LikkleMissConfused Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Hello everyone, I feeling really down today. I have been seeing this guy and he is the sweetest thing although very immature. He will start things in publisc places because of his own downfalls. I have tried to be a friend and help him work wise life and family wise. He is approaching 30 unemployed lost doesn't really know what he wants from his life apart from me and a wonderful relationship with a girl. The little things piss me off like he will take me for a meal and ask me to pay half, I've never been treate dlike a lady and I know that might sound bitchy. I always try to talk to him but he just shuts the door. Last time he cheated on me so I backed off and said to him lets work on our friendship but he just jumped back into the relationship mode. And he blames me for what he did! I realise that there is nothing now. I've left him alone and thats fine but I feel down and upset because if anything I though we were mature enough to have a friendship. Obviously not, and I will miss him because he is a kind person but have different values and princicples. You see he comes from a lower class family not that it matters to me but its his attitude he doesn't want to work hard, and spend all his money on going out. I'm different I have something to show for my hard work and work damn hard! I feel so upset because he just blanks me and doesn't talk to me so I have left it but why can't people especially liek me and him who have good hearts talk it through and be more accepting? With him its me or nothing, so I guess its going to have to be nothing?
mr7man Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Sounds like you ALREADY know what to do...Move on. Life is hard enough without having someone else adding to life's difficulties. People can be anchors holding your boat back or wind for your sails. And it won't be nothing for you- you will find SOMETHING better. You just have come thru something that you feel you're failed at. You haven't failed; you've just been successful at identifying that he was wrong for you. Congratulations! He sounds immature and clueless about your feelings. If you continue to see him and you know about his asking you out for a meal and not paying, then head off the problem by asking, " Your Treat, my treat or separate checks?" Call him out in the open about this. He's a big boy (30). Growing old doesn't necessarily mean growing up. 30, no job, doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up!?...He's hanging onto you because you seem to have it all together, but how long are you willing to carry him(drag the anchor)? There are better men out there for you. Maybe he just needs a friend until he gets his life set on course. Don't be an enabler. If you make his life easier to stay in limbo, then he will not be force to get his butt into gear. Sound like he needs motivation. Remember, if you life plans include marriage, kids, a house and all the trimmings, a sweet, but immature man is not what you need. Keep your options open and let him know of your life plans. Put your cards on the table as it were. That might motivate him to get his act together or it will flush out a decoy. Good luck. Hope I gave you a crumb or two to apply.
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted August 5, 2004 Author Posted August 5, 2004 Thank you very much for your honesty especially from a man. Most poeple i know have jumped down my throat when I say he doesn't treat me like a lady and pay. It may be old fashioned but I am capable of providing for myself but would like to be treated like a lady and anyway if a man wants children and a wife then he has to take on some responsibility. Yes you have given me crumbs LOL! to think about. I know the answer and I know whats going to happen its just so horrible when I'm the one that looks like a cold hearted cow because he can't face the truth. Anyway, I went into town just now and did some shopping that made me feel better although I scuffed my wheel on the way back. So I'm peed off again.
Tech76 Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 I am sure that you could do much better. Don't make the mistake of wasting years of your life on the wrong person. Someone that is not working at 30 is a good sign that it is not going to work out.
Dork Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 Dude sounds like a loser. Repeat that again. Dude sounds like a loser.
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