irc333 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 OKAY, here's a great example of an experiment I'm about to conduct on "OK Cupid" This woman, in an answer to the, "I spend most of my time thinking about" She stated, "..thinking about how to use the 3 sea shells, and if you know what I'm talking about I'd LOVE to hear from you" It was a movie reference I picked up pretty quickly, being a movie buff that I am. I'm sure some of you might know what movie that might be referencing. LOL So I MADE it my icebreaker in my introductory email, made a few additional quips/references to the same film in just an equally cryptic way. Such an intro email would probably warrant a response. In the past, I had some women do something similar in her profile, answered some obscure reference where she ended the paragraph with, "....if you know what I'm referring to, I'd like to talk more!" Only to never respond anyhow. SHould be, "If you can guess guess the movie quote, you definitely win points with me!" Only to never respond Men, ever thought you had a "shoe in" when a woman would post a question in a dating profile, and perhaps you were the only few who actually was able to answer it correctly, only to never have her respond? lol
mysteryscape Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 tell us about the 3 sea shells, their use, the movie. Even if she's not interested in your knowledge, we are!
MrCastle Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Preface anything you read with "if I find you hot" 8
Anela Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 (edited) I responded to just about everyone who messaged me, whether I found them hot or not. I responded to several last night. One guy asked me a question, I answered it, and then asked him a question of my own. *edit. Oh, but wait: I'm a fringe freak female, so I don't count. Edited November 11, 2012 by Anela
FitChick Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I responded to just about everyone who messaged me, whether I found them hot or not. I responded to several last night, before shutting down my account. One guy asked me a question, I answered it, and then asked him a question of my own. *edit. Oh, but wait: I'm a fringe freak female, so I don't count. Why did you bother if you closed your account?
Anela Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Why did you bother if you closed your account? Because I let a couple of them know that I might get back to them if they were still around when I reopened it. I'm not in the right head-space to deal with meeting anyone, but I didn't want them to feel bad. Others were ongoing conversations that I wanted to close out on, or just answering a few questions. I wondered if another guy was from here as a lurker. He asked me a question that had nothing to do with anything on my profile, as if he knew something about me - so I just gave a quick response that included no details whatsoever, and asked him about something that I was curious about.
Janesays Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I had one of those questions in my dating profile back in the day. You may have been one of the few that actually KNEW the answer, but I'm telling you that almost EVERYONE who messaged me had at least googled it first. Made me wish I never put it in there. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Yeah women don't really care if you get their references in their profiles. 3 seashells, your interest in the same football team, your affinity for public choice theory, the same obscure book you've read, etc. Those things are nice, but only as a secondary quality. They filter you out on other things first. I've written to many women like you have described here. Only to very very rarely get a response.
ThaWholigan Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I had one of those questions in my dating profile back in the day. You may have been one of the few that actually KNEW the answer, but I'm telling you that almost EVERYONE who messaged me had at least googled it first. Made me wish I never put it in there. Yeah, that renders those particular icebreakers pretty useless in terms of compatibility primarily because of google, which is unfortunate. Surprisingly, girls have done this to me online .
IT Geek Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Preface anything you read with "if I find you hot" Absolutely. I'm about a 3-4 on the 1-10 looks scale and never any emails or replies to emails I send out.
Sanman Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Maybe you're not the only guy on OKC to have seen Demolition Man and you got beaten to the punch. 1
Author irc333 Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 (edited) I didn't Google this particular one, but hey, at least they made an effort to RESEARCH it, am I right? I actually had some woman say, "Type the word 'Lemon' in your message to me so I know that you've read my profile. I've done THAT too, only to be ignored. Women are making men jump through hoops now, giving commands to ensure you've read their profile, and when you type the world "Lemon", you STILL get ignored. It makes me wonder if THEY are even for real about getting to know someone. Anyhow an update on that woman who gave the "obscure reference", she viewed my profile, but never responded...of course. lol I had one of those questions in my dating profile back in the day. You may have been one of the few that actually KNEW the answer, but I'm telling you that almost EVERYONE who messaged me had at least googled it first. Made me wish I never put it in there. I've written to many women like you have described here. Only to very very rarely get a response. Yeah, that's when I usually call them on it....about a week later, I say, "So what's your deal, getting men to type in "Lemon" in your profile, only to never respond anyways?" Edited November 12, 2012 by irc333
DC4 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Men do all these things as well, you know. I am pretty convinced OLD sucks and I'm pretty sure I'll never do it again. It's like trying to order off of Amazon and having Amazon totally ignore your order without explanation
phineas Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Maybe you're not the only guy on OKC to have seen Demolition Man and you got beaten to the punch. I usually assume this & assume the woman put this in her profile to generate more messages thinking all these men will be thinking like OP. I've seen the same thing on OKcupid. The most obscure was if your a "Brown coat at heart" an obscure reference to the series Firefly & the movie serenity.
