Anela Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Do you even look at women that are 4/10 or below? The problem with human nature is that everyone wants to trade up. They are willing to make an effort only if a said person is totally out their league. I messaged more than one guy who was in my league, but I don't know if I shot myself in the foot, or if it's the "women messaging men are desperate" thing coming into play (other than my looks not being everyone's cup of tea). I don't know what my league is, I messaged regular guys. Last night, I was looking at the Instagram photos and blog of a woman whose first blog I found ten years ago. I was feeling a bit of the green-eyed monster in me: pretty foreign blonde girl, the usual who attracts plenty of attention, got herself plenty of connections through her blog and projects. I had one of those brief "she thinks she's so much better than others" thoughts, before I caught myself and realized that it wasn't true. We got along, when we briefly spoke in the past. The difference between us (other than the pretty blondness) is that she trusted herself a lot more. She left her home country as a teenager, travelled around the world working at various places, made friends, fell in love here in the U.S., got married, started her own home business after a couple of years, collaborated on projects, then changed her direction and went for other things. She stays in fancy hotels (she was a travel writer who now works for a big charity in California), she rents cottages, she still has her husband, and she worked hard for her lifestyle. I had a point, but I'm lacking sleep and have to get ready to go to the airport.
phineas Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Actually, it doesn't take much for me to be physically attracted to a woman. In fact, I usually tend to contact or pursue women who are my equivelant in looks, if she happens to be even MORE attractive than that, it's just a bonus. But you'd be suprised how many men I know that wouldn't even bother with some women I found very attractive. I have a friend of mine, won't touch red heads with a ten-foot pole, yeah JUST the hair color turns him off...go figure. LOL But I have no issue with that. I've noticed this also. what I consider "GF" material a lot of men consider "random" material when their out trolling the bars for ONS. I've also been told I can do better by both men & women I know if they see me out talking to a woman clearly interested in me & honestly I've liked those women only to have them *poof* on me later. so whatever. Finding a GF really isn't a priority for me these days. It'd be nice but unless she's going to make it relatively easy to get the face-time I got better things to do & assume she really just isn't all that into me.
somedude81 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Your points are still not valid. If you walk down the street, in most cases girls are better looking that their partner. An average guy with some charisma can get a super hottie. It's not all about looks. You will nearly never see a couple where a male is hot and girl is average. Guys are and always will be more visual. And whoever said that I probably don't even count men that are below 6/10. Do you men seriously consider women that are below 6? I am sure you have ignored plenty of messages from overweight and/or unappealing females I also have to address this. Look at this picture Do I consider women that are below 6? Of course. Five and above is perfectly acceptable. Women who are obviously very overweight, top out at 4's. Losing the weight could bump her up 2 or more points Is OLD a dating website I don't know about?? It's a 60+ dating site. On Line Dating
Anela Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Exactly, any man you see with a woman is very attractive, chances are they met in person. Take the same woman, put her on match.com...she'd probably skip over that very same man if he emailed her there. In person, an opportunity in person where body language, demonstrating charisma, voice tones, mannerisms, etc. I knew of a guy that said he emailed a woman, was ignored of course....later saw her at some festival and he approached her there....he never made mention of having emailed her on the dating site, but he chatted her up, got her phone #, and they went out on a few dates. Only THEN he mentioned that he had already seen her on a dating site, emailed her, and said she never replied. She was totally shocked, and said, "Oh my gosh, had I known what you were like NOW, I would have NEVER ignored you online!" So there ya go. lol Women have SO many options online, they have tons of emails DAILY coming from men. I don't get tons of emails *daily*, but I have thought that I might hit it off with some of these guys in person, if we were around each other daily - that's why I messaged them in the first place.
Anela Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I run into: 1. women who didn't party when they were in their early 20's and feel like they missed out. 2. The I want to have children soon women. 3. The I want a travel partner women I've felt all three things, but would also feel ridiculous partying the way I missed out on (I still have no interested in drunken one-night stands), I don't want to have children soon - I wanted to be with someone for a while first, if I ever had children at all, but I'm running out of time on that front, too. And I'd love to travel, just not live out of a suitcase.
