pbjbear Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 (edited) What facts that you come up with? and what is he ignoring? He is ignoring all other evolutionary evidence about women's nature and dismissing it even though it is valid just like men are wired the way he says they are. He is saying women arent wired to be golddiggers. They are. Just as much evidence out there to support this as there is evidence to support men are wired to not prefer sluts. But men focus on the evolutionary tendencies that benefit them and discredit the ones that benefit women. Humans are wired to be racist too. Being fearful of people that dont look like you led to better human survival. Probably because throughout the majority of human existence, interaction with groups of people of a different race led to death. Who cares? People get over this...people are not racist. People also think women MUST get over their golddigger tendencies...he said this. He said "evolution has nothing to do with who pays the bill" Uhhhh yes it does! Yet men tell me to accept a sex double standard. Times have changed and have caused people to adapt and get over racism, and in the US are getting over prefering income in men because we work. Men dont need to be fearful of sluts anymore and women being more experience will not cause the human race to disappear. Yet this is ignored...men are still encouraged to NOT adapt and bash women for doing so. Its selfish behavior. Not that it matters. I believe this guy when he says he is not a man whore. But My point is very few men use this evolution as a rational argument. Like people who quote certain bible sayings and ignore the majority of the rest, they pick out certain parts of evolution and ignore the rest and discredit it (even when it is validated by scientific evidence the same way evidence supports their wiring) because it doesnt suit them. Edited November 29, 2012 by pbjbear
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Honestly, the more I think about it the more I don't want to know anything about any woman I'd ever date (should that ever happen which it won't) aside from disease/health history. I don't want to know if you've been married before, I don't want to know if you have kids (unless they live with you), I don't want to know if you've cheated with every person you've ever dated. To me none of it is anything I want to know or need to know. And in exchange, I will get to hide my (non-existent) past.
SmileFace Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Honestly, the more I think about it the more I don't want to know anything about any woman I'd ever date (should that ever happen which it won't) aside from disease/health history. I don't want to know if you've been married before, I don't want to know if you have kids (unless they live with you), I don't want to know if you've cheated with every person you've ever dated. To me none of it is anything I want to know or need to know. And in exchange, I will get to hide my (non-existent) past. Haha @ bolded. Anywho ... you are like one of the only guys on this forum that I wish it will just work out for. I really do wish you get some confidence and stop being so self-loathing. It is so draining. I just want it to work out - so you can prove your own self wrong. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Haha @ bolded. Anywho ... you are like one of the only guys on this forum that I wish it will just work out for. I really do wish you get some confidence and stop being so self-loathing. It is so draining. I just want it to work out - so you can prove your own self wrong. Well, I appreciate the well wishes, even if it's just about me proving me wrong. But anyway, I think my lack of confidence is just an appropriate response to being a kissless 25 year old who has sent any woman he's ever expressed interest in running for the hills. That's a lot to get over, and I suspect it will one day require therapy (whenever I get the money for such a thing, and despite my opposition to it). But, this thread really isn't about me...
SmileFace Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Well, I appreciate the well wishes, even if it's just about me proving me wrong. But anyway, I think my lack of confidence is just an appropriate response to being a kissless 25 year old who has sent any woman he's ever expressed interest in running for the hills. That's a lot to get over, and I suspect it will one day require therapy (whenever I get the money for such a thing, and despite my opposition to it). But, this thread really isn't about me... Yeah .... I know, I know. Didn't mean to go off topic or anything. Just wish it works out one day.
