Why can't I get her out of my head ?

[Indy C]

Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago after being together for 4 years. Reason why we broke up is because I found out she was leaving me for my best friend.

Before this happened though we were having issues, but after one very emotional night of tears and promises to change I thought we were getting back on track. I made a very strong effort to work on everything she brought to my attention and a month down the road she admitted to seeing a huge change, but she hadn't changed at all. She still gave me the cold shoulder every time i would try and give her a hug or kiss her on the cheek when i got home from work. It wasn't long after that first month she started flirting with my best friend more than me. She would invite him on dates that I had planned for just me and her, and it got to the point where i felt like a third wheel on our date. To this day I'm still not sure if they had something going on behind my back when we were together but I do know it didn't take long after we broke up for them to start hanging out non stop.

When we did break up I moved out and moved back in with my parents, and after a few nights of crying and heavy drinking I felt like the initial shock had worn off. After the first month i felt like i was completly over it. Up until last month the feelings came flooding back and they are only getting worse. I cant sleep at night, I feel sick when I think about it, and sometimes when I do sleep I see them together in my dreams and it kills my mood for the following day. I recently had complete confirmation that they are together when i took a look at her Facebook and her new profile picture is them sharing a kiss in eachother's arms. since then I've blocked both of them, but i still can't get the image out of my head.

We were both each others first real relationships and im really not entirely sure how to handle it any help or advice would be greatly appreciated

Edited November 14, 2012 by Indy C

[mammasita]

Erase her from your life.

 

I realize 4 years is a very long time to invest in another person, but she clearly didn't give a damn and checked out of the relationship way before the actual break up.

 

You deserve better. Take care of yourself, join a club, play sports, hang out with friends.

[spaniard]

Oh, man. This is very, very harsh. I just tried to imagine what I would have done if my ex gf and my best friend... boy, this is unbelievable. It is a very strong picture, I'm not surprised you have hard time erasing it from your mind.

 

(Off the record: is it just me or is it really true that dudes usually leave their girlfriends for other girls completely unrelated to their ex's, but girls usually leave their boyfriends for the guy's friends?)

 

I really can't give any advice on this. What you can do is to separate your life from them as if they never existed. Join a sport club, hit the gym. I know these are the usual answers, but they do help a lot. Sport is the best thing a recently dumped person can do to survive the darkest hours.

Edited November 14, 2012 by spaniard

[Indy C]

Thanks I appreciate that, and thats good advice I think i'll do just that.