Has anyone ever been the crazy ex?

[cloudatlas]

You know, the type that spam calls, texts, voice-mails, even after they're blocked. Calls and professes undying love, begs, blames everything on themselves, etc, all the nitty-gritty emotions that are so rampant right in the aftermath. The kind that couldn't keep NC regardless of any sensible advice, because even cruelty was better than just nothing.

 

I'm asking because, yeah. That was pretty much me. I mean, he was my first love (I was more like an addict, and honestly, being in love was more painful than anything else I've ever experienced. But it was nice, too. Wanting to be there for someone, to help them, to have them happy. Just caring for a person that much, that was nice.) The whole situation was just traumatizing, and he promised, he promised to be there and he promised not to mess me up. Augh, all my trust into this one person, and it was stupid right from the start.

 

I'm just saying, that afterwards, and for the issuing two months later, I basically lost it. I found this forum after desperately searching for ways to deal with the pain, and I've lurked here since late August. I would like to tell my gratitude. (so really, THANK YOU LOVESHACK. Many, many hearts. Yes. I'm sure in a way you helped save my life, and most definitely my crumbling mental state.) I'm not very willing to go into all the details of my story, but I loved reading all of yours. I've taken screen shots of advice and passages, and tried to find my strength. Honestly, the number of photos simply of conversations from this site on my phone... It was nice to know I wasn't the only one. It was just nice to find a sense of connection and understanding, even if it wasn't my story. Back then, what I needed to know most is that other people did the same thing, went through similar stuff.

 

So just, if you've been the crazy ex, share some of your stories?

[todreaminblue]

You know, the type that spam calls, texts, voice-mails, even after they're blocked. Calls and professes undying love, begs, blames everything on themselves, etc, all the nitty-gritty emotions that are so rampant right in the aftermath. The kind that couldn't keep NC regardless of any sensible advice, because even cruelty was better than just nothing.

 

I'm asking because, yeah. That was pretty much me. I mean, he was my first love (I was more like an addict, and honestly, being in love was more painful than anything else I've ever experienced. But it was nice, too. Wanting to be there for someone, to help them, to have them happy. Just caring for a person that much, that was nice.) The whole situation was just traumatizing, and he promised, he promised to be there and he promised not to mess me up. Augh, all my trust into this one person, and it was stupid right from the start.

 

I'm just saying, that afterwards, and for the issuing two months later, I basically lost it. I found this forum after desperately searching for ways to deal with the pain, and I've lurked here since late August. I would like to tell my gratitude. (so really, THANK YOU LOVESHACK. Many, many hearts. Yes. I'm sure in a way you helped save my life, and most definitely my crumbling mental state.) I'm not very willing to go into all the details of my story, but I loved reading all of yours. I've taken screen shots of advice and passages, and tried to find my strength. Honestly, the number of photos simply of conversations from this site on my phone... It was nice to know I wasn't the only one. It was just nice to find a sense of connection and understanding, even if it wasn't my story. Back then, what I needed to know most is that other people did the same thing, went through similar stuff.

 

So just, if you've been the crazy ex, share some of your stories?

 

 

I dont know what your story is or what happened but going psyche on someone isn't going to make you feel better.I had a bad break up i didnt go psyche i didnt hit him if anything he abused me so i doubt i would ever want to abuse anyone unless it was in self defense and self defense isnt abuse...i was extremely hard on myself after the break up...

 

 

sending bulk text messages and spamming seems a pretty juvenile act....not very graceful or does it show any self respect.After my break up it took a while for me to have my sense of dignity back i didnt prolong the relationship by begging ......i got my dignity back by not contacting him........i wish you the best...ps dont go crazy go silent and dignified..by the way .....i now maintain courteous phone calls with my ex and it takes a while to recover from acrimonious breakups..... fill your life with good things and good things will happen for you......deb

[Taramere]

I've taken screen shots of advice and passages....

 

I was going to share a "me going a little crazy" story until I noticed that part.

[cloudatlas]

Ah! Oh, I didn't mean that to sound creepy. It was just something so I could look back on for comfort and strength. It's just on my phone and locked.

[KatZee]

I don't think I was the "crazy" ex because I didn't stalk him or call him all the time, I just was the "overly depressed" ex and the ex that became the booty call.

 

I loved him so much that we wound up being FWB for about a year after he broke up with me. We would meet up for sex, hang for a bit and then just go about our lives.

 

This kept me hanging on and thinking one day we'd become official again, but he finally told me we wouldn't be getting back together. So I stopped sleeping with him and started dating other guys, having fun, doing whatever.

 

We went unofficial NC because we were both living our new lives, and one day he messaged me on AOL over a year later, and we like picked up right where we left off, and became FWB AGAIN! lol this time just for straight sex, no strings attached.