Author irc333 Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 I usually assume this & assume the woman put this in her profile to generate more messages thinking all these men will be thinking like OP. I've seen the same thing on OKcupid. The most obscure was if your a "Brown coat at heart" an obscure reference to the series Firefly & the movie serenity. Bingo! I liked that series and get the reference, and for every comic book loving, Sci-fi woman on OK Cupid, even with "BAZINGA!" T-shirt as her main profile pic. I would even try to engage them in conversation about "Who is your favorite character on the BIG BAND THEORY" or "Who is your favorite brown coat"? You can't even bait them to give you an answer either. Stick to the conventions and hit on women there. LOL
Anela Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Bingo! I liked that series and get the reference, and for every comic book loving, Sci-fi woman on OK Cupid, even with "BAZINGA!" T-shirt as her main profile pic. I would even try to engage them in conversation about "Who is your favorite character on the BIG BAND THEORY" or "Who is your favorite brown coat"? You can't even bait them to give you an answer either. Stick to the conventions and hit on women there. LOL The guy who asked me a question, asked me why I was so sad. I hadn't said anything about that in my profile, so I thought he might have been a lurker here. He had a picture of an animal in his profile, so I asked him about that. I wasn't going to meet him, but I wondered why he chose that animal in particular.
Imajerk17 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 (edited) irc, every time women keep ignoring your "perfect" emails, you attribute it to them being crazy. Did it ever occur to you to consider that the issue might be with YOUR PROFILE? A larger statement could be made about your threads in general. Every time a woman has her walls up to you, in your narrative it's always HER. Did you ever consider that part of it might be YOU? Or maybe you just like coming on here and complaining. Some people really are happier when it rains... Edited November 12, 2012 by Imajerk17 2
Anela Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Yet she made an account on a dating site...leading to who knows how many assumptions that she was actually available to date. When I made the account, I thought I was ready. I wasn't. I also changed my settings to looking for friends, after a while. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, I was just looking to get to know people. I deactivated, because once again, I am feeling that I'm not in the right frame of mind to meet anyone - and I'm not meeting them just as much for THEIR OWN benefit, as mine. They might like me, but I wouldn't want to use them for attention, and I'm not able to handle rejection or dish it out right now (unless you're a turd to me, sort of like you're being right now).
Crila16 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 Yeah. I'm not good with the online dating. If you're wondering why she didn't respond, it's because she's not really committed to online dating and while it's fun to look, and get emails...the actual responding and get to know is sometimes too scary.
dasein Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 This is another example of why people doing OLD should respond to thoughtful emails, even if negatively. OP gets no response and he has no idea whether the email has even been read. If he got a rejection, he might be able to learn more... Ignore any requests for this kind of commonality in women's profiles. It's a trap, not a willful trap, but a de facto trap. Go in a similar but different direction because every other guy out there will be trying to please the woman by rising to the treat she has seemed to hold up with these types of profile quizzes "Ooh ooh I have the answer!" A better way to go is to quiz her on something marginally related in your email than to respond to her quiz.
xxoo Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 irc, if this is happening repeated, you contacting women who you have so much in common with and they just ignore you.....what do you think is the issue? Why isn't your profile making them want to know more about you? What's the problem? (I guarantee these women are returning someone's emails...)
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 irc, if this is happening repeated, you contacting women who you have so much in common with and they just ignore you.....what do you think is the issue? Why isn't your profile making them want to know more about you? What's the problem? (I guarantee these women are returning someone's emails...) A great deal of women are on dating sites with no intention of actually dating. It's the same with many men on those sites too. Many are on just to broaden their (already large) pool of available prospects. The OP doesn't sound like somebody who gets a lot of dates in general, which is not the ideal candidate for OLD.
grkBoy Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I dunno. I'm still of the mind when it comes to OLD, no matter what possible interests/things/etc you two might share... ...she's still looking for a guy who makes her panties wet when she reads the profile and looks at the pics. Doesn't even mean you have to be 6 feet tall, athletic, full head of hair, and looking like you make a lot of money. It means you have to be whatever "type" she's designated in her mind as "ideal potential". Could be some skinny hipster who wears skinny jeans and has a shaggy head of hair. @Anela: I think you should not bother with dating sites. Take a break from that world and try meetup or something that isn't about dating. Yes, they have the "here for friends" choice in OLD, but it's garbage. 99.9% of the men in OLD want a girlfriend and/or sex partner. If they email you in a "friendly" way, I'm pretty sure they're somehow hoping to nudge you into dating. 1
phineas Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 irc, every time women keep ignoring your "perfect" emails, you attribute it to them being crazy. Did it ever occur to you to consider that the issue might be with YOUR PROFILE? A larger statement could be made about your threads in general. Every time a woman has her walls up to you, in your narrative it's always HER. Did you ever consider that part of it might be YOU? Or maybe you just like coming on here and complaining. Some people really are happier when it rains... I just assume it's an issue with me not being: tall enough, rich enough, hot enough. LOL!
Author irc333 Posted November 13, 2012 Author Posted November 13, 2012 A great deal of women are on dating sites with no intention of actually dating. VERY good point....the reason I agree on this quote, is because the women that I had success with getting a response from, then getting them into a back and forth emails a few times, great conversation, etc. Contrary to popular belief, I have had success in getting some responses lately, but they never follow through. When it comes to asking her to meet in PERSON, the excuses start to come. "I'm not ready yet", "I have a research paper to finish", "My daughter has a slumber party I have to supervise" They prefer an online pen-pal more so than a date. Some even delete their profile.
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