Bebe0 Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I just joined this board today, a start to my own healing process. I just ended a two year relationship with a married man. After reading several threads, I realize what a fool I was to be involved with him. I myself am married (unhappily) and have been for six years. I am working towards getting a divorce and now realize being involved with a MM actually stalled my goals. My MM swore he wanted a future with me, said he wanted to grow old with me…etc. I swore that the feelings we shared for each other were unique and special. And for me, he was the first person I thought really "loved me". However, in hindsight, he was purely concerned with his wants and needs, and was manipulative with his so-called "love" for me. I got involved with my MM out of pure loneliness. I am only 31 years old and my husband never shows me attention or love. Initially, I felt so heart-broken to learn "how little" I ultimately meant to my MM, a man I swore someday I would have a "real" relationship with. When I stressed my concerns with him about the status of our relationship, he literally said "take it or leave it" and I left it and never heard from him again. And it still hurts, but I accept the heart ache, for I know it will stop. I own what I did, and I bought all the lies and promises. I accept I have no one to blame but myself. Prior to this I had never had an affair, never even considered stepping outside of a previous relationship. From my experience this is such an unhealthy way to live. But the cliché "once a cheater always a cheater" has invaded my thoughts. I don't want to allow myself to get sucked into the same lies and broken promises, ever again. I am curious how people moving forward, once you cheat are you more susceptible to repeating this behavior. Or is it possible to really have made a bad judgment and not repeat this kind of behavior.
veryhappy Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 It's good that you knew what you wanted and what was acceptable and what wasn't. I don't believe in the fact that somebody is a cheater for life. There's a big category that I belong to saying "never again". The burn and the insanity were so traumatizing that it simply became "no" somewhere deep inside. Go with what you know about yourself. I doubt serial cheaters take the time to reflect, improve themselves or change anything. You are not condemned to cheat again. 1
Recommended Posts