brokenbells Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Here it is. I was with a girl for 4-years and she left me 8-months ago. We lived together and then I took a job out-of-state last year. The plan was for her to move with me after a little while. everything was going pretty well being she came to visit a few times and we talked everyday. I noticed her getting very defensive if I asked her what she was doing in the evenings once in a while. That raised questions for me being I was so busy with work I did not have much time to go out and do things. Besides I didn't really want to go out and do anything without her. Two weeks before she left me she asked me what if we meet someone else? That raised a bunch of questions because one doesn't ask such a question unless they have met someone. She denied and said it was just a question. She reassured me that she only loved me and wanted me. I kinda bought it and then two weeks later she said it was over and that she was not happy anymore. Pretty clear she met someone else. I did the normal man thing and freaked out and accused her of cheating on me. which she denied and said that is not true and she did not leave me for someone else. Skip forward a few months and then she started rubbing in her new love via twitter. I deleted her on FB and she did not ever post anything on there about the new love. I was thinking maybe she did not want to hurt my family who was still friends with her on FB. Still not sure. I have tried to talk to her a few times over the past few months and it's like she hates me or is bitter toward me. She still looks at my twitter and the only reason I can tell is because I made it private and she made hers private a few hours later. Then I made it public and she made hers public a few hours later. Weird.. She finally made her new relationship public a few weeks back on FB and the guy posted on her wall which she deleted shortly there after. Thought that was weird. He was a former co-worker that I never heard a lot about. Wonder why... lol Anyways he never said he was in a relationship and within 2 weeks they both deleted their FB profiles. That really seemed weird because she was so proud of the new guy why would she want to hide him from the world? Long story short she still throws things at me from the past. about how I left her there when I moved and this and that. My question is what is she thinking? If I were moved on and in love with someone else I could not imagine I would be checking my Ex's twitter or hiding my new love. Also she posted a tweet months ago about she could never imagine she would meet the man of her dreams... She deleted that tweet a little while back? I thought maybe he was not the man of her dreams so I sent a text to her saying I hope she was well. she did not reply but sent a message to my mom saying about all this stuff I did to her in the past.... Why? There is a lot more to type but I am running out of time... If anyone can give me any help that would be great!
Survivor12 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Ask yourself what difference any of this makes...She broke up with you. She has not shown you that she is interested in getting back with you. On the contrary, she has shown that she does not want to communicate with you, but you have continued to stalk her & create assumptions based on a few comments about what is going on with her. Unfortunately for you, it doesnt matter if she has--or had--a bf, the bottom line is that she wants you to leave her alone. The only way to ease your suffering is to do just that. Stop trying to contact her, stop checking her Facebook and Twitter posts and stop trying to "guess" what she is thinking. Honestly, the sooner you make the decision to let it go, the sooner you will begin to get over her.
Balzac Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 The sooner you accept that her decisions had, have nothing to do with your best interests you'll see that you dodged a bullet. My take on your description of the relationship: Your career move was her easy out. She was too weak to be honest w you early on She lacks maturity for adult communication Move on. Don't focus on why. Don't contemplate bargaining to take her back. She's not the one for you. 1
Author brokenbells Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 I guess the problem is I don't understand the little games. Maybe I just think different than other people do. If I were totally in love with someone else I could not see myself comparing them to my ex for my ex to see. Seems odd to me. She has made it clear she does not want to talk to me and I have accepted that and respected that. She rarely used twitter prior to our split and I used it all the time for work related postings. As soon as she noticed I was throwing out positive tweets she started using twitter daily. Almost like she wants to keep a window of communication open... She still talks to my mother once in a blue moon and always brings up how she has moved on and is doing very well. Which I am happy for her but she is VERY bitter about things that happened years ago with us. She will not admit to any blame for her ending our relationship. Is that normal? When I have moved on I do not hold and bitterness towards an ex. I understand there was bad times but I also understand those times made us grow and made us stronger. I am doing my best to move on and focus on my career but I just find it hard because there are so many little things that don't add up.
flitzanu Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 you don't have to understand the little games. you're trying to make sense of the nonsensical. when someone dumps you, pretty much every word out of their mouth henceforth is gibberish and excuses. also you need to block her on twitter and fb and quit worrying about her posts. also don't be so vain to think that everything she's doing is directly because of you.
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