MrCastle Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Several things in play here. When I was a young lad, a young pup, maybe 15 or 16; I wanted every girl I went after to be a virgin. Not that bad because there are quite a few number of 16 year old virgins. However, through time, I realized 1.) expecting a virgin in my 20s and 30s is super unrealistic and 2.) I now enjoy women who have some sexual experience under their belt. That's one side. The other side is like Kaylan said, if I know a girl has slept with someone I deem a loser, the whole thing is off. I can't find a way to talk myself out of it. If she's slept with someone I don't like, or someone I feel is just lame overall, I can't follow through. I also can't sleep with someone who has had a significantly large number of partners. I just can't do it. I'm not shunning them or hating them, our lifestyles are just too different. I've never sat with someone and told them why I feel drugs are bad and they shouldn't do them. Who am I? And besides, people don't want to be lectured. They are free to live their life, and I the same. So if a woman wants to sleep with 30 guys by the time she's 23, she's perfectly in her right to do that. She won't be getting a date from me, though. It's just the way it is. Best way to avoid such problems is to never ask her about her past. The less I know, the better. 1
mesmerized Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 That is because the women who sleep around expect the same thing from a man now what they did 200.000 years ago. And most of them won't keep that man. Because they are just easy laid. When a woman like that settles with a man in her own peergroup. She expects him to protect her, take care etc (all the biology apply here) Yet, a man feels stupid as this point because that woman is a very high risk to settle with (overall we are attracted to virgins etc, because of the high change of the babies be the man's own). 200.000 years ago a women like that would have died. No one would have taken responsibilty for her (probably those women wouldn't have existence) It PAINS me when people talk about "200,000" years ago like they know ANYTHING about it. The simplicity and lack of intelligence is just unbelievable. If you don't respect science and logic, at least respect yourself! 2
meandmyself Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 (edited) Several things in play here. When I was a young lad, a young pup, maybe 15 or 16; I wanted every girl I went after to be a virgin. Not that bad because there are quite a few number of 16 year old virgins. However, through time, I realized 1.) expecting a virgin in my 20s and 30s is super unrealistic and 2.) I now enjoy women who have some sexual experience under their belt. That's one side. The other side is like Kaylan said, if I know a girl has slept with someone I deem a loser, the whole thing is off. I can't find a way to talk myself out of it. If she's slept with someone I don't like, or someone I feel is just lame overall, I can't follow through. I also can't sleep with someone who has had a significantly large number of partners. I just can't do it. I'm not shunning them or hating them, our lifestyles are just too different. I've never sat with someone and told them why I feel drugs are bad and they shouldn't do them. Who am I? And besides, people don't want to be lectured. They are free to live their life, and I the same. So if a woman wants to sleep with 30 guys by the time she's 23, she's perfectly in her right to do that. She won't be getting a date from me, though. It's just the way it is. Best way to avoid such problems is to never ask her about her past. The less I know, the better. I can totally relate to your way of seeing things... I am in an actual relationship so I wouldn't date any woman (but mine) at all at this moment, but I can relate to any man who takes a decision based on this subject... We are entitled to chose based on any criteria we want (this works for all humans, males or females), even if I would be promiscuous (I am not), I still have the right to base MY choice in the criteria I wan't... I hate talks about double standards in a choice criteria ... if you are fat you need to like fat people? If you are ugly you can't aim for a pretty face? If you are promiscuous you can aim for a prude woman? That is Bull****! I will tell you that most men I know (specially the big players) have little respect for promiscuous women, sometimes when we speak about a girl they had One night stand with they refer to those girls as "meat"... I am sorry if that shocks you, it is not my term but is a very frequently used term by those men which promiscuous women decide to sleep with... The one thing I do not agree with you though is about not asking about the past... not knowing will not change the facts... is like the people who thinks they can cheat on their partner as long as the partner doesn't find out... well first you are living a lie by cutting the decision of your partner to take a sound choice you are holding him hostage with your lies... second you will need to live with the shame of knowing you have been chosen based on a lie and the fear of your partner finding out... I think the only way a relationship may work is with the truth forehand... If it hits you in the future when you are involved the situation will only be worse... Edited November 29, 2012 by meandmyself 1
Woggle Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I don't care as long as she never cheated on anybody. That is a deal breaker.
KungFuJoe Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I've mentioned this before, but according to some studies (and I mostly believe this) the reason why men are so concerned about the number of partners a woman has had is due to "Paternity Uncertainty". Google it if you want but it goes back to before Paternity tests...men were NEVER 100% certain that their offspring were actually theirs (whereas women ALWAYS are certain...obviously). So in order to better their chances that they were raising their own children, they required virgins or women with a very low number of partners. Overtime, this became an innate desire in men. Women have the same thing (though it's not called Paternity Uncertainty for obvious reasons). Women don't necessarily want a guy with a lot of partners because they want a man to stick around and help them raise the children and to protect them. But the "degree" to which women want men with low numbers is much smaller than vice versa which is why many more men go through things like Retroactive Jealousy than women or are as concerned about numbers. It really makes sense if you think about it. It even factors into cheating. When men cheat, what's the first question the woman asks? "Do you love her?" She's concerned he will leave and not stick around to raise the family. What's the first question men ask? "Did you have sex with him?" He's concerned she might get pregnant by him.
