agree that parents should be more open about sex with their children. It is inevitable that children will start experimenting and I personally think that the more information a parent gives their child about sex the more prepared they are for sex. I completely agree, but I have to admitt, if it was me who found out that my daugther was having sex, I would probably act just as she did. I think 16 is way to young of an age to be having sex, and when I have children I will do my best to teach them that they should wait until they are older. If they decide to experiment with sex anyway, I will just have to make sure they are doing it in a responsible way.
Tatiana82 Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 I can see both sides here. I think your mom needs to take a more responsible approach to this and you both need to sit down and have a heartfelt talk so you both can let your feelings on this issue out and work together on finding a solution. Even though this will probably not be what you want to hear, honey2005 is absolutely right that 16 is too young to be having sex. I'm 21 years old and I'm still a virgin and that's probably been one of the best choices I made growing up. At 16, it may seem like you have a good grip on the world, but trust me you still have a lot to learn. In the long run, your parents do love you and are just doing what they think is best for you. Whatever is going on at home for you right now isn't permanent, if it's really bothering you I think you should just talk to your parents about it openly and honeslty. Going about it with the attitude of "well I'll just do it anyway" could very well get you into some trouble someday.
Spinzel Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 I personally feel that 16, and especially 12, is way too young of an age to be having sex at. Protection CAN fail. And no matter how mature you think you are (and every 16 year old thinks he or she is exceptionally mature), the simple fact is that you aren't emotionally ready. You have the rest of your life ahead of you to have sex. Right now you should be developing yourself and your identity. Of course, I think your mother's behavior is more likely to push you even more into having sex. I didn't have sex until I was 18 and a legal adult, with my boyfriend of two years by that point, and before I did it I told my mom I would be, and used two different types of protection, and even then I was concerned. The bottom line is that if you aren't ready to handle the responsibility that comes along with having sex, you shouldn't be doing it.
mørkt selvmord Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 get a vibrator or something and tell you mum its either this or the real thing or w/e. that way she knows that you arent having sex. oh and btw how the F*CK did u have sex when u were 12? my friend lost hers at 11... thats really bad if u ask me =\
littleflowerpot Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 kids are having sex a whole lot younger than we did when we were teenagers. that's scary as hell when you consider that people who are SUPPOSED to be mature adults still get in trouble with unwanted pregnancies, STD's and even the death sentence of AIDS. but i also know that sometimes no matter what we try to teach our kids, sometimes they're just gonna do what they want. that's why we have to try to teach them our values but also be realistic and be prepared to help them to protect themselves. i have a daughter. i'm afraid. i'm VERY afraid.
mørkt selvmord Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 dont be afraid.. just keep having talks with her about it and only let her have guys over when your home and only in her room with the door wide open those are my rules >.< my girl is gonna be a nun.. no boys for her >.< lol
shortbus74 Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 gotta agree with Kevin.............. way too young to have sex...........
dyermaker Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 : I think Kevin was talking about the nun-to-be. "Jasmine" is a good name.
onehotmamafromMI Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 And I thought I was too young at 15 to lose my virginity but 12 is crazy. I bet you can't even tell me what you were thinking!! I had only 2 partners in 2 years and I got pregnant at 17. now at 25 I have a 7 year old daughter that I am raising alone. Let me tall you what sex this young can do to you: STD"S some can make you sterile others can kill you, reputation, even if you have only been with one partner you can and will be labeled as a whore for having sex so young, pregnant, do you really want to be a single teenage mom? trust me they don't stick around (or rarely do), your life, I lost some of the most precious years of my life ie: spring break senior year, college days in the dorm, turning 21 and celebrating at the bar with friends, what friends, your body gets shot to hell, would you like me to go on cause I will Just let me know. Please listen to me Stop or at least wait until you know you are willing and able to deal with a child or death just think about it, PLEASE. IT'S HARD, VERY HARD
mørkt selvmord Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 well i think you shouldnt have sex until your married. that way once again you wont have to deal with being a parent at a young age. or being labled a whore or whatever. if your friends are great and will stick by you no matter what, then you may have an advantage, but if they dont, well, your in deep **** m'lady.
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