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My one last ditch effort to get my exes attention..

ImperfectionisBeauty

By ImperfectionisBeauty
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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So I decided that I am going to try one last time to get my exes attention and make him want me again. Basically every holiday I send a mass text wishing everyone a happy holiday and it is really nice most of the time people respond. I am going to put him on my text list. :D I am a little excited because hopefully he will respond and say something nice and we can talk and work things out and be back together and be PERFECT! If he doesn't respond.. I'll probably die. He retweeted me week ago and that is a good sign right??

 

I just know that I need to be back together with him, NOTHING is going right for me since he dumped me. I would honestly do whatever in life to be with him again and to have thing be good, like they were in the beginning. I don't think I can do better than him, no one else is as good as him. He was perfect, he used to wake up and kiss my back or my arms and just talk to me and tell me how beautiful I was all the time, or he would kiss my forehead or my shoulders while I was driving. And he was so funny! We would just text all day about the stupidest stuff or text each other song lyrics haha it was so funny. He was SUPER smart, and he had the cutest 3 year old son, and he was a great dad. I know he would be a good dad if he and I had babies. I just saw so much potential for he and I, he used to tell me that one day I was going to move in with him and how we would decorate. I just feel so much for him still and it's been 3 months since I have talked to him. I need him, and I have never really needed anyone but he is so amazing. I don't know what to do if he doesn't respond on Thanksgiving. It's my last hope he was my other half.

wheream_i Established Member

wheream_i

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Yeah, so why did he dump you?

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Yeah, so why did he dump you?

 

I don't know. Things were great and then I felt a change and we started fighting more, and I brought it up and he would get mad and say it wasn't a big deal and I just let it go then we had a couple small fights over pointless stuff and he just ignored me one day he just stopped taking my calls and stopped texting me and I asked him what happened and he ignored me. I still have no idea how or what happened.

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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You want a guy back who completely disappeared out of your life with no explanation?

 

WHY?

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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You want a guy back who completely disappeared out of your life with no explanation?

 

WHY?

I know it's bad but it has been 3 months and I have tried so hard to get over him and move on and I just can't every song that comes on the radio that reminds me of him, or the sayings that we said or anything it is like taking a bullet lol. He was perfect for me. I want to be over him but it is so hard. I just miss him and it sucks even more that I am not meeting anyone like him, and I am trying so hard to be a better person so the next guy I get I won't run him off or do anything to upset him and then he will stay and I am frustrated because I want to be in that place where I would be a good girlfriend. I think I can be a good gf, I was to him I would give ANYTHING to make him come back. Maybe this time would be different.

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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How long did you guys date? You don't know anything that he's been up to since then? New girlfriend or anything for him?

 

ehh lots of people (esp your age) do the whole mass-text or "oops didn't mean to send that text to you!" thing to get the other persons attention. I wouldn't just because like you said you will "die" if he doesn't respond...imagine the anxiety you are going to feel waiting for a response and how you'll feel everytime your phone beeps and its not him

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Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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Honey you've got to get your head out of the clouds and get your feet firmly planted on the ground.

 

It's hard to do but stop blaming yourself- his disappearing on you likely had NOTHING to do with how you were as a gf. I'm guessing he met someone else and didn't have the guts to tell you, and was too cowardly to break up with you properly. Is this the type of guy you want - someone who can just up and leave you without a word? You think THIS guy has what it takes to be a good father? Come on.

 

I reply to a lot of your threads, because I see a naive young woman who thinks that all it's going to take is meeting the right guy and having his baby for your life to begin (at age 21 no less). I hope you know that that couldn't be further from the truth. I really wish you would stop chasing around this fantasy and start examining your own life in a very real way.

 

Do not text him. He doesn't deserve it. Stop following him on Twitter - one retweet means jack and he knows how to get in touch with you if he wanted. This guy is not your world and you will be happy again without him. A few months from now you'll look back and wish you hadn't texted him - trust me.

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

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so he left you to bang other people and you still want him back?

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Honey you've got to get your head out of the clouds and get your feet firmly planted on the ground.

 

It's hard to do but stop blaming yourself- his disappearing on you likely had NOTHING to do with how you were as a gf. I'm guessing he met someone else and didn't have the guts to tell you, and was too cowardly to break up with you properly. Is this the type of guy you want - someone who can just up and leave you without a word? You think THIS guy has what it takes to be a good father? Come on.

 

I reply to a lot of your threads, because I see a naive young woman who thinks that all it's going to take is meeting the right guy and having his baby for your life to begin (at age 21 no less). I hope you know that that couldn't be further from the truth. I really wish you would stop chasing around this fantasy and start examining your own life in a very real way.

