dazedandconfused17 Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Hello everyone! my boyfriend of a year and a half just got accepted into grad school away from the city that we currently live in (miami). He's not leaving the state of florida but he's going to be about 6-8 hours away. He leaves in january so it doesn't really give us a lot of time together but I we are thinking of doing long distance since we both aren't ready to break up; especially since we still love each other so much and want to be together. But i just don't know how to handle the whole situation. He's going to be gone for two years and it's just hard because for the past year and a half we have been with each other almost everyday and spend a lot of time together. I know he needs to do this for his career and I would never think of holding him back but i'm just going to miss him so much and i'm not sure how to handle it all & i just really am hoping for some advice
FitChick Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Six to eight hours away by car is nothing. Take a plane or train then.
todreaminblue Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Hello everyone! my boyfriend of a year and a half just got accepted into grad school away from the city that we currently live in (miami). He's not leaving the state of florida but he's going to be about 6-8 hours away. He leaves in january so it doesn't really give us a lot of time together but I we are thinking of doing long distance since we both aren't ready to break up; especially since we still love each other so much and want to be together. But i just don't know how to handle the whole situation. He's going to be gone for two years and it's just hard because for the past year and a half we have been with each other almost everyday and spend a lot of time together. I know he needs to do this for his career and I would never think of holding him back but i'm just going to miss him so much and i'm not sure how to handle it all & i just really am hoping for some advice You wont know how you will handle it until you are in it.It is hard to be in an ldr.You miss that person and basically you have to continue with your life doing things you normally do with the added bonus of missing someone.I would write letters by hand, send little things that made me think of my ldr who is an ex now...long story.......we would have songs i used to make up tapes and send them......phone calls were.....creative......and when he did come back i would create all his favourite meals for however long he stayed.....i would spoil him basically.......so it can be done........you just have to go that extra mile put aside your sadness and give as much as you woudl normally and then some more for the distance.....its all about endurance.......you have to try and keep the romance alive without touch......and its an eye opener to how much you can miss that simple expression of touch....i would write poetry and read it to him over the phone.....he said he loved it maybe he did maybe he didnt.......what matters was i was in there 110 per cent effort....my exes percentage was much lower....you have to be equally committed and exclusive for it to work...i wish you luck and love in your new ldr style.....deb 1
veggirl Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I agree with FitChick, 6 hours by car is really not bad. You guys realistically could visit every other weekend. Any chance of you going as well? 1
amayana Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) Hi there! Being away from the person you love and not being able to see them as much as you used to is always difficult. However, like most people mentioned the distance between you and your boyfriend isn't too bad, so I wouldn't worry too much! My boyfriend and I have been in an 'intercontinental' relationship for over 6 months now and we're still going strong I can tell you that you'll feel lonely a lot. I can also tell you how hard being in a LDR can get but you won't be able to understand until you go through it yourself. Just be prepared, you know. I'm sure you'll be able to see your boyfriend more often than not even though it will be hard to adjust to the new situation. I know that right now you might just see the negative side of it but as odd as it sounds a LDR can have its advantages. Personally, I believe it's a great test to see if your relationship is actually going to work in the long run. It tests how committed two people are to each other, how much effort and sacrifice they are willing to put forth. It tests how much you trust each other. And the list goes on. Then, you have the possibility to go visit your boyfriend and discover new places. You might find out many new things about your boyfriend because you might talk much more. LDRs can bring forth your creative side, which is great! You can send love letters, parcels, care packages, and all kinds of things. You can play games online or decide to do a blog together. Just let your creativity flow, it will be a wonderful boost. And finally, there is one thing you should keep in mind and that is that you can see an end to this distance. There are enough people on this forum who are not as lucky as you, who do not know if they will ever be able to close the distance with their SOs. This end date will help you a lot and makes it a bit more bearable, knowing that it won't go on like this forever. You will spend a lot of time looking forward to things, you will appreciate your boyfriend more and not take him for granted. I'm sure he will feel the same. Don't be afraid to embrace this experience, you'll learn a lot from it! Good luck with everything, dear! Edited November 14, 2012 by amayana
Author dazedandconfused17 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 Thank you so much for the reply you guys I really appreciate it a lot! An i'm really taking all your words into consideration. It's just hard right now because i'm in the dark and i'm not sure what to expect but i'm trying to think of it positively and look at all the good that can come of this like the looking forward to something and i feel that this will make us appreciate each other a lot more and will strengthen our relationship. and you're right a 6 hour car ride really isn't that bad at all i guess i'm just worried because he said that he's done the long distance thing before and it didn't work out but i know that that relationship that he had with his exs are different than ours and he said it himself that he has way better experiences with me than he did with them. So i just have to wait and see how it goes. But i really do appreciate the replies that really have helped me out a lot and i feel like this whole forum thing is going to help me out a lot to talk to people about it so i see that i'm not alone so thank you
CherryT Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 I'm also new to LD... We never lived together or have been in the same city. We met on holidays a few months ago and was exclusive pretty much from the start. I see your concerns and I understand because I have the same. My ex gave up on us and cheated on me towards the end of our relationship and we weren't even ld. I know from my past, I am afraid of someone "giving up" on me or our relationship when I put in 100%. In my current long distance relationship, I sometimes do get needy which isn't a good thing. You'll have to understand that you cannot have constant communication with them ALL the time. There are weeks when we talk all day, morning till night and other weeks our jobs get the best of us and we speak sporadically (we check in once or twice while at our 8-9 hour job) throughout the day and just in the evening. Just because things like that change, it doesn't mean his feelings change. Don't get upset and play passive aggressive games (I've been guilty of it) because he's also trying to juggle school and his relationship. Support him and he'll support you. You can definitely tell him you miss him but don't dwell on how hard it is... it only makes things more sad. Plan ahead for when you're going to see each other and stick to those plans and when you see each other, live in the moment and love every second of it.
Daniel V. Ross Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 Even though that you'll be separated, you can still able to get with him through phone. He has a purpose why he will going to do it.
Author dazedandconfused17 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Posted November 15, 2012 yeah you're all right. I feel like the first semester of school will probably be the hardest since we're trying to get a feel for how things are going to go. I just want to make sure he's in on this as much as I am so i'm going to make sure to speak to him about this soon because he does leave soon (January). And well a plane ticket is only $110 so I guess that's not so bad and the bus ride is only about $50 so we'll see how it goes. But I really appreciate the advice so much!! I hope my relationship can be as successful as all of yours seems to be going
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