rob1984 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 okay, so i've known my wife for 7 years now and married for a few, we had our difficulties and she has warned me about them in the past. Mostly about intimacy simple making out. I had my mind elsewhere, thinking about our future, house and to improve our income and not on the relationship. I'm the kind of person that trusts people very easily, not sure if that's a good thing or not. and long story short i feel he took advantage of her unhappiness and invited her over,flirted with him at work and it led to this as well, and she knew what she was doing ,i knew she was going but I'm not one to control anyone and trusted her, she was seeing a friend. Well she ended up making out with him and he made it to second base. She is very regretful now and i know she wishes she had not done it. I know i still love her and want to make it work but its hard to look at someone that you trusted through out your marriage. I suggested a break from each other, even maybe see other people and see if we come back to each other. I feel if i let this slide, it shows that i am a weak person and it was basically a free pass to do it again. We have no kids and not much tied up regarding finances.. what do you think would be the best way to preserve this?
Author rob1984 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 i need something here, people have opinions on dating while farting and not for something like this.
21flames Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 If you really love her and want to be with her and see a future together, try and fix things, go to counselling, do what you have to to make a real go of it if you think you will one day be able to trust her again and you believe you can work through your problems. If you don't.....well you know the answer to that one.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 you got a wake up call that she wasn't happy. But her remorse reveals a desire to work it out. Nothing can fix this. You two have to talk, maybe fight, maybe get professional help (in that order) if you're both committed but the one saving grace is that you are taking some responsibility for shorting her on intimacy. That makes a difference than just being cheated on. If you want to get over it WITH her and she with you, it can be done. You have to work harder. Good luck.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 You don't have to get over it, you don't have to trust her. It is 1000% up to her to put the work in, to fix this. It wasn't broken before, she broke it, she has to fix it. You wouldn't have trust/anger issues if she didn't cheat. NOTHING you did justifies her cheating, you didn't: hurt, cheat on, abuse her in any way. If you take her back, what will you be thinking when she doesn't answer phone calls/texts, when she's not on time coming home from work, when she disappears for a while running a short errand? This mistrust/jealousy is due to her actions. Let her know that it will be an uphill battle between you two, and trusting her will take a lot of time. Let her know that she has a lot of work to due to rebuild the trust she shat on. You're going to have questions/doubts for a long time, she must fully understand what she's getting into. What you're getting yourself into is a huge ordeal. Trust me when I say this, you at one point (or several) will regret trying again and wish you just left the first time around. The relationship will be altered forever and the thought "she cheated" will NEVER leave you. You've been warned.
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