linzartrax Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I went out by myself (I do this occasionally) to see some bands play on Friday. I noticed a man there; he looked familiar. We made eye contact a few times. I had been drinking some and was at the bar, waiting on the bartender to take notice when he came up beside me and ordered, "What she's having." Through some strange circumstances with the bartender getting mad at him for not paying for my drink, we began talking and laughing. As the night progressed, he mentioned he had a practice space near by and I followed him to his space to play drums and bass. The night flew by and I got along with him really well, although I wasn't truly attracted to him immediately. We had some great conversation; talked about love, past relationships, our astrological signs (he's into it too). He allowed me to sleep on his couch and he cuddled me; there was some kissing, nothing too naughty. I woke up and had to leave for work, but we parted ways kindly and he asked for my name to add me on Facebook. Within a few hours I already had a message from him on Facebook asking for my birth date and time so he could read our astrological reading. So he did and said that it was weirding him out/he was giddy, but trying not to be too hopeful. He also sent me his number asking me to contact him that night. I told him I wasn't going out but sent him my number anyway. He texted me the next day throughout my shift at work. One text, specifically, said "I want you! Everything you have to offer." something along those lines. I told him he couldn't have me that night, but he could come out to have a beer with me and a friend that was in town. He came by and it went well for the most part - I'm still not really attracted to him, but I like him and think we would/do get along. When he left, he sort of went in for a kiss, but it ended up being a prolonged hug. He texted me when he got home apologizing for coming on too strong and he told me he liked me, had fun and that I was pretty. I thanked him, agreed too that it was fun, etc. So - today, I asked him his birthdate and time so I could read our "love match". He sent along the info and asked that after reading it, would I be interested in a "quasi-open relationship"? Whoa. It's been 2 days. I told him that I had just met him and that I am open to hanging out. Not ready for much of anything at this juncture. Also asked that we talk about it in person because texting is not my preferred mode of communication. So, he goes on to text "As long as hanging out means that I could eventually do something dirty with you..." - which I took as a joke in poor taste. He went on to text that he won't push me, he doesn't date but he enjoys me. This divulged into him telling me I'm skeptical (which I am!) and still hurting from my last relationship (not necessarily true) and if that changes to let him know. I told him that I'm not eager to jump into some thing with someone I just met, who hasn't called me and who "doesn't date". I'm just confused. I told him he should call me when he gets off work and that I'm not mad, only flattered and confused. I WAS interested in dating him/getting to know him, but I'm not so sure now. Did I hurt his ego and that's why he's sort of lashing/out, rejecting me....all in a day? He admitted that he's been pursuing me since he saw me Friday (which is obvious). Did I mention this man is 6 years older than me?
Ami1uwant Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 6 yrs older means nothing..... I am not sure what context a quasi-open relationship was meant to mean. He is interested in you.... Why on the first date did you go to "his place" ? That says you are easy to do. Now with some of your comments you are saying you are hard to get and a game player/tease type. Reason he hasnt called is likely because he is already in a LTR or marriage....Thus he cant really talk to you on the phone. 1
Author linzartrax Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 6 yrs older means nothing..... I am not sure what context a quasi-open relationship was meant to mean. He is interested in you.... Why on the first date did you go to "his place" ? That says you are easy to do. Now with some of your comments you are saying you are hard to get and a game player/tease type. Reason he hasnt called is likely because he is already in a LTR or marriage....Thus he cant really talk to you on the phone. Yeah, I was confused about quasi-open relationship meant as well. Our first meeting wasn't a date, really. We met at a bar and enjoyed each other so much we continued hanging out at his practice space a few blocks away to play music. And so what? I made out with him after a few drinks - I don't think that makes me a tease or easy. And I don't think that he should expect to have sex with me just because of that. That's linear thinking. I also know he's dating other people right now. So there's that. A "roll in the hay" could be fun, but I really think he's ruined it for me with the texting and coming on so strongly. Women appreciate a LITTLE subtlety. Guess, I should just go with my gut here and end it...even though I'm a little lonely and curious to have a partner again. Not good reasons to get into a relationship...emotional/physical or mental.
Shaun-Dro Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I went out by myself (I do this occasionally) to see some bands play on Friday. I noticed a man there; he looked familiar. We made eye contact a few times. I had been drinking some and was at the bar, waiting on the bartender to take notice when he came up beside me and ordered, "What she's having." Through some strange circumstances with the bartender getting mad at him for not paying for my drink, we began talking and laughing. As the night progressed, he mentioned he had a practice space near by and I followed him to his space to play drums and bass. The night flew by and I got along with him really well, although I wasn't truly attracted to him immediately. We had some great conversation; talked about love, past relationships, our astrological signs (he's into it too). He allowed me to sleep on his couch and he cuddled me; there was some kissing, nothing too naughty. I woke up and had to leave for work, but we parted ways kindly and he asked for my name to add me on Facebook. Within a few hours I already had a message from him on Facebook asking for my birth date and time so he could read our astrological reading. So he did and said that it was weirding him out/he was giddy, but trying not to be too hopeful. He also sent me his number asking me to contact him that night. I told him I wasn't going out but sent him my number anyway. He texted me the next day throughout my shift at work. One text, specifically, said "I want you! Everything you have to offer." something along those lines. I told him he couldn't have me that night, but he could come out to have a beer with me and a friend that was in town. He came by and it went well for the most part - I'm still not really attracted to him, but I like him and think we would/do get along. When he left, he sort of went in for a kiss, but it ended up being a prolonged hug. He texted me when he got home apologizing for coming on too strong and he told me he liked me, had fun and that I was pretty. I thanked him, agreed too that it was fun, etc. So - today, I asked him his birthdate and time so I could read our "love match". He sent along the info and asked that after reading it, would I be interested in a "quasi-open relationship"? Whoa. It's been 2 days. I told him that I had just met him and that I am open to hanging out. Not ready for much of anything at this juncture. Also asked that we talk about it in person because texting is not my preferred mode of communication. So, he goes on to text "As long as hanging out means that I could eventually do something dirty with you..." - which I took as a joke in poor taste. He went on to text that he won't push me, he doesn't date but he enjoys me. This divulged into him telling me I'm skeptical (which I am!) and still hurting from my last relationship (not necessarily true) and if that changes to let him know. I told him that I'm not eager to jump into some thing with someone I just met, who hasn't called me and who "doesn't date". I'm just confused. I told him he should call me when he gets off work and that I'm not mad, only flattered and confused. I WAS interested in dating him/getting to know him, but I'm not so sure now. Did I hurt his ego and that's why he's sort of lashing/out, rejecting me....all in a day? He admitted that he's been pursuing me since he saw me Friday (which is obvious). Did I mention this man is 6 years older than me? I didn't take your thread seriously after you mentioned twice to us that you weren't attracted to him but still interested in him anyway. Also, how you kissed and slept on his couch is utter silliness. And then to complain how confused you are. I don't bother with women not attracted to me and if he knew what we knew, he wouldn't bother with you either.
