Jump to content

My one last ditch effort to get my exes attention..

ImperfectionisBeauty

By ImperfectionisBeauty
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

  • Author
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
  • Author
Posted
They said it all, read it and take it hun. They are right! Trust me!

I know it hurts, but you do have to face it and face reality. I am doing that myself, right now.

Realize, if he cared, he would be there.

If a man desires you, loves you, wants to be with you and everything was so great, he would not have vanished. Unless something is mentally wrong with him.

 

You say he has a 3 yr old son? Well, most likely he is back with the mother. I do not know their history. But, the fact that he was only with you a month, and said up front, he did not want a relationship...just something that may be the case.

He hates his sons mom like hates her more than anything. She's with some new guy.

 

I just don't know how to move on at this point I mean I have gone out with out guys and they are great but none are like him. I was with this one guy for about 3 weeks and i totally thought I would date him and be his gf and then he was like "we don't click sorry" and we didn't but we could have worked on it. Idk I mean on one level I don't need to date anyone I need to focus on myself but that's so hard.. I'm fine most of the time. I need someone else then I can be happy all the time:)

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted
I need to focus on myself but that's so hard.. I'm fine most of the time. I need someone else then I can be happy all the time:)

 

This alone should tell you that you shouldn't be with ANYONE. No one completes you, no one is responsible for your happiness.

 

And in all honesty a 3 week "relationship" isn't something that you "work at." At that point it's effortless. It's bliss.

  • Like 1
StarsOnFire Established Member

StarsOnFire

Posted
Posted
He already has a 3 year old son, he is a good date I will give him that. It was just so random. I'm embarrassed to say that we only dated for like a month and a half and it is taking me longer to get over him than the whole relationship lasted... It's pathetic I know. Things started off so well, I met his family he met mine, we used to spend so much time together if he didn't have his son we were together or texting and then things changed. He started being super distant and we would fight over the stupidest things. Then he would talk about how hot he thought other girls were and it would upset me and I told him and he didn't think it was a big deal and then I realized how stupid I was being, I mean he is allowed to look at other girls and he wasn't hooking up with them so it was fine. I was an idiot and then he left me I guess. It's sad. I want to delete him out of my phone and all his texts but it just feels too final you know? Like I will never have another way to contact him. I don't have him on twitter (he follows me I don't follow him) and I deleted him on FB so if I delete his texts or his number it will be fully over then what?

 

How did you even have time to fight after only being together a month? That should've been your honeymoon time, not fight time. He's not worth it, and he proved it to you by just cutting you off.

  • Author
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
  • Author
Posted
This alone should tell you that you shouldn't be with ANYONE. No one completes you, no one is responsible for your happiness.

 

And in all honesty a 3 week "relationship" isn't something that you "work at." At that point it's effortless. It's bliss.

 

The problem is ok it is my goal to be in a relationship so of course I can't be fully complete if I don't accomplish my goal. It is so hard to explain how I feel, I just feel it. I don't need to be in a relationship but when I was with my ex I was always happy like even when we fought and I was miserable because I was waiting on him to text me or call, I knew I had him and I was happy. I just don't know what I can do to make myself happy again without someone? I am trying to learn more about myself and find activities but I am a pretty boring person haha

AlexDP Established Member

AlexDP

Posted
Posted
The problem is ok it is my goal to be in a relationship so of course I can't be fully complete if I don't accomplish my goal. It is so hard to explain how I feel, I just feel it. I don't need to be in a relationship but when I was with my ex I was always happy like even when we fought and I was miserable because I was waiting on him to text me or call, I knew I had him and I was happy. I just don't know what I can do to make myself happy again without someone? I am trying to learn more about myself and find activities but I am a pretty boring person haha

 

It sounds like you don't really know who you are.

  • Like 1
  • Author
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
  • Author
Posted
It sounds like you don't really know who you are.

 

I don't. I am so used to everything being planned out for me and structured I have no idea what I like or want or anything.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
If you're too challenging who is going to put all that effort in

 

Is this a real question?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
I don't. I am so used to everything being planned out for me and structured I have no idea what I like or want or anything.