mortensorchid Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Unless you know without a doubt that the both of you are young and both virgins, it would be foolish if not downright neive of you to assume that ANYONE you encounter does not have some kind of past. Whether the person has been with 1 other or 50 others, what does it really matter? The older I get, the more I realize that we all go through phases in life as we change. The past is the past, for better or worse. We all made mistakes, we all mature. You can go through the "I will only be with a person I love" to the "I will get as many notches on my belt as possible" times and everything in between. The best policy is to simply "don't ask, don't tell". Honestly, what difference does it make if you banged some dude / girl 15 years ago? They are part of the past, and they are in the past. It's just a bunch of memories. Assume that the person you are with had a past, just like you have, and live in the now with them. 1
meandmyself Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 (edited) Unless you know without a doubt that the both of you are young and both virgins, it would be foolish if not downright neive of you to assume that ANYONE you encounter does not have some kind of past. Whether the person has been with 1 other or 50 others, what does it really matter? The older I get, the more I realize that we all go through phases in life as we change. The past is the past, for better or worse. We all made mistakes, we all mature. You can go through the "I will only be with a person I love" to the "I will get as many notches on my belt as possible" times and everything in between. The best policy is to simply "don't ask, don't tell". Honestly, what difference does it make if you banged some dude / girl 15 years ago? They are part of the past, and they are in the past. It's just a bunch of memories. Assume that the person you are with had a past, just like you have, and live in the now with them. Again... I don't judge or hate women who have been with 1, 50, 100 or even 1000 guys, it is their choice..., I just explaining that I would NEVER have a serious date with a woman if I know she has been with to many men in her past (most of men I know wouldn't either) ... it is my choice and that is it. "don't ask, don't tell" doesn't work for me because I want to know, for me it is part of who this person is and I am in my right to take a decision knowing the whole truth... You may think that I probably will get lied to... well you are maybe right but if I find out I will feel the same way as she would have cheated on me and then the hit will be even bigger because we probably will be involved in a relationship... anyway at any time it will be a total turn off and I will leave her in the spot.. Edited November 30, 2012 by meandmyself
meandmyself Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 (edited) Unlucky for you, everyone has had sex with someone that a potential SO would disagree with. That is so not true!!! I don't know in which world you live but there are still lots of women who have not slept with half of the town and only had sexual relationships with their previous boyfriends (yes they exists... surprised?). And not all women sleep with morons... I am sorry if that is your case... Edited November 30, 2012 by meandmyself
meandmyself Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 It doesn't have to be morons. Is has to be with someone you don't like. You won't get along with everyone. well I expect the girl I want to be with not to have slept with everyone either...
SmileFace Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 well I expect the girl I want to be with not to have slept with everyone either... Somoene can sleep with one person and their new s.o could still not like them or approve of that one person. How difficult is that to understand? 1
Drseussgrrl Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I want to know what this magical number of "too many" is. I'm guessing each dude judges that number differently. 20? Well what if it's 21 after you but things don't work out and the next dude thinks well 20 I could handle but 21? NO. Frankly I don't think someone's number is anyone's business but theirs. It's not a conversation I even have with, well, ANYONE. It's personal and irrelevant.
MrCastle Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Unlucky for you, everyone has had sex with someone that a potential SO would disagree with. Possibly, not definitely, but either way--if I don't know about it, I can't get mad about it, right? That's why I promote a don't ask don't tell policy in regards to past. 1
meandmyself Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Somoene can sleep with one person and their new s.o could still not like them or approve of that one person. How difficult is that to understand? I understood you from the beginning, it is just that you can have bad luck and sleep with the wrong guy... can happen... Fortunately it doesn't happen often
meandmyself Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I want to know what this magical number of "too many" is. I'm guessing each dude judges that number differently. 20? Well what if it's 21 after you but things don't work out and the next dude thinks well 20 I could handle but 21? NO. Frankly I don't think someone's number is anyone's business but theirs. It's not a conversation I even have with, well, ANYONE. It's personal and irrelevant. It is not about the number either (or not only) it is more about how did you get to that number. I would prefer a girl who has been with 10 guys but all within a relationship that a girl who has been with 5 but it was at the same time in a gangbang... or another one who has been with 7 but all ons with guys she did not even know... For me is more how a girl does approach sex that the number it self, I can imagine that a girl of 30+ years old have had a number of relationship and it would be very naive to think she did not have sex on those ones.. but anyway if you have only had sex in serious relationships your number will never get to the red alarm... (By the way 20 is already a lot!) 1
meandmyself Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 If you don't ask about her past, then how can you be so sure you will like her in the future? I think with serious relationships you should be willing to divulge everything. And still be accepting to love the other person unconditionally. Again I agree 100% with you !
meandmyself Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Frankly I don't think someone's number is anyone's business but theirs. It's not a conversation I even have with, well, ANYONE. It's personal and irrelevant. Why? are you ashamed of it? Your past is part of what you are now... wouldn't you like to know if the guy you are going to have a relationship with has cheated on each and everyone of her previous girlfriends? More dramatic.. wouldn't you like to know if he was a rapist? Anyone can make a choice on their relationship based on how the other person is and the past is what makes you what you are...
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