Depressed boyfriend dumped me

[catluvr2]

I just got out of a 2 and a half year relationship. Just these couple months it's been long distant (boyfriend 3 hours away at college doing computer science). A couple days ago he called me up and decided to end the relationship because he's been battling some inner demons and having stress with schoolwork and saying that lack of communication wasn't feeling much of a relationship. I told him that I understand if he can't contact me everyday because of school. I was never bitchy at him, I was always there for him, and was never clingy. I can't help but think of what have I done, what should I have done to prevent him from breaking up with me. It wasn't helping that I haven't seen him in 3 months and I keep thinking I should have come up to visit him at least once a month to keep the relationship going but he's had no time during the weekend. This is my longest relationship so it's been hard but what helps is that we are staying best friends. I am also realizing that I deserve better in a relationship. I noticed him change and being depressed couple months before leaving for school. I can't do anything but still be there for him as a best friend. Anybody that had a depressed significant other, is it normal for them to just push people they love away? I just feel so awful because I was so excited to see him in 2 weeks for thanksgiving break =/

Edited November 11, 2012 by catluvr2

[River Rain]

I can speak as the depressed person. I personally had the realization that I wouldn't be able to give my all in a relationship, so I avoided dating for many years until I felt like I could manage things. I don't think it's so much him pushing you away, as him protecting himself in the healing process. When a person is depressed, and say you two get into an argument...it's not just an argument, it can cause a spiral downward and the emotional stress is intense. Also being so far apart may be causing him extra stress too and he can't handle the distance. If you're going to remain best friends and stick by him, I would say be supportive, don't try to offer suggestions to "fix" him, and be a good listener. Visiting him might be a good idea too. If he's getting help, then maybe down the line he'll feel stronger and will be able to handle a relationship with you again. I think it really takes a strong person to realize when the depression is taking over. Most people will cling to their SO's and treat them like therapists, and eventually that pushes them away.

[crude]

If he's away at school, he might have another girl there.

[Phanpooh]

He was depressed cause he didn't know how to dump you. If he is depressed person, he would run away where noone could find him, not just dump u. Believe me, who have dealed with depressing period every year.

If he love u truly, he would never let u a chance being market. He clearly knew u and sure about everything. And when he get a chance to come back to the game, he decided to dump u. Remember, that was his deal, accept it and u can see, u r the last person in this world who would make him feel better

[catluvr2]

If he's away at school, he might have another girl there.

 

um no he doesn't I actually asked him that

[robaday]

Ive done it when depressed. Coping with your own problems and having responsibility of a relationship on top is really dificult. Still get overwhelmed really easily.

 

Hes probably done the right thing if hes far away, and unhappy. Being away may have given him time to really question the relationship. Basically, he doesnt feel he can give you what you want.Fact hes keeping in touch means he probably does care a lot about you.

 

Could be a break until he sorts himself out. I broke up with my after a year because I was battling too many demons. We stayed in touch while we were apart, and I really fixed myself. When we got back together it was amazing......at least for a year then she broke up with me!