Helluva Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 My ex and I broke up three weeks ago after over a year long relationship and have been trying to be friends since. Communication has gotten less frequent at times, but for the most part we've been doing alright at being friends. The last time I cried over him was over two weeks ago after we parted ways and had breakup sex. I'm starting to feel like this breakup is being too easy. Granted, there are times when I feel depressed still, but for the most part I feel fine. I feel like I'm looking towards the future and not letting the past bring me down anymore than it already has - and trust me...it has a LOT. Part of me is even willing to say goodbye to him completely because I feel strong enough to, but I know that's not an option - not yet anyway. Not when he still has a few of my belongings and owes me $250 for the new medical bills that I've been given. But afterwards, I feel like I just want to say "adios, time to move on and let the past be the past." But....he's dedicated to us being friends forever and always having me be apart of his life. Said so today when I told him that I didn't see that happening. It's strange if you ask me. But I also feel like this may be a classic case of suppressing my feelings. The last guy I broke up with, I cried all the time. Day night, work, school, didn't matter. I was hurt and I didn't hide it even though he was a huge douche. But with my ex - even though I loved him more than I've ever loved anyone else, I'm trying not to think of missing being in his arms or the long nights we had together, or even the future we almost had. Is this a bad thing? Me refusing to be brought down by this breakup? Or is this a good thing? Right now I'm torn.
Author Helluva Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 hey it is a great thing if it is real. i think you may be surpressing your true feelings... because he is still in your life. i'd say if you cut him out as a friend and truly go NC for a while you will eventually start missing him and becoming a wreck. I've experianced this. When my first GF (we dated a little over a year) dumped me I was heart broken... my world had been turned up-side-down. Yet, after that first week things sky rocketted. I felt great. Why? because she came around and wanted to be my friend. I had hope that things would work out eventually. That hope gave me a false sense of security and a false sense of emotional stability. We also shared two classes and lived on the same hall in the same dorm... so we saw each other a lot. However, after a while we broke that friendship, moved to different dorms etc... I wad devistated, all over again. This time it took me months to actually get over her. Your situation is different and what you are feeling is not a bad thing. However, all I'm saying is it may be false. If you cut the friendship, and cut all contact with this guy... then you may start grieving. However, for your case I hope I'm wrong. I hope what you are feeling is real... and wish you the best of luck! Ahh that's my worst fear. That this is all just the calm before the storm when he's gone from my life. But with us, it's quite a bit different than how it was with your ex. I know if he still lived here and if this was a few months ago when we were still used to seeing each other everyday and spending every night together, then I would be an absolute wreck probably for the next few months if not longer. But, the fact that he is two hours away and that I got more used to living on my own and not depending on him for anything, I think makes the process of "moving on" (or trying to) a bit easier. We typically only chat in the mornings with a "good morning!" or a "how's your day going?" later on. The other day I attempted to not talk to him at all throughout the day, which ended when he sent me a text a 3 pm saying he was sorry for not texting me back the day before. He didn't get my text though, and since he thought I was avoiding him, he called me that night to see if I was okay. It goes like that...he gets worried if I don't contact him and calls or texts repeatedly. Why? I don't know. Maybe he's afraid of truly losing me or something. But you're right....the moment he's truly gone from my life I'm probably going to grieve all over for him again. But right now, the idea of crying for him again seems unlikely. I've even tried. Listened to sad songs to remind me of us, looked at old pictures, look at our baby names we had picked out....and not a single tear. Sadness yes, but tears wont come. I just keep thinking who will be "the one for me" and I'm terrified when the moment comes that my "strength" will vanish.
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