EdLouis Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I asked this question on another website but only received responses from single people over 35, I'm 21 and the girl is 20 so I'd really like feedback from people around our age group. Just because it's a different generation and mindset to those older and much younger as well. Ok so just a warning this is probably going to be a lot to read but I'll try to shorten it. Backstory I've known this girl since I was a junior in hs, she was a year behind me and one of the wrestling managers. I always thought she was cute and flirted with her all the time. During the season, she never really reciprocated but never stopped it or seemed to be bothered at all by it (so as a guy I always took that as "I still have a chance" haha). I dated throughout hs but during the end of my senior yr for the first time had a girl (that she knew) that I actually called my gf. But during that wrestling season I still flirted with her because I hadn't been dating the other girl yet. It wasn't til I was dating the other girl that she decided to tell me she always kinda had a thing for me. Since graduating we've talked every once in a while but I haven't seen or talked to her in about 2 years now. I texted her a few weeks ago simply to just basically say hi, because I missed her, as we did get close as friends from all the talks during wrestling. She said we should go out to a movie, which I agreed to. I wasn't sure that it was a date or not but she definitely hinted that she was interested in me just from how she texted. We went to the movies, and I guess she thought I was offering to pay (which I actually wasn't haha) but she kinda grabbed my arm and was basically like, 'you aren't gonna pay for me'. We both were there 15 min early so we had time to talk, she seemed pretty relaxed from her body language so at this point I'm pretty sure it wasn't a date but still had the hopes that it was. During the movie I made a point not to put my arm on the armrest between us but kept it close to see if she'd move close and she never did. The movie ended and we talked all the way to her car and talked and laughed for about half an hour. At this point I was pretty sure it was just a hangout, which I was fine with. She had already been talking about going out again, that her birthday was soon, and jokingly that she only let guys get her drunk on the 3rd date. We planned to go out the next week and she said she'd like to go out to dinner. So I leaned in for a hug or down rather, since I'm pretty tall, and she went for a kiss. It honestly was a little awkward but only for a split second because then I put my hand on her chin and we kissed. Ok so next week the 2nd date day comes along (which I had told people about, just because my parents and some friends wanted to make plans for that day and I had to decline). But about an hour before she calls me sounding a bit shaken up, speaking quickly, and basically said she has some stuff going on with her family the last couple days and wanted to reschedule for next week and said she was sorry. I was disappointed but agreed because I've always like this girl. So last we're supposed to have the date on Saturday, I text her prior to the agreed time because I kinda remembered where she lived but since it'd been a few years I wasn't sure. I simply asked if she could give me the address or if I should just look for her car which is yellow and easy to spot. And I never received a response. I'd had been texting her prior to this day and she didn't really respond very quickly, but she said she was having problems with her phone which at this time I had forgotten since I was staring at the clock wondering if she was gonna call me or what. So the next day I text her "so, what happened?" at this point I figure it couldn't hurt to ask since it seems like I probably won't be seeing her again. And she says that she had food poisoning from something she ate that day ( I forgot to mention that on our first date she rescheduled it to the next day because she said she got food poisoning then too). She claimed she responded to my text but couldn't figure out why I never responded to hers and just figured I was mad. So it's been a week and now I haven't heard from her at all. So what are your thoughts? Also, I'm sorry for writing a novel haha I've actually had a couple girls I messaged about this give some really helpful responses but only a few responded back so I thought I'd post what I told them here. This is kind of a lot to read so I apologize for that. Backstory I've known this girl since I was a junior in hs, she was a year behind me. I was a wrestler and she was one of the wrestling managers. I always thought she was cute and flirted with her all the time. During the season, she never really reciprocated but never stopped it or seemed to be bothered at all by me flirting (so as a guy I always took that as "I still have a chance" haha). I dated throughout hs but during the end of my senior yr for the first time had a girl (that she knew) that I actually called my gf. During the wrestling season that year I still flirted with her because I hadn't started dating the other girl yet. Then It wasn't til I was dating the other girl that she decided to tell me she always kinda had a thing for me (kind of a good new, bad timing sorta deal). Since graduating