kyle77 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Exactly as the topic says. What do I do? Cutting off all contact isn't an option. I have limited the contact, but there is still contact.
veggirl Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Depends. Why is cutting all contact NOT an option? I don't see anything in your previous posts that explains why that would be the case...? Generally i f you HAVE to have contact it is because of kids, perhaps a joint business, unfinished financial things...and in those cases, you deal with it by making the interactions as short and to the point as possible. What is it you have to have contact for?
Author kyle77 Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 This will sound petty and pointless but my social standing. A number of my friends have let me know that unfollowing an ex on twitter or blocking them on facebook would just be lame and look desperate. I know you will say that who cares they need to accept whatever I am going to do but I agree I shouldnt have to unfollow or block my ex. I should be able to just suck it up and accept it, but I can't. So i dont know what to do
taya Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 This will sound petty and pointless but my social standing. A number of my friends have let me know that unfollowing an ex on twitter or blocking them on facebook would just be lame and look desperate. I know you will say that who cares they need to accept whatever I am going to do but I agree I shouldnt have to unfollow or block my ex. I should be able to just suck it up and accept it, but I can't. So i dont know what to do i know what you talking about a few times in the past i felt i could not do know contact i always end up texing or if the person text i always end up answering i wanted to stop so when i fel like texting him i would text one on of my friends or go on my computer and read alot about how bad it is to text him or to contact him ,,and if he texts i would try not to text him back for hours but that was in the past now i can do no contact if i say i wont text the person i wont because i have learn its more then just sending a text its my self respect keep calling or texting that person your loseing all your self respect especially if he or she was the one that left you
Author kyle77 Posted November 13, 2012 Author Posted November 13, 2012 Well Im not sending her texts or calling her anymore. Its more or less just twitter that is bothering me. She occasionally tweets and my mind just jumps to conclusions about what those tweets could be about. I wish I could just not care about them but I do. I just dont know what I am suppose to do. Sure it is easier now then it was before but I feel like my ex is having a much easier time with this then I am and it bugs me.
veggirl Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Okay, well why don't you use the feature that allows you to hide who you are friends with so that other people don't know who you are / aren't friends with. Then you can delete her and they won't know. With FB you can hide her from showing up on your news feed at least. Not sure why your "friends" give a s.hit who you are friends with though...
taya Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 (edited) Well Im not sending her texts or calling her anymore. Its more or less just twitter that is bothering me. She occasionally tweets and my mind just jumps to conclusions about what those tweets could be about. I wish I could just not care about them but I do. I just dont know what I am suppose to do. Sure it is easier now then it was before but I feel like my ex is having a much easier time with this then I am and it bugs me. yeah i understand i had a friend call me yesterday crying her eyes out and i will tell you what i told her and what have always help me when am not with someone anymore ..you say i feel like my ex is having a much easier time with this then me......well that alone should tell you to let go if she really wanted or cared about you it wouldent be so easy for her so if she is not stressing out her self and worring about you and your tweets ask your self WHY SHOULD YOU ?? i ask my friend yesterday if her biyfriend was crying when they broke up yesterday she say no and he act like he dont care so i ask her so why the hell you crying and stressing and acting like that for over someone that dont give a dame ...so i say to you stop trying to read in what she tweets truse me if she wanted you to know somthing the time she takes to tweets she would have text are called you ..she dont care what you doing or saying so stop careing what she doing or saying pont blank Edited November 13, 2012 by taya
QdB Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Well Im not sending her texts or calling her anymore. Its more or less just twitter that is bothering me. She occasionally tweets and my mind just jumps to conclusions about what those tweets could be about. I wish I could just not care about them but I do. I just dont know what I am suppose to do. Sure it is easier now then it was before but I feel like my ex is having a much easier time with this then I am and it bugs me. Dude just delete her as a friend and unfollow her on twitter. It'll help you drastically in the long run. Like taya said why are you paying any mind to someone who doesn't reciprocate those feelings. Reading her tweets and status posting is hindering your healing process. Do what you know is best for you dude. Your friends should understand that
veggirl Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 and seriously do your friends go to your page and check to be sure you are still friends with her? c'mon. it's a crap excuse. 1
Sugarkane Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Cutting off contact isn't lame or stupid when you'll be torturing yourself about your exes every move. And their current relationship status.
Cloaky Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 You said cutting off contact is not an option, when in fact it really is. You posted this forum to find an alternative solution. First, be honest with yourself. I've been in your situation. She bothers you. The idea of cutting contact off completely bothers you too. Either way, you don't get a satisfactory outcome. I can see how this would be problematic. However, You already know what you have to do to end the self-torture. Do not contact her, delete any trace of her.. Anything that reminds you of her, get rid of. This is how you overcome the obsession. Eventually she won't even exist in your world. Good luck.
cavalier99 Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 These friends of yours have no idea what you are going thru. DON'T take their advise. Block her phone, Fb, twitter etc. This is about you own self preservation. If I took my friends advise id be much worse off. Do what you know you need to do to eliminate the demons of the past. If they ask you why you blocked her. Just tell them "you wanted to" end of story. You don't owe them any justification. I am amazed at how clueless my friends are even my best friend since elementary school. They are not suffering so most of them simply don't relate. Get advise here. Good luck.
Exit Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Social standing? That's a new one. I think you probably know how lame of a reason that is to not delete her, but the small part of you that might want to hang on to her in some way is taking advantage of the situation. Because this suggestion is not coming from you, it's your friends telling you that you shouldn't do it, you feel you can justify it. But it's still your choice and I frankly think your friends are dead wrong. When I saw someone starting a thread to say they CAN'T do NC, I imagined something involving living together, working together, etc, which even those CAN be changed, but your reason? Nowhere close to a situation where NC "can't" happen. It absolutely can and your friends just need to mind their own business. It's not lame to delete or block someone. It is lame to keep reading status updates from an ex and slowing down your own healing.
Recommended Posts