nat5 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 My ex bf broke up with me a month and a half ago. We had been together for 4.5 years living together for 2 years. Both 20. He couldnt give a real reason for the split. After we broke up he got with a girl a week after who was 17. She to had just come out of a relationship where her ex had cheated on her. He then came back and stupidly i let him walk straight back for two days later him to say it wasnt what he wanted. Last night i saw him by chance, he said it was the hardest day he had had and all day he had just wanted to see me. He said the girl he was with wasnt me, although he did like her. He said hes had to take time of work cos he cant cope. I then spoke to his mom and she said hes really messed up, she said he cant see me cos it confuses him, when he sees me he realises how much he still loves me. And he keeps saying how the new gf isnt me. and he needs to be with her to get over me. He could have me back and we could work on stuff but he wont he keeps saying he cant but he doesnt know why. He also become very angry and is lashing out. I know i should move on but its very hard, if he had fallen out of love with me i could understand or if we argued but we never did, we had a very loving relationship, not perfect but happy and still missed each other when we were apart. The morning we split up we had opened a joint savings account so we could start saving to move out, it was out the blue for me, i was so in love. So why if he still has such strong feelings for me which he says he does, he told his mom not me, can he just walk away and be with someone he hardly knows. We had been through a lot together and was there for each other alot. His mom has said hell never find what he had with you with anyone else, and that no one will ever love him in the way i did. And i know deep down he knows this too. This girl has told him she loves him theyve been together a month. Ive gone into no contact twice now and both times after two weeks hes made contact. So what i really want to know is he rebounding with this girl? will it last with this girl? and will he regret breaking up with someone who would have done anything for him. I know people will say move on, im starting to but its hard to walk away from someone you love and know still loves you but is running and hiding from something
taya Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 (edited) My ex bf broke up with me a month and a half ago. We had been together for 4.5 years living together for 2 years. Both 20. He couldnt give a real reason for the split. After we broke up he got with a girl a week after who was 17. She to had just come out of a relationship where her ex had cheated on her. He then came back and stupidly i let him walk straight back for two days later him to say it wasnt what he wanted. Last night i saw him by chance, he said it was the hardest day he had had and all day he had just wanted to see me. He said the girl he was with wasnt me, although he did like her. He said hes had to take time of work cos he cant cope. I then spoke to his mom and she said hes really messed up, she said he cant see me cos it confuses him, when he sees me he realises how much he still loves me. And he keeps saying how the new gf isnt me. and he needs to be with her to get over me. He could have me back and we could work on stuff but he wont he keeps saying he cant but he doesnt know why. He also become very angry and is lashing out. I know i should move on but its very hard, if he had fallen out of love with me i could understand or if we argued but we never did, we had a very loving relationship, not perfect but happy and still missed each other when we were apart. The morning we split up we had opened a joint savings account so we could start saving to move out, it was out the blue for me, i was so in love. So why if he still has such strong feelings for me which he says he does, he told his mom not me, can he just walk away and be with someone he hardly knows. We had been through a lot together and was there for each other alot. His mom has said hell never find what he had with you with anyone else, and that no one will ever love him in the way i did. And i know deep down he knows this too. This girl has told him she loves him theyve been together a month. Ive gone into no contact twice now and both times after two weeks hes made contact. So what i really want to know is he rebounding with this girl? will it last with this girl? and will he regret breaking up with someone who would have done anything for him. I know people will say move on, im starting to but its hard to walk away from someone you love and know still loves you but is running and hiding from something i know you know you have to move on but its easy said then done my question is do you really want to live the rest of your life like this haveing someone keep walking out then walk back in on you .leave you for someone eles then come back sorry but this guy dont love you if he did love you he would be with you now and not her ..girl think about it??and you say you love him but do you love him more then your self ???this guy seem like he will always play these games with you the reason why he keep playing its because you playing too AND THATS NOT LOVE YOU MAY LOVE HIM BUT I DONT THINK HE LOVES YOU Edited November 11, 2012 by taya
KatZee Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Sounds like he freaked. What I mean by this is that he's young. He's been with you almost 5 years since his teens. Now you were living together and opening joint bank accounts. That would freak ANY 22 year old male out. He doesn't have much to compare you to and he's coming into his own. He wants to explore. He wants to see what else is out there. Yes, he loves you but he thinks there's more out there that he's missing out on. GIGS: grass is greener syndrome. You need to let him go because if the all so knowledgeable Gibson would chime in--- he won't get out of this phase for years. You can't wait around to see if he'll want you when all is said and done, there's no guarantee he'll want you back and if/when he does-- you'll be so moved on and won't care. Don't let him break NC. He's only trying to relieve his own guilt while he goes on with this new girl. GIGS is confusing and that's why he's not really able to give you a clear reason why he can't be with you. He doesn't really know himself.