we talked every once in a while for a bit. But I haven't seen or talked to her in about 2 years now. I texted her a few weeks ago simply to just basically say hi. I missed her, as we did get close as friends from all the talks we had during wrestling. She said we should go out to a movie, which I agreed to. I wasn't sure if it was a date or not but she definitely hinted that she was interested in me just from how she texted. We went to the movies, and I guess she thought I was offering to pay (which I actually wasn't) but she kinda grabbed my arm and was basically like, 'you aren't gonna pay for me'. I was a little hurt that she said it so adamantly, but then again I was really sure if she asked me out on a date anyway, so I just assumed it was very likely not at that point. We both got there about 15 min early so we had time to talk, she seemed pretty relaxed from her body language as we were sitting and talking, but she kinda sat away from me in her chair so I again was pretty sure this wasn't a date(but still hoped a little that maybe I was wrong). During the movie I made a point not to put my arm on the armrest between us but kept it close to see if she'd maybe move closer and she never did. The movie ended and we talked all the way to her car and talked and laughed for about half an hour. Now I was almost positive it was just a hangout, which I was fine with. She had already been talking about going out again, that her birthday was soon, and jokingly that she only let guys get her drunk on the 3rd date. We planned to go out the next week and she said she'd like to go out to dinner. So I leaned in for a hug or down rather, since I'm pretty tall, and she went for a kiss. It honestly was a little awkward because I hadn't been expecting it, but only for a split second because then I put my hand on her chin and we kissed. I walked to my car kind of in disbelief that we might've actually been on a date the whole time and she still apparently had a thing for me. Ok so next week the 2nd date day comes along (which I had told people about, just because my parents and then some friends wanted to make plans for that day and I had to decline). But about an hour before hand she calls me sounding a bit shaken up, speaking quickly, and basically said she has some stuff going on with her family the last couple days and wanted to reschedule for next week and said she was sorry. I was disappointed but agreed because I've always like this girl and thought something could actually happen this time around. So 2 weekends ago we were supposed to have the date on Saturday, I text her prior to the agreed time because I kinda remembered where she lived but since it'd been a few years I wasn't totally sure. I simply asked if she could give me the address or if I should just look for her car which is brightly colored and would be easy to spot if it was parked outside. And I never received a response. I'd had been texting her prior to this day and she didn't really respond very quickly, but she said she was having problems with her phone which at this time I had forgotten since I was staring at the clock wondering if she was gonna call me or just wasn't going to respond at all. So the next day I text her "so, what happened?" at this point I figure it couldn't hurt to ask since it seemed like I probably wouldn't be seeing her again. And she says that she had food poisoning from something she ate that day ( I forgot to mention that on our first date she rescheduled it to the next day because she said she got food poisoning then too). She claimed she responded to my text but couldn't figure out why I never responded to hers and just figured I was mad. So it's been a week and a half now I haven't heard from her at all. Also during the end of our first date we talked about going out for her birthday which is next week and part of me still wants to but I feel like I'm just hoping for nothing at this point. What are your thoughts about the whole thing? Any response would be appreciated.
Author EdLouis Posted November 13, 2012 Author Posted November 13, 2012 (edited) People 10 years older and twice my age have pretty much nothing in common with myself or that of my peers. I'm simply asking for those of my age because the only responses I was getting were "you kids, all you do is text these days" "why don't you just pick of the phone and call her?" (which I definitely did). So after about 15 of those responses I decided to put the whole thing up somewhere else. Because if someone doesn't understand why we use text, email, or facebook for social networking in a digital age where everything is almost completely dependent on electronics. And are used to communicate more often then in person, I'm not sure how to understand the mindset of the person let alone decipher their opinion. Age and experience very seldom are counterpart to wisdom like we hope it will be. Unless it's advice from those who've obtained success in the eyes of the individual they're communicating with. Me personally, I'd rather be broke with someone to spend the rest of my life with, then alone no matter how accomplished I am in my own mind. Rarely have I ever been given any decent advice from someone twice my age that is single, except to "never pet a burning dog" that's something I'll always abide by. Edited November 13, 2012 by EdLouis
Recommended Posts