Author linzartrax Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 I didn't take your thread seriously after you mentioned twice to us that you weren't attracted to him but still interested in him anyway. Also, how you kissed and slept on his couch is utter silliness. And then to complain how confused you are. I don't bother with women not attracted to me and if he knew what we knew, he wouldn't bother with you either. Attraction grows for me, personally. I've also been extremely attracted to someone only to get to know them and be instantly UN-interested in them. I slept on his couch because it was offered. Silly, or not, it was fun and we enjoyed each other's company, which is more than I can say for over half the dates I've been on in the past 6 months. (shrug)
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 He sounds like six years old instead of six years older judging from his game... Not sure how you could be interested in this buffoon, but he seems to be more like a desperate/stalker type with the cheese factor of a "flashy" dressed man wearing a fake gold necklace and pawn shop rings, sporting an Hawaiian t-shirt gambling at the cheapest slot machine in Vegas...and of course he asks about the quasi-open relationship lol...this guy sounds like a true gem. Honestly, I don't know how you keep your legs closed on this one. I'd be more flattered if a dog lifted his leg and farted in my general direction. The only thing he did "right" was not try and spring into your pants while you were on his choice...but judging by the suave move of a sweet kiss turned long hug I judge his competence..to say the least, and then his wonderful proposition of letting you know you could have the privilege of being a piece of @ss...I'm sure he was just simply warming you up and attempting to score big points with his gestures so far and pretending be someone of genuine character...guy has idiot written all over him, I don't know what kind of advice you are looking for? Call your stalker if you're interested I'm sure he'll be more than eager to welcome you into his arms...or basement. 1
Ami1uwant Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Yeah, I was confused about quasi-open relationship meant as well. Our first meeting wasn't a date, really. We met at a bar and enjoyed each other so much we continued hanging out at his practice space a few blocks away to play music. And so what? I made out with him after a few drinks - I don't think that makes me a tease or easy. And I don't think that he should expect to have sex with me just because of that. That's linear thinking. I also know he's dating other people right now. So there's that. A "roll in the hay" could be fun, but I really think he's ruined it for me with the texting and coming on so strongly. Women appreciate a LITTLE subtlety. Guess, I should just go with my gut here and end it...even though I'm a little lonely and curious to have a partner again. Not good reasons to get into a relationship...emotional/physical or mental. The general perception from men...if she is willing to go to his place on a first date implies that she will sleep with you that night--ie being easy. This is the expectation level. When you didnt do this and then said you wouldnt be easy he may have started talking this way to push the envelope with you. Him not talking could be him not having a free night to talk to you because he is constantly dating people.
Author linzartrax Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 He sounds like six years old instead of six years older judging from his game... Not sure how you could be interested in this buffoon, but he seems to be more like a desperate/stalker type with the cheese factor of a "flashy" dressed man wearing a fake gold necklace and pawn shop rings, sporting an Hawaiian t-shirt gambling at the cheapest slot machine in Vegas...and of course he asks about the quasi-open relationship lol...this guy sounds like a true gem. Honestly, I don't know how you keep your legs closed on this one. I'd be more flattered if a dog lifted his leg and farted in my general direction. The only thing he did "right" was not try and spring into your pants while you were on his choice...but judging by the suave move of a sweet kiss turned long hug I judge his competence..to say the least, and then his wonderful proposition of letting you know you could have the privilege of being a piece of @ss...I'm sure he was just simply warming you up and attempting to score big points with his gestures so far and pretending be someone of genuine character...guy has idiot written all over him, I don't know what kind of advice you are looking for? Call your stalker if you're interested I'm sure he'll be more than eager to welcome you into his arms...or basement. Haha - I found your reply amusing. I don't know - he seemed like a genuinely nice guy at first. I've dealt with my fair share of creeps - and I suppose that's why I'm thrown aback by him, because these actions and words he is displaying today are a way off from my first impressions. But I guess first impressions are only that.... I guess I'm just looking for some confirmation on my instincts, which I shouldn't really seek out anyway. They're my instincts for a reason. Expecting a call from him soon - will have to let him know that I don't want to be a booty call and I appreciate his candor.
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