 

Well, this is what you need to figure out before getting in a relationship. You aren't going to be in a good healthy relationship with another person if you have no sense of self.

  • Like 1
Harradin Established Member

Harradin

Posted
Posted

I kind of see where you're coming from here as I kinda felt/did something similar, but I did mine for closure rather then getting her back.

 

My ex left me for someone else, I tried getting her back a month later through actions (a video, didn't beg or anything) and doing it just felt right. But my plan scuppered when my ex basically led me on (holding my hands/cuddling/sitting on my lap) then got angry when I made her choose and she chose to stay with the new guy.

 

But I haven't spoken to her since, nor has she contacted me. I suppose I'm learning that you have to let them come to you rather then you chasing them, especially if they dumped you. If you love them you have to let them go and choose for themselves.

  • Like 1
  • Author
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Well, this is what you need to figure out before getting in a relationship. You aren't going to be in a good healthy relationship with another person if you have no sense of self.

 

You think once I graduate I will figure it out? Because I will have to live alone and work and be a real person?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
You think once I graduate I will figure it out? Because I will have to live alone and work and be a real person?

 

Living alone would help, but just finding things you like to do and things you feel passionately about would go a long way. Either way, you are young and you need to figure out who you are and be comfortable in your own skin before being in a committed relationship.

suladas Established Member

suladas

Posted
Posted

Everyone else has pretty much said it already. Most of us know what it is like, my situation sounds similar in so many ways. It's not easy but you just have to forget them, and be happy on your own and find someone new.

  • Author
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I bought this book called "Loose Girl" and it is all about this girl who was looking for validation from guys by sleeping with them and she starts super young and doesn't really learn about herself and what she likes and stuff and I am reading it now to kind of help me and I am going to try the Happiness Project.

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I didn't message him I didn't even send the mass text I wanted to but I didn't now I have no chance to get in contact with him.. Whatever

  • Like 1
geegirl Established Member

geegirl

Posted
Posted

That's a great start. It's good that you had the ability to step back and refrain from texting. See, if someone wants you, there is no need to scheme to gain attention. They'll give it to you voluntarily. If they don't, it pretty much explains their position.

 

My ex behaved the same way. Whenever he would get mad, he'd utter the words, "this is why I hate relationships." They can't handle the expectations and commitment but want to enjoy the perks of what comes with a relationship. That's all.

 

You're caught up with him saying he wants a relationship but why not listen and pay heed when he says he hates relationships? When a man tells you what you don't want to hear, listen.

 

You're looking to someone else to validate your sense of self. You need to figure that out yourself. You'll continue making the same mistakes if you keep looking to others to complete you. Don't be an extension of him. Be your own person. Time to work on your self-esteem.

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted
I didn't message him I didn't even send the mass text I wanted to but I didn't now I have no chance to get in contact with him.. Whatever

 

You have no chance to get in contact with him?

 

Flip this situation around. Yeah, you didn't send him a Thanksgiving wish... did he send YOU one? NO.

 

So why on earth would you continue reaching out to someone who clearly doesn't give a s.hit?

  • Like 1
  • Author
ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You have no chance to get in contact with him?

 

Flip this situation around. Yeah, you didn't send him a Thanksgiving wish... did he send YOU one? NO.

 

So why on earth would you continue reaching out to someone who clearly doesn't give a s.hit?

 

I just miss him a lot.

I'm not going to contact him I am going to delete him one day.

I just need to have someone else who will distract me from him when I do it.

suladas Established Member

suladas

Posted
Posted
I just miss him a lot.

I'm not going to contact him I am going to delete him one day.

I just need to have someone else who will distract me from him when I do it.

 

That's the problem you're not ready yet, you need more time. I was in that place to were I thought I needed someone new to finally get over my ex but it just means you need more time. You need to be perfectly ok being single, or you're next relationship is doomed right from the start. You'll get there eventually. Not contacting him is the best thing to do.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...