t520 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Hi So I'm pretty bummed out now. There's this girl I was really into, really smart, cute, etc. She's 28 and I'm 26. We met for our first date last weekend. Went for coffee. I got the feeling she was really attracted to me (blushing, laughing, etc). She even asked on the date "so what do you think" but I deflected... I didn't know how to respond? I texted her after the date saying thanks for coffee and have a good night. She said it was nice to meet you, goodnight. A couple days later I called no answer so I texted her a saying hey, we chatted briefly and I said "Can I give you a call later this week, I want to see if you want to go out" She said ok. So I called and texted her about 4 days after that. No answer. So I emailed her the next day (we communicate by email quite abit) saying "hi! do you want to go for coffee next Sunday?" She wrote back I can't I'm on vacation starting Saturday and will be out of town. She didn't even say thanks anyway or offer another day. She never seems to initiate contact. I wrote back and said "ok... so I was wondering what you thought of last time we met. I'm sensing your not interested" .... I haven't heard back... Geeze I know I played this badly but common. I suck at this ... Do you think she's definately not interested? I'll just not write her again. Any advice. I know it's only one date but I liked this one. "
linzartrax Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I think she may be avoiding you and trying to be nice about it. In my own experiences with men and dating, I myself, try to be straight forward and let them know if I'm not interested, just so they don't have to come to sites like this to get advice from strangers (I'm happy to do it). She could also just be busy or nervous about going for it. Some times, I don't know what to say to some one I like. But I would at least have taken you up on the 2nd date or replied to a text if I liked you.
todreaminblue Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 If she was interested, she would have contacted you back after the first missed call. People are masters at "acting" like they are interested in someone. Nobody has the maturity to say "thanks, but no thanks". I honestly don't see the point of a person who is thinking rationally wanting to "act " interested......a blush is an involuntary physical response.....you cant act it...i can only laugh if i find something funny.......she may be playing the game though with the unanswered texts who knows, only she does....texting sucks...hate mobiles...deb
Ami1uwant Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Its difficult to tell if she was interested or not. I have had my share of dates where i couldnt tell because of the mixed signals. i think the place you blew it was when she asked "What do you think" and you dodged it....thus sending the message you werent interested in her in anything other than someone to do.
Shaun-Dro Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 (edited) Its difficult to tell if she was interested or not. I have had my share of dates where i couldnt tell because of the mixed signals. i think the place you blew it was when she asked "What do you think" and you dodged it....thus sending the message you werent interested in her in anything other than someone to do. I don't think the OP messed up on that note; by not answering kept this woman wondering and that's a good thing to me. The OP actually lost her completely when he showed lack of confidence in saying that he senses her lack of interest in him. That's a failed statement altogether. OP, never express that kind of insecurity to a woman. It will surely always backfire. If you feel she isn't reciprocating your interest, just lay it out and tell her what you want, and if she doesn't bite, lose her. Edited November 12, 2012 by Shaun-Dro missed word
Author t520 Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 thanks guys! I just feel she would show alittle interest. Any advice on how to proceed? Call her in a few weeks? Right now, Im going to just try to forget about it.
Under The Radar Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Ugh - DON'T call her again. DON'T text her again. You've made multiple attempts to communicate with her and have gotten almost NOTHING for your trouble. The fact that she didn't try to suggest an alternate coffee date when you suggested Sunday, AND the fact that she didn't say, "I'd love to see you when I get back from vacation - what would be good for you a week from now?" is a CLEAR indicator that she's NOT interested. Please - step away from the cell phone. ^^^^^THIS^^^^^ In the future, generally speaking, only make one call or text. If they are interested, then you will hear back from them. I am sorry she blew you off. Nobody likes to be rejected, but it can sting a little bit more when you thought things were mutual. Hang in there and don't let it get you down.
todreaminblue Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 (edited) Nobody said there is logic behind it. I've blushed, and made people blush...it didnt mean we wanted to date each other. I didnt say it had anything to do with dating what i did mean was that a blush is a response a physical response and its normally not a planned response it happens involuntarily....its not an act..its a reaction ...that is what i meant...i didnt say anything about her wanting to date because of blushing you misunderstood my post.my response was in regards to the masters at acting comment i dont think you can act a blush and a blush in my opinion could be a sign of interest...........deb Edited November 13, 2012 by todreaminblue
todreaminblue Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I've made people blush, and people have made me blush....and we had no interest in dating each other. So once again, in MY opinion...it may not be a sign of interest. I got the feeling she was really attracted to me (blushing, laughing, etc) this is what the opening poster said....also that the girl stated "so what do you think"..and the poster deflected her question..to me that is a sign of interest in regards to the poster not you and what you feel when you blush or make others blush....none of us really know for sure anyway....the girl does and the poster felt something that is what my opinion is based on............deb
Author t520 Posted November 13, 2012 Author Posted November 13, 2012 Thanks a ton for the responses. TBH I have no idea what happend. I was sure she was attracted to me. everytime I maintained eye contact she gave a goofy face and blushed. She even said so your really 26 and kind of smiled ( because to be honest, I look alot younger, maybe 22) and she looked, well 28. And I doubt she would ask "so what do you think" during the date if she wasn't interested. Who knows where I went wrong. Maybe I came on too strong after the date but still that shouldn't matter. She even said ok when I asked for another date. Butt Anyways. I did write her again:eek: I know stupid. I wanted closure. We met on a dating website and I decided to delete my profile. I just wrote to tell her I was deleting my profile and good luck with her search if I don't hear from her. I'm saying there's a 1% chance I hear from this girl again. bummer. Maybe I'll call in a month??? JK But really does persistence ever work? lol
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