Lonely Ronin Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I've felt all three things, but would also feel ridiculous partying the way I missed out on (I still have no interested in drunken one-night stands), I don't want to have children soon - I wanted to be with someone for a while first, if I ever had children at all, but I'm running out of time on that front, too. And I'd love to travel, just not live out of a suitcase. Most of the women I'm running into are late 20's - early 30's (I'm early 30's). The underlying think I see with all of them, is that they want to date, but they don't want to compromise on anything. They want everything on their terms, and then get pissed when I won't bend over backwards for them. 1
dasein Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 OLD success is dependent on many factors including geography/culture, dating pool, local customs that differ from the broader culture, skill, how one fits into standard parameters. Same factors for women, but generally IMO women do get much more incoming mail and opportunities to date men within their parameters on OLD. I have no doubt that there are places and situations where average men do OK and other places where they don't. Also have no reason to doubt that the men who come here asking for advice about it and stating that they can't get anywhere with it are telling the truth. 2
Lonely Ronin Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Sean opry was rated a 5/10 on this site and was said to have bad eye spacing issues. I'm a guy, but his eyes do look weird in those two photos.
ThaWholigan Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Sean opry was rated a 5/10 on this site and was said to have bad eye spacing issues. http://www3.images.coolspotters.com/photos/517976/sean-opry-profile.jpg http://images.forbes.com/media/2009/06/26/sean-opry.jpg He's the number 1 ranked male model in the world. This is why I'm extremely skeptical when women on this site claim they're going after "average" men. It's not about average, not every "hot" guy is going to be hot to every woman, in fact, no guy is hot to every woman.
Lonely Ronin Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 So? His face isn't perfect and I'm not arguing that but he's certainly not a 5/10 or unattractive. Any girl who argues that he's unattractive/average probably see most men as burn victims. You just don't get it do you? Certain traits can be very off putting to some individuals.
ThaWholigan Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 So? His face isn't perfect and I'm not arguing that but he's certainly not a 5/10 or unattractive. Any girl who argues that he's unattractive/average probably see most men as burn victims. And many women really did say that: "I don't find any of those guys attractive! So yeah...looks are subjective." "though i thought the first or "most attractive" guy was weird looking" "The first guys' eyes are spaced too closely..... Just doesn't do it for me." "http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/S...vlwTFDFTzl.jpg 5" Yeah, but you are completely misinterpreting what it is they are actually saying. I get why you would think that actually, it's a pretty linear way to look at it, but it's not as straightforward as that. I take it to mean that women may find only 20% of men they meet attractive. But in my opinion, no woman's 20% is going to be the same as another woman's 20%. Some guys will have a better time because they are objectively attractive, this much is true and I cannot dispute it. However, to try to paint it as though there are like a handful of men on the planet who are solely attractive to women is disingenuous at best. No amount of fake profiles will prove anything actually.
TheBigQuestion Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Women have lower sex drives than men. For instance if you have sex with someone or even jerk off - about 15 minutes post sex you will be feeling tired, drained and mentally not that interested in banging again...IMHO this is the dominant sexual state of women....no wonder they find most men unattractive. Women are pickier than men. Much pickier. I don't see how you can dispute that. Speak for yourself. 15 minutes after sex, I'm usually ready for round two. 2
somedude81 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Speak for yourself. 15 minutes after sex, I'm usually ready for round two. 15 minutes later? Why wait so long? 3
TheBigQuestion Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 More on topic though, online dating is NOT uniform all around the world. There is no point in making generalizations about the relative successes and failures of each gender doing OLD. Your personal experience with it is no more or less valid than anyone else's. If it works for you, keep doing it. If it doesn't, do something else. Very simple. 1
suladas Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 15 minutes later? Why wait so long? 15 seconds for me at most..... 1
Lonely Ronin Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 And those individuals are typically women. I've never heard of a guy rating women a 5/10/unattractive/"does nothing for them" because they're eye spacing is .1 mm off. Men tend to focus on the good features a girl has. this pretty much shows you don't understand attraction. one person's 5 is another's 10. One person might require a certain eye color or spacing while another could care less about eyes. 1
somedude81 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 this pretty much shows you don't understand attraction. one person's 5 is another's 10. One person might require a certain eye color or spacing while another could care less about eyes. I really don't think that's the case at all. Within the same culture, standards of beauty for both genders are pretty similar. Do you believe that anybody is going to think that Kim Kardashian is a 5?