 

We graduated college, and moved back to our respective home towns, and we kept in contact via Webcam and text for the next few years! (As you can see our sexual compatibility was outrageous, lmao! )

 

We still occasionally catch up to this day, he's to date the best boyfriend I've ever had, we're friends, he's dating a new girl now and seems happy so good for him. But just for giggles I was thinking about texting him and asking him for inappropriate pictures, since he did that to me ALL THE TIME! when I was in new relationships. I wasn't the crazy ex, more the nympho ex. hahaha.

[Jono85]

I don't think I was the "crazy" ex because I didn't stalk him or call him all the time, I just was the "overly depressed" ex and the ex that became the booty call.

 

I loved him so much that we wound up being FWB for about a year after he broke up with me. We would meet up for sex, hang for a bit and then just go about our lives.

 

This kept me hanging on and thinking one day we'd become official again, but he finally told me we wouldn't be getting back together. So I stopped sleeping with him and started dating other guys, having fun, doing whatever.

 

We went unofficial NC because we were both living our new lives, and one day he messaged me on AOL over a year later, and we like picked up right where we left off, and became FWB AGAIN! lol this time just for straight sex, no strings attached.

 

We graduated college, and moved back to our respective home towns, and we kept in contact via Webcam and text for the next few years! (As you can see our sexual compatibility was outrageous, lmao! )

 

We still occasionally catch up to this day, he's to date the best boyfriend I've ever had, we're friends, he's dating a new girl now and seems happy so good for him. But just for giggles I was thinking about texting him and asking him for inappropriate pictures, since he did that to me ALL THE TIME! when I was in new relationships. I wasn't the crazy ex, more the nympho ex. hahaha.

 

lemme guess u actually sent him inappropriate pictures and sexted with him while in those relationships. tsk tsk tsk.

[Inviv_girl]

Well u can say I'm the crazy ex. he broke up with me and I contact him like crazy. But before that my NC was great until he broke it all the time after few days by asking how am I doing etc.. and few days ago I did very crazy thing like calling him many-many times just want to hear his voice. I woke up in the middle of the night with dreams about him and my anxiety took control of me and I called him like crazy! he was out for party and got drunk while Im in bed sobber! and the next day he told me we should stop contacting eachother, and now here I am doing NC with hate feeling and love at the same time for him! I hate myself

[taya]

Well u can say I'm the crazy ex. he broke up with me and I contact him like crazy. But before that my NC was great until he broke it all the time after few days by asking how am I doing etc.. and few days ago I did very crazy thing like calling him many-many times just want to hear his voice. I woke up in the middle of the night with dreams about him and my anxiety took control of me and I called him like crazy! he was out for party and got drunk while Im in bed sobber! and the next day he told me we should stop contacting eachother, and now here I am doing NC with hate feeling and love at the same time for him! I hate myself

 

 

aww wow sorry hun i undersatnd what you saying am so happy this post is up because this is a great topic ..and yeah i have been there oh yeah i did some crazy ass texting too and calls when the last bf and i stop talking its like i dident know how to let go and this happen to me before with another guy but this all teach us we have to learn self control because we think we are going to get them back by crying crazy texts crazy calls beging and pleading but thats were we are wrong IT JUST PUSH THEM MORE FAR AWAY...the best thing is to set them free dont text or call them ever they may even miss you and come right back but not if you keep bothering them..i promise my self from the last time to never in my life do that again

[taya]

You know, the type that spam calls, texts, voice-mails, even after they're blocked. Calls and professes undying love, begs, blames everything on themselves, etc, all the nitty-gritty emotions that are so rampant right in the aftermath. The kind that couldn't keep NC regardless of any sensible advice, because even cruelty was better than just nothing.

 

I'm asking because, yeah. That was pretty much me. I mean, he was my first love (I was more like an addict, and honestly, being in love was more painful than anything else I've ever experienced. But it was nice, too. Wanting to be there for someone, to help them, to have them happy. Just caring for a person that much, that was nice.) The whole situation was just traumatizing, and he promised, he promised to be there and he promised not to mess me up. Augh, all my trust into this one person, and it was stupid right from the start.

 

I'm just saying, that afterwards, and for the issuing two months later, I basically lost it. I found this forum after desperately searching for ways to deal with the pain, and I've lurked here since late August. I would like to tell my gratitude. (so really, THANK YOU LOVESHACK. Many, many hearts. Yes. I'm sure in a way you helped save my life, and most definitely my crumbling mental state.) I'm not very willing to go into all the details of my story, but I loved reading all of yours. I've taken screen shots of advice and passages, and tried to find my strength. Honestly, the number of photos simply of conversations from this site on my phone... It was nice to know I wasn't the only one. It was just nice to find a sense of connection and understanding, even if it wasn't my story. Back then, what I needed to know most is that other people did the same thing, went through similar stuff.

 

So just, if you've been the crazy ex, share some of your stories?

