yogaguy Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Hi. I'm a 41 year old male who works as a custodian at a graduate university. About 2 months ago I started noticing this 25 year old female student giving me those "quick glances" where you catch them looking at you and they turn away. I first thought not much of it. I figured I was 41 and I've had a steady girlfriend now for close to 9 years. Things started changing though as the weeks went by. I clean a lab during the day and so I'm working around these students most of the time. I started to notice that she would be standing near me when I would be cleaning a sink out. I would look up and she would be reaching for something on the table and smiling at me. Then I was in a different section of the lab, and she walked by me singing, "talk to me." Then one night I was dumping trash and was walking down the hallway. I noticed her by her locker at the end of the hallway. As I got closer to her I saw her kinda look my way. As I got next to her she made a grunting noise like she was having trouble with something in her locker. I thought about stopping to ask if she needed help, but dumb me, I just thought about it, and I kept walking…really because I was nervous that she "might" like me. I know, I'm 41 and should be more mature, but I was always shy and kinda quiet, and she is very cute, so I just kept walking. I then noticed that her room mate and her would spend a lot of extra time in the lab after the rest of the students left for the day to work on projects. I would be in there cleaning at this time. One night as I was dusting off the head lamps at each desk (130 desks) when I got near her desk she asked me if I had to clean off all 130 lamps. I stopped and told her I did, but I wasn't sure about the LCD screens at each desk. She asked my why, and I told her I heard that sometimes static electricity from the dust rag might blow out the screen from the static. She asked me then to "explain it" to her. I then explained it as I thought I heard it before. The next day we I stopped by her desk and asked her how she decided on the dental career. She explained how she started as a dental assistant for a while, then decided she liked it, and so she chose dentistry as a career. I told her I already had my 2 year degree, but wasn't sure about a major yet, and I was having trouble deciding. She tried helping me by explaining how she might do it. We then got on the subject of my supervisor and I explained how rough he was to work for. She gave me some advice on how to deal with him, and I told her I would have trouble doing what she advised me to do. I told her that "I wear my heart on my sleeve." She then said she was the same way. She then explained how her parents were poor, and how tough it was for her to do what she was doing. I then said I had to get back to work, and she said it was nice talking to me. One night here room mate was in the lab with her and I started a conversation with her. Her room mate then asked me out of the blue 3 questions. 1. "Do I have any kids?" I told her no. 2. "Am I married?" I told her no. 3. "Do I have a girlfriend?" I thought about this for a split second and kinda had a feeling where she was going with it, and I answered her with "yeah kinda." She then said, "that's good" in a casual way. Her room mate (The girl I feel was hitting on me) then came over and asked what she was doing. Her room mate answered her with, "just talking." I then left to clean again. I noticed after this conversation that this girl and her room mate stopped coming around like they used to. They didn't come in anymore to work on projects like they used to. I kinda got the feeling that this girl's room mate told her I "kinda had a girlfriend" and that scared her away, or she just felt it wasn't worth it. I have to say though that I began to really fall for this girl. I know I have the girlfriend I've been with, and I'm seriously not the cheating type. I guess the combination of not dating really much at all in my 20's and 30's, maybe got me thinking more of her too. My current girlfriend has also gotten to the point where she's been telling me that if I don't decide "soon" what I'm going to do, (move out of my mom's house, and in with her and possibly marriage), that she will just leave me with my mom and just "move on." But the only reason I'm with my mom is due to the fact that she's semi-retired with two bad knees, and a recent hip replacement. My brother and sisters are all married and have their families and I'm the one keeping the house up for my mom. If I wasn't at home still my mom would be out of the house. Her mortgage is 1400/month and she has other bills too. So we've been going back and forth about money issues, my girlfriend and I. And so I think this has me thinking more of this girl too…the fact that she said her parents are poor. We had that common bond with our parents and possibly our upbringing too. So anyways, I felt I had to try something to see if this girl still "might" be interested in me. So one night I cleaned her desk especially for her. I wrote her a note and explained that I saw some dusty junk on the side of her desk (there was none) and told her I cleaned it for her, and that I hope everything was fine with it. The next day I was walking into the building and as soon as I walked up to the door they both (her and her room mate) come walking out. It truly seemed like they were waiting for me. As they came out her room mate told me, "nice haircut," and they kept walking to their car. I said thanks and went inside. I finally asked my older sister, who was in town for my mom's surgery, what she would suggest. She told me to ask her room mate what this girl thought of me. I waited at the lab until her room mate walked out by herself. I caught up to her room mate and called out to her. She stopped and had a smile on her face. I asked her if roommate was seeing anyone at this time. She told me, (in a long drawn-out kind of way), "she kinda' is interested in someone." I then asked her if her room mate was "into me," and she just shook her head no. I then said, "that's what I thought." She then told me that her room mate still thought I was "cool" though. I then told her that I just thought I was getting a lot of "signs" from this girl. She then told me that, "she's like that with everyone." I then told her that's okay, and we went our own way. I was dumping the trash later that evening and I saw her by her locker. There were other students around too. I was walking down the hallway and she saw me, smiled and waved at me, then walked in the lab. The next day I was pulling onto work, and I saw her walking out to her car (the girl that I felt liked me). She saw my car pulling up and she smiled at me. I slowed down and rolled my window down. I asked her how it was going, and she told me fine. I told her, that's good, and she kept walking to her car. I then just drove to the office where I sign in for work. I apologize for this being so long, but I wanted to explain everything. I guess I'm just wondering a few things. Was she really interested in me, (at least for a while), and then just lost interest for whatever reason? Or is she still interested and just wanting me to now make the next move? Or is her room mate telling me the "truth" and this girl really didn't have an interest in me at all. I guess I just find it hard to believe that she didn't have any interest, because I realize I'm not up to par with a lot of the dating stuff, but even I "felt" there was something there. A friend suggested that the room mate might actually be interested in me, and so might not be telling me the truth about this girl's interest. He also told me that her room mate wouldn't tell me if this girl had an interest in me at first, but now doesn't. She would keep that to themselves. I was wondering what suggestions people may have. Thanks.
whichwayisup Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 If this girl told she wasn't interested in you, would you still end it with girlfriend or would you keep the relationship going, even move in with her? This is the issue first at hand. Either shi.t or get off the pot when it comes to your relationship. Fix it or end it. DO NOT go ahead and cheat, get close to this younger woman. It's not a nice thing to do to your girlfriend and it's unfair to do to this girl. She may be into you, but who knows how long it'll last? Let's say you end it with your gf next week, then start dating this girl... 1 month later she dumps you, realizes you're too old or have too much baggage, too much life experience compared to her and she walks away from you. Will you be OK with that? Being alone? See, the other thing, to end a R and then quickly date someone else so soon after a break up isn't healthy. 9 years you've invested in your gf and that relationship. If your mom was better off money wise, you'd probably be living with your gf now, right? Maybe? One thing at at time, don't cheat on your gf. Don't be that guy.
Recommended Posts