complicated living situation with my ex who wants to be with me, and I with her

[fremonde]

So.. I live with my Ex at her grandmas house. We have not been "in a relationship" but being friendly, going on dates, and being intimate.

 

We both want to be back together, but she got the classic grass is greener problem and went on dates with another guy. She has stopped that now, and is trying to rekindle feelings for me.

 

We were both going to move apart into different apartments to try to start really dating again and doing it right, that was her idea since i wanted to just get a place together.

 

Now that i have my place lined up and am packing she wants to move with me, but says she might move out after a month or two if we need the space.

 

I stood fast and told her no, this is my place i will invite you over too, but its mine, you can stay at grandmas, or get your own place. I told her you cannot move in with me until we both feel love 100% and really really want to be together again, and not just meh about it.

 

Did I do the right thing for the long term relationship by having us move into different places, or having her wait until things are better, or did I miss my chance to fix things by having her move with me?

[Tiera D]

Read the Grass is Greener Syndrome by Homebrew ,search the thread should shed some light on your situation,its a very good thing you stand your ground and not cave in,but there is one thing,since your not official,shes not really your ex,and your case does not really apply under couple GiGs..either way continue hold your ground be nice,but not a wimp..

 

TD

[ilou]

This may happen so get ready. She'll text you a lot about "missing you" and "loving you", being "sorry" and "my fault" A LOT. All this while she's seeing another guy.

 

Make sure you notice the difference between being honest and being stung along.

[fremonde]

I move out tomorrow, the last 2 days she has been flipping out about how if i love her i would take her with, im abandoning her, and that i hate her, and telling me if she cant live with me, live isnt worth living. All i want is for her to spend a month or 2 taking care of herself to grow up a bit, and then see where we stand, this is getting really hard.

 

I want it to work out for us long term, i feel like having her move in with me right now means that it wouldnt. that she needs some time to figure out who she is and such.

[ilou]

So how'd it go?

[fremonde]

Well, I ended up moving, and she was waiting for me when I brought the truck to my new apartment and she helped me move in. Its been odd sometimes for me. She really loves me, and really wants to move on and be together, and is actually being great through this transition period. Like she has finally grown up about everything and is serious about life/work/ and our relationship now. I still worry about how she will be in the long term, if her thoughts will stray again. She says no. Right now im doing very well, myself and with her, I do worry about several years down the road and such though.