 

Do not text him. He doesn't deserve it. Stop following him on Twitter - one retweet means jack and he knows how to get in touch with you if he wanted. This guy is not your world and you will be happy again without him. A few months from now you'll look back and wish you hadn't texted him - trust me.

 

He already has a 3 year old son, he is a good date I will give him that. It was just so random. I'm embarrassed to say that we only dated for like a month and a half and it is taking me longer to get over him than the whole relationship lasted... It's pathetic I know. Things started off so well, I met his family he met mine, we used to spend so much time together if he didn't have his son we were together or texting and then things changed. He started being super distant and we would fight over the stupidest things. Then he would talk about how hot he thought other girls were and it would upset me and I told him and he didn't think it was a big deal and then I realized how stupid I was being, I mean he is allowed to look at other girls and he wasn't hooking up with them so it was fine. I was an idiot and then he left me I guess. It's sad. I want to delete him out of my phone and all his texts but it just feels too final you know? Like I will never have another way to contact him. I don't have him on twitter (he follows me I don't follow him) and I deleted him on FB so if I delete his texts or his number it will be fully over then what?

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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It is NOT fine for a boyfriend to talk about how hot other girls are! That is soo disrespectful!

 

Anyway it sounds like you guys moved WAY too fast, you need to check that because it's how stuff fizzles out so quickly.

CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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It is NOT fine for a boyfriend to talk about how hot other girls are! That is soo disrespectful!

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LOL ........ Women!

 

It was a month and a half, it wasnt a boyfriend girlfriend thing... He pulled the ejection seat because she isnt the most emotionally healthy person.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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LOL ........ Women!

 

It was a month and a half, it wasnt a boyfriend girlfriend thing... He pulled the ejection seat because she isnt the most emotionally healthy person.

 

No I was fine when things started. Any problems we had were because of things he did. I tried so hard to agree with him a lot and learn to like stuff he liked. I disagreed with him one time and he flipped **** on me. And it was a bf gf thing. He called me his gf. But then when he got mad he would say "this is why I hate being in relationships" blah blah

CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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"this is why I hate being in relationships"

 

Dun Dun Dun..... he wasnt looking for a relationship.....

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Dun Dun Dun..... he wasnt looking for a relationship.....

 

Then why did he agree to one?

He said he wanted a relationship and he called me his girlfriend.

He only said that stuff when he got mad at me.

CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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If I was a fisherman, out on the river, and a 20 pound catfish jumped in my boat, what was the point in going out in the river trying to catch something, it just threw itself at me.

 

At first I would be excited about what I caught but then after the adrenaline wore off, I'd realized I put no effort into catching that fish, it just jumped in the boat.

 

I'd eventually get tired of it, and want the thrill of actually catching something that's a challenge.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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If I was a fisherman, out on the river, and a 20 pound catfish jumped in my boat, what was the point in going out in the river trying to catch something, it just threw itself at me.

 

At first I would be excited about what I caught but then after the adrenaline wore off, I'd realized I put no effort into catching that fish, it just jumped in the boat.

 

I'd eventually get tired of it, and want the thrill of actually catching something that's a challenge.

 

:( aww thats mean.

I didn't throw myself at him. We both liked each other. It just was super intense everything was.

 

I just really care about him and miss him and I just want him to come back. And things to be good. I would change if he needed so then it could work.

CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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I would change if he needed so then it could work.

 

And this is your biggest problem, no sense of self identity.

 

When Im in a relationship, I want someone that accepts me for who I am and can't change it even though she might try. IF a person doesnt accept me for me, then thats their problem not mine. I wont change for anyone.

 

This shows that you are not a challenge

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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And this is your biggest problem, no sense of self identity.

 

When Im in a relationship, I want someone that accepts me for who I am and can't change it even though she might try. IF a person doesnt accept me for me, then thats their problem not mine. I wont change for anyone.

 

This shows that you are not a challenge

 

If you're too challenging who is going to put all that effort in

CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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If you're too challenging who is going to put all that effort in

 

Someone worth it!

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KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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I am a little excited because hopefully he will respond and say something nice and we can talk and work things out and be back together and be PERFECT!

 

You truly need to get a grip on reality. You're living in a delusional land where you send a holiday message and all of sudden he's having an awakening that you're the one he's been looking for all along.

 

This is not what's going to happen. Worst case scenario: He won't respond. Best case scenario: He'll say thank you.

 

If he doesn't respond.. I'll probably die.

