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ForeverlovingRami

By ForeverlovingRami
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ForeverlovingRami Member

ForeverlovingRami

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Ok so heres the deal... We broke up 2½ weeks ago to take a break, to heal and to see if there was anything left.. Atleast that's what I wanted..I've gone NC and haven't really botherd to contact her at all... Now shes SMSing me, asking about my new job and how im doing?

 

What should I do? Respond or?

 

Cuz she kinda froze me out to a beginning now shes prolly missing me alot.

 

Guess shes looking for some kind of confermantion..

 

Really need some fast respons here, cuz yes, I miss her ALOT I think about her almost every day but been hard on the NC part and it seems to be working.

 

Please, someone! :D

coffeebean201 Established Member

coffeebean201

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Sounds like you wanted the break up....so are your original concerns fixed?

 

Your best friendship with her is obviously still there.

 

It is a matter of whether the relationship problems got sorted out.

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ForeverlovingRami Member

ForeverlovingRami

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Well it was both sided, but I thought it was the only solution left we tryed everything... But now I miss her and I regret the things I've done and she knows that I'm sorry for hurting her feelings. But doubt shes got time enough to heal or rethink what she really wants... I'd take her back anyday but dunno what to do here, feels abit early. But don't wanna b a jerk and not answer!

River Rain Established Member

River Rain

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If you feel like you're going to be a jerk not answering, then answer. "Too soon" is subjective, remember. Some people get over the hurt much quicker than others. If it goes badly, then you'll both be starting all over again, so be prepared for that. Personally, I would never ignore my ex if he reached out to me, even though I know things are over with us.

puzzled1 Established Member

puzzled1

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I would say something like, Hey, I've been okay, just been really busy with everything. That way she could lay off you until later.

 

If you are not trying to get back together, I would not respond and stay NC.

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ForeverlovingRami Member

ForeverlovingRami

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Yeah ure right, well I know she wants me just as bad as I want her.. And we wanna start fresh, so maybe I shud start it light and she where it takes us. Was planning on goin out for a drink with her sometime soon anyways...

Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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Yeah ure right, well I know she wants me just as bad as I want her.. And we wanna start fresh, so maybe I shud start it light and she where it takes us. Was planning on goin out for a drink with her sometime soon anyways...

 

You could never start off fresh if you two know each other well. it doesnt work that way. No matter how slow you take it, you will fall back into your routine eventually. Unless one of you changes, you will be back here again. You cant un-know someone after a couple weeks. If you got back together after a couple years, maybe. taking a break isnt going to do anything if the offender dosnt change.

 

Since she started seeing someone else halfway through this break, and is now wondering where you are, its because she thinks that you dont need her anymore and she is testing the waters. maybe the rebound didnt work out. But I checked your posts and you didnt mention the actual problem that you guys cant get past. What is it?

Edited by Eddie Edirol
Sasu Established Member

Sasu

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Agreed, Its generally said that couple should start things fresh after a breakup and put the previous relation to rest.But it doesn't work like that ..atleast not for me..Only thing you can do is restore the previous relation by fixing underlying issues..think about what went wrong actually in first place...

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ForeverlovingRami Member

ForeverlovingRami

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Well then maybe this could be a solution.. The problem was that I was smoking way 2 much weed and diden't really care about anything else then the struggle.. I've been sober from 3 mounths now and I've changed alot comparing to how I was back then... So maybe theres a chans, she gets to know the sober version of me instead of the non-caring douch I was .... :o

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Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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Well then maybe this could be a solution.. The problem was that I was smoking way 2 much weed and diden't really care about anything else then the struggle.. I've been sober from 3 mounths now and I've changed alot comparing to how I was back then... So maybe theres a chans, she gets to know the sober version of me instead of the non-caring douch I was .... :o

But if you were sober 3 months ago, and you only broke up 2 weeks ago, how is the weed a problem? How did you not change within the 2 months and 2 weeks?

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ForeverlovingRami Member

ForeverlovingRami

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But if you were sober 3 months ago, and you only broke up 2 weeks ago, how is the weed a problem? How did you not change within the 2 months and 2 weeks?

 

We broke up 2½ weeks ago but diden't really see eachother for the past 7½ weeks.. Just some chit chat here and there, I was working alot and she was out with friends.. Guess I've grown alot during thoose 2 mounth's that I've been sober. Both emotionally and mentally, sounds abit weird I know but I was really cold and had problems with trust and such.

 

Now I'm different and I'm "changeing" more and more for everyday.. I've done drugs for 10 years man, It's a big difference only on thoose few mounths and It's just getting better. I tend to exercise alot and got a new job so things are going in the right way! :)

 

Guess she suffered a downfall during the time she was trying to brake my wall and when I finally "woke" up and started to realise what was really going and got in contact with my emotions and so on, it was too late.. So we seperated after 7 weeks of trying to fix the relationship.

Edited by ForeverlovingRami
Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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Oh well in that case give it a shot. If you think you changed and grew enough to make a difference that she will like, and you wont relapse, see if she's game - especially if she is looking for you. But be cautious. Dont assume she is ready to go just because of what she says. She started shopping before assume she is still shopping and you are one of many guys she is looking at and considering. Maybe you can start fresh, from the beginning.

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ForeverlovingRami Member

ForeverlovingRami

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Oh well in that case give it a shot. If you think you changed and grew enough to make a difference that she will like, and you wont relapse, see if she's game - especially if she is looking for you. But be cautious. Dont assume she is ready to go just because of what she says. She started shopping before assume she is still shopping and you are one of many guys she is looking at and considering. Maybe you can start fresh, from the beginning.

 

Excellent, that is exactly what I've been thinkin. I'm gonna take baby steps with her, but honestly think we can go in a different and right direction this time. Thanks alot for the fast support, I love this forum :):cool:

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