Swe3tAngel Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 He and I started our relationship WRONG.. we weren't wrong.. what we did was wrong.. how it went down was wrong.. we were good friends.. we got along just fine. he gave me a lot of attention and i loved it.. i did the same and he loved it.. everyone around us was telling us to date cuz we got along so fine... we fought like love-birds and i felt like we were the same person w similar personalities, similar ex situations and also both forgiving, loving and hardworking ppl.. what we did wrong was without having A TALK... we just let things happen.. one day we hung out 'as friends' and that night we ended up kissing and spent the whole night in each other's arms.. later we decided to sleep together cuz we were physically so attracted / attached / addicted to each other.. so we did.. that's where the mistake happened. without getting to know each other and developing the relationship we just jumped into the finale and then we were acting like husband and wife fighting all the time til he left me... almost 7 months apart and no intimacy and that many months of me wanting him back.. including him liking another person.. we finally stopped talking almost 2 weeks now and he changed his phone # and obviously wants nothing to do with me.. i made all the mistakes and more in the book.. 1. i didn't do the no contact AT ALL while we were together and even after we stopped.. i called him like 1000 times even when he wanted space (dumb i know i was broken) 2. i wrote him love letters, apology letters, got him gifts... 3. emailed him a life story.. texted him all my pain and blaming him and desperately wanting him back 4. i even cussed him out and called him the worst names in the world.. and i even threatened him 5. yes, i even went so far to stock him :'( i didn't kno any better i was stupid and couldn't b without him since i was so used to him 6. i even got in between him trying to get with another girl (ouch i know) NO im no a teenager.. i'm 25.. yes i know my mistakes and i know i was stupid and no i don't want to hear the whole 'move on cuz he doesn't deserve you' or 'find someone else' or 'let him go and time will heal your wounds' ... i kno all that.. the reason i opened this thread is to ask this question... EVEN though i broke every single rule.. i crushed him, i showered him with love, i held nothing from him from good or bad.. and i annoyed him and made him paranoid... IS THERE STILL A CHANCE for us to get back to how we were in the first place.. the good friends that we were that flirting was so natural and it just seemed so beautiful and nice?? what would you do??? If you know that this is the person you want to spend your life with and deep down you know he's the one and you just don't want to b with someone else and even though you can live without him, you still know that he is worth the fight and you know your mistakes and you will do anything to make things better between u.. rather than just say F it and move on and let it just b without giving it an actual RIGHT fight...??? how would you do it?? to get him back..
BDranger Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Wow..... First thing you should do is disappear for a bit (from his life). That emotional rollercoaster on him needs to get a little more stable before any recovery can happen. Apart from that - you really need to look at how controlling you are. You smothered the poor man. He needs to want you in his life, so create the environment where he feels it is safe to contact you. Be advised it WILL take months, you did a lot of damage to this man.
todreaminblue Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 He and I started our relationship WRONG.. we weren't wrong.. what we did was wrong.. how it went down was wrong.. we were good friends.. we got along just fine. he gave me a lot of attention and i loved it.. i did the same and he loved it.. everyone around us was telling us to date cuz we got along so fine... we fought like love-birds and i felt like we were the same person w similar personalities, similar ex situations and also both forgiving, loving and hardworking ppl.. what we did wrong was without having A TALK... we just let things happen.. one day we hung out 'as friends' and that night we ended up kissing and spent the whole night in each other's arms.. later we decided to sleep together cuz we were physically so attracted / attached / addicted to each other.. so we did.. that's where the mistake happened. without getting to know each other and developing the relationship we just jumped into the finale and then we were acting like husband and wife fighting all the time til he left me... almost 7 months apart and no intimacy and that many months of me wanting him back.. including him liking another person.. we finally stopped talking almost 2 weeks now and he changed his phone # and obviously wants nothing to do with me.. i made all the mistakes and more in the book.. 1. i didn't do the no contact AT ALL while we were together and even after we stopped.. i called him like 1000 times even when he wanted space (dumb i know i was broken) 2. i wrote him love letters, apology letters, got him gifts... 3. emailed him a life story.. texted him all my pain and blaming him and desperately wanting him back 4. i even cussed him out and called him the worst names in the world.. and i even threatened him 5. yes, i even went so far to stock him :'( i didn't kno any better i was stupid and couldn't b without him since i was so used to him 6. i even got in between him trying to get with another girl (ouch i know) NO im no a teenager.. i'm 25.. yes i know my mistakes and i know i was stupid and no i don't want to hear the whole 'move on cuz he doesn't deserve you' or 'find someone else' or 'let him go and time will heal your wounds' ... i kno all that.. the reason i opened this thread is to ask this question... EVEN though i broke every single rule.. i crushed him, i showered him with love, i held nothing from him from good or bad.. and i annoyed him and made him paranoid... IS THERE STILL A CHANCE for us to get back to how we were in the first place.. the good friends that we were that flirting was so natural and it just seemed so beautiful and nice?? what would you do??? If you know that this is the person you want to spend your life with and deep down you know he's the one and you just don't want to b with someone else and even though you can live without him, you still know that he is worth the fight and you know your mistakes and you will do anything to make things better between u.. rather than just say F it and move on and let it just b without giving it an actual RIGHT fight...??? how would you do it?? to get him back.. eeek messy....ill share my story i had a guy threaten to commit suicide once when i broke up with him and then i had his friends harass me calling me every name under the sun and blaming me he ended up going back to live with his parents.......looking at what you did to this guy thats the only thing you didnt do.I dont think harassment or making someone feel guilt works.....it damages....emotional blackmail does not get you what you want I feel for you I understand you truly believe you care about this guy....i am guessing the speed at which you moved split you up ...you continued to move at warp speed after breaking up.......bordering, actually not bordering on harassment, you harassed the guy.I think you have more than fought the good fight..turned from good to stalkerish..you need to let things be for a while until he contacts you if he contacts you if he doesnt ...then there is a chance for time to heal your grief, you will heal....as far as getting him back i feel you have to let him be the decider in that equation....if you love someone set them free if they come back they are yours, if they dont , they were never yours to begin with......i wish you the best ....hugs to ya....deb
mammasita Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I believe there is always hope for a second chance.....BUT, in order for that to happen, I feel like you have to commit to moving on. I've read that same advice over and over again here on LS and I believe it 100%. I was/am in a relationship that went full speed ahead. We met and moved in together 2 months later. Nothing was discussed or done properly. Now we are in "take a step back" mode. Try to move on - I know thats not what you want to do or hear, but it truly is the only way. If you continue to pine over him, no good will come.
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