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I really don't think that's the case at all. Within the same culture, standards of beauty for both genders are pretty similar. Do you believe that anybody is going to think that Kim Kardashian is a 5? Believe it or not there are some people who don't find her attractive. I'm not one of those people, but they do exist...
somedude81 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Sorry for the previous double post. Believe it or not there are some people who don't find her attractive. I'm not one of those people, but they do exist... They're probably people of a different culture who have different standard of beauty. With that said, odds are the vast majority of western men think she's attractive.
iris219 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 They're probably people of a different culture who have different standard of beauty. With that said, odds are the vast majority of western men think she's attractive. I know quite a few guys who find nothing attractive about Kim. They feel this way for various reasons. Either they like blonds or thinner women or KK simply does nothing for them. I have guy friends who have said they are repulsed by her. I don't understand this at all, but it shows how subjective attraction is for people.
grkBoy Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I think it depends on the guy and the pool of women in his area. A smaller town or suburb full of average Joes with a pool of women all holding the bar very high will obviously end up claiming how they send out loads of emails with not even a reply. A big city with guys who are "above average" in some way will get results simply because there is a greater pool of women and thus more competition among those women for those particular men. I have always lived in Chicago. My attempts in online dating happened when I was in my early 30s. I sent out loads of emails to many women...most of whom were not "above average", and I think I landed one response (usually a rejection) for every 50 emails, and one date for every 100 or so emails. Now I could be ridiculed because I would not message single moms or fat women, but I wasn't prepared to go there just to date. In my opinion the women in my neck of the woods just seem to be constantly waiting for some big thing to come along that never arrives. Thus they see men like me as "backup plans" or "settling for less". I also tend to notice the bar suddenly gets lowered a bit when the girl is horribly "burned" by some jerk she gave her heart to, or when she's knocked up and abandoned. 3
Lonely Ronin Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I really don't think that's the case at all. Within the same culture, standards of beauty for both genders are pretty similar. in very general terms maybe. Just last week I was out shooting pool with friends and a woman came into the bar that got my attention. based on her appearance I put her at a 8.5-9 my buddy only saw her as a 5.5 - 6. This is a perfect example of how two members of the same sex who have a lot of things in common can have completely different tastes when it comes to the opposite sex. 2
mesmerized Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 It's not about average, not every "hot" guy is going to be hot to every woman, in fact, no guy is hot to every woman. True. That model guy has a feminine face, Im sure gay guys love him. I see guys hotter and more masculine than him every day.
ascendotum Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I know quite a few guys who find nothing attractive about Kim. They feel this way for various reasons. Either they like blonds or thinner women or KK simply does nothing for them. I have guy friends who have said they are repulsed by her. I don't understand this at all, but it shows how subjective attraction is for people. The number red blooded men who are repulsed by KK physically speaking has got to be so rare, really. I'm sure their repulsion is driven more by her being a no talent celebrity/fame whore. I agree not everyone is in agreement over what is 'hot', which is a great thing, but there is general consensus on attractiveness I believe. I think it is very unlikely that a guy at a party will be rated 5 by a number of women and also a 10 by a number of the women there. Plenty of models are not all that special for me and I certainly wont be staring & slack jawed over them, but I still realize they are pretty/attractive women, and I'd be happy to go out with them assuming there was personality behind the aloof look.
mesmerized Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I think it depends on the guy and the pool of women in his area. In my opinion the women in my neck of the woods just seem to be constantly waiting for some big thing to come along that never arrives. Thus they see men like me as "backup plans" or "settling for less". I also tend to notice the bar suddenly gets lowered a bit when the girl is horribly "burned" by some jerk she gave her heart to, or when she's knocked up and abandoned. what amazes me to no end is that you think men are any different. Maybe where you live men are all desperate. But in my experience there are a loot more men who don't settle until they land a highly attractive one than the opposite. 1
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