KatZee Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 i don't agree This is the most compelling argument I've seen to date.
Author nat5 Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 Its just so hard to let go when i know his feelings are still strong. When i saw him the other night he was so messed up he was angry and cried with everyone and i know i can help him but i cant cos he needs sort it himself. I just want to hope he will regret letting me go cos i gave him so much. I understand the whole being young thing i do, i just hope one day hell think i gave her up and i will regret that. I cant change the situtation, but its hard not to see him when he breaks the contact, but i break down and cry and say things about the girl he is with, thats not like me, but i dont know im scared i pushed him away the other night
taya Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Its just so hard to let go when i know his feelings are still strong. When i saw him the other night he was so messed up he was angry and cried with everyone and i know i can help him but i cant cos he needs sort it himself. I just want to hope he will regret letting me go cos i gave him so much. I understand the whole being young thing i do, i just hope one day hell think i gave her up and i will regret that. I cant change the situtation, but its hard not to see him when he breaks the contact, but i break down and cry and say things about the girl he is with, thats not like me, but i dont know im scared i pushed him away the other night i know how you feel i have had someone chose to be with someone eles and not me before but guess what by the end of the day if he wanted to be with you he would its not about him being young its about him choseing someone eles being with someone eles if he wanted you he would have chose you but no he chose another woman over you ..you can keep playing games with this guy ..time to wake up and you dident push him away he was already gone he chose her ..so move on and stop stressing your self out ...i want to make sure i get this right hes with another girl now right???
Author nat5 Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 yeh hes with her now. I know your right i think to myself if he really really loved me he would be with me. He was always so into me and i gave him everything. We planned things and its hard to lose the future too if that makes sense? They have been together a month, apart from a few days where he came back to me but then got back with her. She told him she loves him and im pretty sure he will have told her whether he really does or think that he does. Shes out of a relationship to and it just seems they are moving very quickly
taya Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 (edited) yeh hes with her now. I know your right i think to myself if he really really loved me he would be with me. He was always so into me and i gave him everything. We planned things and its hard to lose the future too if that makes sense? They have been together a month, apart from a few days where he came back to me but then got back with her. She told him she loves him and im pretty sure he will have told her whether he really does or think that he does. Shes out of a relationship to and it just seems they are moving very quickly wow just as i was thinking but hun you say,,,,,,,, We planned things and its hard to lose the future too if that makes sense? my question is WHAT future hes with another girl now maybe planing a future with her why are you doing this to your self,,,, when i had this happen to me it took me a few months to stop texting and bothering this guy hopeing he would pick me but i fianly got it in my head that he chose her and i let him go he too told me he wanted me and he knows he would be happy with me but by the end of the day he chose to be with someone eles ask your self if all that stuff he say that he loves you and wants you and saying she is not you and crying is ture THEN WHY IS HE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AT HE MOMENT ASK YOUR SELF THAT ?????? and you need to stop let him go back and fourt from you to her tell him your done your going to find a man that really wants you wouldent leave you for another woman you need to stop this now i learn my lession the hard way thats why i can tell you let go maybe him seeing you let him go that will make him leave her and come back to you but if he knows he can have both of you guys like what hes doing now this guy will be playing you for years ,,,is that what you want as a life????? Edited November 12, 2012 by taya
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