Dumped someone with no ambition, but i miss him and i've become lazier since

[lemondrops11]

Hey. I posted a while ago but basically it's been 5 months since i broke up with my ex and everyday is still a struggle to move on, i miss him a lot. Before I was with him, my life, bar a non-existant love life was pretty good. I was ambitious, travelled, was sociable, got involved in lots of extra curricular activities and I genuinely enjoyed being like this but felt something was missing having never experienced love. I met my ex at 21 & fell in love straight away. I'd never experienced such a special,close bond with someone emotionally and sexually and we just got on amazingly throughout the relationship; i have great memories. He loved me dearly but he was extremely lazy, rarely went out, was addicted to video games, messy, no ambition, did loads of weed. I ignored his habits and carried on being outwardly busy but inwardly I started developing his unambitious attitudes. I knew it was the happiest i'd felt in my life and didnt care about getting involved in stuff and going out even though i still did outwardly, i didn't believe those things could bring me joy anymore. It was a level of happiness i'd never before experienced, better than when i was an ambitious person. Since being single, despite knowing it's for the best not to be with someone so lazy to the extreme, and since trying to be social and ambitous again and do all the 'right' active stuff again, it feels like i'm lying to myself. I feel like it's admirable to be busy and hardworking because it makes people like you and benefits society but true happiness is in a loving relationship. I know for a fact the happiest i ever felt in my life was when i just had someone that loved me and when i didn't care about bettering myself as much. I never even questioned my ambition before i was with him, it was like ignorance was bliss and now i can't make myself want to be busy and hardworking but i want to want to be like that again. I genuinely enjoyed being ambitious before and now i'm so confused. I miss just being lazy with someone who makes me laugh. I don't even know if this makes sense but i appreciate any advice!

[Tmo2]

This is exactly what happened in my life recently. Unfortunatly I was on the dumpee's side. And the girlfriend started to open herself up to other men. (One co-worker said to her that he was interested in her and things evolved) Soon after she left me... 1 month ago. This is a wake-up call for me and things in my life are changing. I wish she understood how I feel. Pot did kill my ambitions and made me lazy in the relathionship. The only thing I am truly guilty of is loving her too much.

 

Why did you leave him in the first place? Did you keep contact since? Did you hook up with any other men? Have you questionned yourself as to what you really want and need???