sunnygirl200 Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 (edited) I met this guy over the summer with whom I worked with. We hit it off and hung out but I had to go back home. He knew he wouldnt see me in a while but I told him I would be back in town in November. We kept in touch through txt messages and 2 phone calls. In the last few weeks he told me he missed me and couldn't wait for me to get back to town. Then, the place he was working at closed down and he had to money. He thought of moving away but he decided to stay to try out a new job he got offered. Well, I finally made it back on Monday and he knew. He told me to stop by where he works so I did. It was great to see him and old friends. He gave me a big hug and kiss and told me a little about how he just got promoted to bar manager of the new restaurant. He said things are finally looking up for him. He knows I'm in town for the next 5-6months. Well, since Tuesday night, he has barely txted or even made an effort to come see me! He did txt me last night to say he wanted to see me but he got his car towed (which was the truth). So here's my question, what is going on in his head that he can't take one evening to see me? I know this new job is consuming his time but I feel if he REALLY missed me that much and/or wanted to see, wouldn't he make the effort?? I just have no clue what goes on in a guys head. Also last night, it was our friends bday, so he told me he would call me when he finished worked, no call or text. Seriously? Am I wasting my time? Edited November 13, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs
Author sunnygirl200 Posted November 13, 2012 Author Posted November 13, 2012 (edited) Thank you guys! I know he doesn't have a girlfriend and he's really not the type to date multiple girls. I know he's been super busy with the new job. He doesn't have late nights, I would say 11pm. I get the impression he doesn't want to chase but to be honest, I don't either. I don't want to text him, and I noticed when I don't text him, he texts me. He comes off personable and deep down he's a little insecure and shy. But last night really got to me when he said he would call and didn't so he went out for our friends bday given that today was his 1st day off in weeks. Someone told me he's playing hard to get and now that he knows I'm in town, he doesnt feel the need to txt all the time or feel rushed. My question is, if he does text me, what do I say? Or do I not bother answering at all? Edited November 13, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs
truth_seeker Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 What's funny about this, if he pestered her she would be posting a thread about how this guy won't leave her alone. Instead he is distant and she is consumed with knowing why he's not contacting her. Women. Gotta love you all. 1
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I don't think a text or phone call is too much to ask for. People always hide behind 'I'm too busy' but the truth is, we are never too busy for the things we want to make time for. My manager was training for a marathon, so she cycled to and from work and went for lunch time runs. When I want to ring a guy I'm currently texting who lives abroad, I go to the shop, buy the simcard, top up my phone and google the area code. When you WANT to do something, you can NEVER be too busy. You can literally call for a 1 minute to say, 'I am crazily busy but I just wanted to hear your voice'. My first boyfriend used to ring me say 'I love you' and hang up. I guess my point is...give him the benefit of the doubt BUT if this happens again, realise that busy can often be nothing more than an excuse. I mean we still find time to eat, drink water and go to the toilet...so what's a text? 1
Author sunnygirl200 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 (edited) Here's a brief update: I went into the place where he works because I used to work there too and I need some money to save. I knew today was his day off so I figured it would be a perfect opportunity to speak to the owner without him there. Well, low and behold, he was there and answered the door. Since I was well dressed first thing he said is Wow, you look good all dressed up. We spoke briefly as I was waiting for the owner and I asked him if he had fun last night. He said he went out for a few drinks for our friends bday, went home and crashed and was back at work for 9am. I said, you didn't call so I didn't know if you wanted to hang out. Then, I jokingly said, if you don't want to hang out, I won't waste your time if you don't waste mine. He looked really upset and said, if only you knew how busy I am trying to get things together so please don't say that. Then he asked about my dad whom he loves and I told him he was outside waiting. He ran outside to say hi to my dad and they spoke briefly. After my interview, he gave me a big hug and kiss on the check and said I will txt u later. We will see what happens, I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he is crazy busy and trying to get his life together with his new job and new apt next week. In the meantime, I am not a pushy person and I give guys their space when they need it. So here is my second chance to him... any thoughts? Edited November 14, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs, please use them in the future
Leigh 87 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 He may quiet like you.... as a person. He is not into you enough to make more of an effort, though. If a guy hangs out with you, one on one, several times like you said you both did over the summer, than he KNOWS if he is into you enough to make an effort. If he really liked you in a romantic sense, he would have called or texted, just to hear your voice and see how your going. Sound like he likes you, but not enough to pursue a romantic thing with!
Author sunnygirl200 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Posted November 15, 2012 I agree with the above post. Since our last brief meet 2 days ago, no text no call so I am not going to waste my time. I am not a girl to play games or stick around for the waiting game of who will call who first. I know he is putting in over ten hour days but a short text takes less than 10 seconds! 1
yah Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 I don't think he's wasting your time. It doesn't sound to me like he was leading you on. He was being flirty. I think you were being too hopeful. He likes you, sure, but not enough to want to do something about it.
musemaj11 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 If someone is truly interested in you, you will know. This is true for both men and women. Whats funny is that we all inside know it when the other person is just not that into us. But we refuse to believe it.
Author sunnygirl200 Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 I agree with the above. I know he's so busy and isn't dating anyone. And I know I have only been in town less than 2 weeks. Him and my father got along really well so when my dad saw him the other day where he works he came out and gave my dad a huge hug. Afterwards, my father told he lost weight, looked so stressed and incredibly overwhelmed with everything thats going on with his new job. I agree because he has so much going on now, his head is spinning. That being said, I still have not heard from him, not even a simple text which I do not think is right, especially coming from someone who texted me almost everyday telling me how much he missed me and couldnt wait until I get into town. I just don't think he realized that this new job would be consuming much of his time (i'm talking working from 9am-11pm ish). Tonight is the big grand opening of the new restaurant which he is now managing and my friend who works there wants me to come in for drinks but I don't think it's a good idea. I do NOT want to appear like I'm desperate or chasing him. He's not a guy to lead girls on either. I just don't know what to think but I have been stickin' to my guns by giving him his space and realize if he wants to contact me, he knows where to find me.
Author sunnygirl200 Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 Thanks for the advice guys! It really helps to get an outsider's point of view! Well, I thought I would post a quick update in hopes of getting some final advice: The grand opening of the new restaurant was Friday night and I really did NOT want to go for fear of looking desperate but my other friend who works there said it would look more serious if I went and the owner saw me especially if I want to work there. So, I stopped by for 30 mins. When he saw me, he said "HEEEY you look great all dressed up, I promise after this weekend I will have more time". I didn't even say a word to him and he blurted this out! So I said, "hey don't worry about it, I know you're busy, and I was just kidding the other day when I said I won't waste your time if you don't waste mine (which appeared to have really upset him, bad move on my part I know) but I clarified that at the grand opening when I told him I was just kidding and to know me better than that. I haven't texted him or called him since because I am not the one to be pushy or come off as desperate but how much time should I give him to come around and contact me to hang out before finally saying, forget you buddy! any advice?
Recommended Posts