 

omg i love this post you did girl wow so powerful and a great great topic one of the best for me thanks ...and alot of us have been in your shoe your not alone we just all have to learn SELF CONTROL even if the pain to text and call is killing us... most of all you know what we showing when we know how to control your self ....<SELF RESPECT>

[sweetkiwi]

i did something close once. Even though i dumped him. I got very very very drunk a lot and would cry over everything. I think i was hooked on the sex. Actually i know i was because we kept having sex and probably would still if we lived in the same city and we were both single.

 

Not smart i know. Don't do as i did. Be better than me. Somehow having sex with him helped me get over it which is so perverse i can't even understand it myself.

[blue_jay_bird]

You can still be a crazy ex, just not do all the stalking/breaking NC.

 

I call myself the invisible crazy ex. I obsess about him 24/7. Spend hours on LS. Obsession wit out breaking NC rule's is still crazy. I'm giving up LS it feeds the addiction of obsessing over my ex.

[KatZee]

lemme guess u actually sent him inappropriate pictures and sexted with him while in those relationships. tsk tsk tsk.

 

Actually, no, I didn't. There was one conversation I recall VERY clearly because my boyfriend at the time hacked into my email and found the conversations, but my ex said, "Go buy a webcam and lets have fun like we used to...;)" And I responded with, "I'm in a relationship, I could never do that to him, but the fact I'm actually TEMPTED shows I probably shouldn't be in this relationship anymore... :/"

 

I don't tolerate cheaters, I don't tolerate liars. And I wouldn't tolerate myself if I was a hypocrite.

[LostOne1]

I've been there as a crazy ex bf...

 

I couldn't let go at first. If we had a fight we worked it out. But she was 4 hrs away for another month for work. COuld be another guy involved so I panicked and became a crazy ex. Texted quite a lot, called a lot... another month went by texted a lot, but by then she went from being angry and mad at me to calm and talking to me nicely.

 

I then texted only every week.. and soon we fought on text msg. Basically she kept thinking she was right and that she had nothing to be sorry for etc.. So since 2 weeks ago I have stopped texting and told myself no more contact unless she contacts me. But after returning her stuff.. maybe was a crazy ex thing to do.. I doubt she will ever contact me again in the future.

 

But that's what I needed to move on and away from contacting her. Was to do something that would push her away from me and have her hate me. That way I know she can't lead me on about working it out and I can't contact her now.

 

Makes me wonder if my mind was clear the day we BU... NC would have maybe saved us and gotten us back. But begging and all didn't help, she wanted space and I didn't give it.. she told me to take a break and space too till she got back... But the thought of her and this other guy drove me crazy.

 

Who knows maybe something did happen, maybe something didn't and they were just friends. But I guess my lesson learned is I DON'T need to beg someone. If they love me they will contact me.

[robaday]

Yeah I have been, although not recently!

 

Strange though, the last girl has pretty much treated me like one - after the breakup which was less than amicable, I sent her one email telling her I still loved her and would hope we could be friends in future.

 

She replied that shed blocked all my friends and family and me from all social networks and to never contact her again......

 

man, i feel like a creep even though i didnt even do anything wrong

[LostOne1]

Yeah I have been, although not recently!

 

Strange though, the last girl has pretty much treated me like one - after the breakup which was less than amicable, I sent her one email telling her I still loved her and would hope we could be friends in future.

 

She replied that shed blocked all my friends and family and me from all social networks and to never contact her again......

 

man, i feel like a creep even though i didnt even do anything wrong

guess he is like my ex bitter and angry. Though my ex had finally cooled down, and then we had a small fight again and she got angry all over again. SO I left it at that now....

[Simon Phoenix]

Once. I was 18 and a freshman in college and was dating a girl from my English class (actually lost my virginity to her to lend some perspective). Anyway, I was clingy as hell because I lost my V and was just so in love and it turned her off the the point where she broke up with me. I was convinced I could get her back by sweet-talking (it works in the movies right?) so I wrote little love notes on the dry-erase board on her dorm room door and sent her e-mails. Not so successful. I would go down for dinner in the dorm at the same time she would normally go and try to talk to her. Yeah, didn't work at all. Finally, after one e-mail I sent (probably the fifth or sixth in two months) she replied (she replied to most actually) saying that I was freaking her out. At that point I was like "whoa, this is bad. I have to stop this." And I stopped cold turkey -- no more emails, changed what time I ate, avoided her side of the dorm like the plague, told my roommate (who had another class with her) to stop giving me updates on her.

 

I'd run into her on campus several times in the next couple of years and she'd meekly smile at me. I thought about apologizing for my previous behavior but I decided to let it go. Figured me not saying anything and acting normal was a better indicator that I was sorry than words. And in every relationship since, I've gone out of my way not to be the clingy, desperate guy during and after they end. It sucked I acted like that, but it was a valuable learning experience.