2sunny Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 The thing is - when a man asks me to date him - I find out enough info from one night of conversations to do a background check as soon as I'm home. For a small investment ($50) I find out if he's single or married....and much more! I don't INVEST MY ENERGY with men that intend to mislead me. Yes - MM lie ALOT! And hey also ask out women ALOT! Before I begin to get interested - I want PROOF they are AVAILABLE for me to consider dating! It may sound extreme - but I'm not going to waste any time or energy if they aren't single! Moving forward - learn from what has happened = enough to know you'll never make that same error again. There are things YOU CAN DO to prevent his - do those things that YOU CAN CONTROL!
Tenacity Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 The thing is - when a man asks me to date him - I find out enough info from one night of conversations to do a background check as soon as I'm home. For a small investment ($50) I find out if he's single or married....and much more! I don't INVEST MY ENERGY with men that intend to mislead me. Yes - MM lie ALOT! And hey also ask out women ALOT! Before I begin to get interested - I want PROOF they are AVAILABLE for me to consider dating! It may sound extreme - but I'm not going to waste any time or energy if they aren't single! Moving forward - learn from what has happened = enough to know you'll never make that same error again. There are things YOU CAN DO to prevent his - do those things that YOU CAN CONTROL! I don't think you are wrong at all. I just think that in some ways we are talking about apples and oranges. I have met men like you describe (in dating situations after my A ended). Many MM lie and will say and do anything they can to get some. In fact I dated a man twice just a few months ago who turned out to be married (I happened to run into him and his W in a store ) But the point I was trying to make - and that Ladydrib was trying to make too I believe - is that not all men are evil lying cheaters up front. Yes, it ended up that way, but doing a background check on my ex-MM would not have clued me into anything. I already knew he was married. The point is that he didn't lie to me to get into my pants, and he didn't lie to me at all in the beginning as to his feelings and intentions. So there was no way to tell, other than not to be stupid enough to have an A to start with. So yes, don't get involved with married men... I definitely get that.
mercy Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 I don't think you are wrong at all. I just think that in some ways we are talking about apples and oranges. I have met men like you describe (in dating situations after my A ended). Many MM lie and will say and do anything they can to get some. In fact I dated a man twice just a few months ago who turned out to be married (I happened to run into him and his W in a store ) But the point I was trying to make - and that Ladydrib was trying to make too I believe - is that not all men are evil lying cheaters up front. Yes, it ended up that way, but doing a background check on my ex-MM would not have clued me into anything. I already knew he was married. The point is that he didn't lie to me to get into my pants, and he didn't lie to me at all in the beginning as to his feelings and intentions. So there was no way to tell, other than not to be stupid enough to have an A to start with. So yes, don't get involved with married men... I definitely get that. My sister gets that now, too. But when you have someone whispering lies to you in your ear. What are you to believe? She loved him and believed the timeline till it came and the timeline changed. I don't look at her (or you) as stupid, though she does. It just saddens me that she had to go through it at all. Mistakes are lessons, when you learn from them. 1
2sunny Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Well, at this point I tend not to believe what people tell me until they show evidence that I can trust them. When someone EARNS my trust by their actions and words matching - then I believe them. When someone doesn't keep their word - I don't deal with them any longer = they are time wasters and energy suckers.
mercy Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Well, at this point I tend not to believe what people tell me until they show evidence that I can trust them. When someone EARNS my trust by their actions and words matching - then I believe them. When someone doesn't keep their word - I don't deal with them any longer = they are time wasters and energy suckers. When you know better you do better. 1
youdunsay Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 I got tricked into a relationship by him and he jumped back to her and now everyone thinks I'm a slut, a third party! The now gf tells trying to control all the social circle and maligned me!
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