 

You are just setting yourself up for the biggest fall since he dumped you. When someone dumps you, it means they no longer want you. He knows who you are. He knows your personality. A text message isn't going to suddenly change this. It's three months post split... and nothing. He doesn't want you back, he's not professing his love.

 

Also, HE DUMPED YOU. Believe me when I tell you he can smell the desperation oozing out of your pores from 10 miles away. Why are you chasing someone who wants nothing to do with you? It doesn't make you more attractive, it makes you look pathetic (honest truth). It doesn't make him value or respect you, it actually makes him pity you.

 

He retweeted me week ago and that is a good sign right??

 

This isn't a sign of anything. It's a TWEET. Has he texted you saying he made a mistake? That he misses you? That he loves you? That he wants to try again? Wow, he clicked a button on the internet, it must be love! -- do you see how ridiculous I sound?

 

I just know that I need to be back together with him.

 

You don't NEED to be back with him. You WANT to be with him. There is a huge difference. Never place your "needs" on another human being. It's insanely stressful when someone knows they're your sole source of happiness. It's a lot of pressure. Guys can smell clingy and needy girls miles away as well, these girls aren't attractive or people they want to be with.

 

NOTHING is going right for me since he dumped me.

 

This is no one's problem, or no one's fault but your own. Your ex isn't some sort of god. He doesn't make the earth spin. If things are going right... CHANGE IT. Change comes from within. You can't rely on someone to fix your life, or to hold your hand helping you live life.

 

 

I would honestly do whatever in life to be with him again... I don't think I can do better than him.

 

You have SERIOUS self-esteem issues. You need to recognize your own worth as a human being. You think from a world of billions of people, only ONE is good for you?

 

no one else is as good as him. He was perfect.

 

You need to take him down off this pedestal you have him on. He's a human being, no different than the rest of any of us. NO ONE on this planet is perfect. Do you really think he's the only guy on this planet who's told someone how beautiful they are? Or that has kissed someone? Do you think he's the only guy on this planet who's texted their girlfriend music lyrics?

 

You need to take a step back and look at this situation--- look at you going on and on about this guy. It's almost vomit inducing here. He DUMPED YOU. You may think the sun shines out of this guy's a.ss but he doesn't view you in the same light. Hence, why he's not with you. He doesn't think you're perfect, or amazing, or the best woman on this earth for him. HE LEFT YOU.

 

No amount of you begging, pleading, or desperation is going to change that. If he doesn't want to be with you... you need to start accepting it. Because what you're doing, the way you're living... it's not healthy. You'll never move on if you keep acting like he's some gift.

 

He doesn't want you. End of story. You should NEVER lack self esteem this much that you chase after people that don't want you. Find someone that DOES.

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KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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If you're too challenging who is going to put all that effort in

 

I hate to break it to you but guys LIKE the challenge. They don't like girls who just bend and become whatever the guy wants. They want a girl who's a bit of a mystery, a puzzle, an independent identity.

 

Can I tell you that the guys who chase me the hardest, and the longest are the one's I show ZERO interest in. The guys I don't go out of my way to talk to. The guys who I flirt with OTHERS in front of.

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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LOL ........ Women!

 

It was a month and a half, it wasnt a boyfriend girlfriend thing... He pulled the ejection seat because she isnt the most emotionally healthy person.

 

What do you mean LOL women? I have never dated a guy who talked about how hot other girls are to me, and I wouldn't date a guy who does that.

 

She said he was her boyfriend, so that's why I used the words...

 

and I agree she is not emotionally healthy at all, and racing full steam ahead into a relationship is why this fizzled.

BrokenDreamCatcher Member

BrokenDreamCatcher

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They said it all, read it and take it hun. They are right! Trust me!

I know it hurts, but you do have to face it and face reality. I am doing that myself, right now.

Realize, if he cared, he would be there.

If a man desires you, loves you, wants to be with you and everything was so great, he would not have vanished. Unless something is mentally wrong with him.

 

You say he has a 3 yr old son? Well, most likely he is back with the mother. I do not know their history. But, the fact that he was only with you a month, and said up front, he did not want a relationship...just something that may be the case.

Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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OP my Ahole ex used to do the same thing to me. I was pretty green and didn't know any better. My mother never taught me anything about how a guy should treat you. I never begged, pleaded or contacted my ex ever again thank god. I never want to see him again. Now I'm with someone who treats me far better than my ex ever did. And this new guy doesn't gaslight me. If I had chased my ex, I might have missed out on this far better person. You deserve BETTER!

Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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Oh and your ex is a massive jerk.

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