datingtard Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Hello to all the good guys and girls here. So i met this girl online who is 2 years older than me. I am 24. And we chatted for 2 days now. She is into all the stuffs that are related to my culture. Her responses were great. She showed a lot of interests. I gave her my phone number and she gave me hers. And later on I added her on FB. However I stopped talking to her for 2 days..and then she texted me saying "Are you not going to text me anymore?" Then I replied to her saying that I was sick. And so she acknowledged my reason. In her text ,she thought I wasn't interested in her anymore. Do you think she is desperate? I just wanna be friends with her. Cause she was also for friendship dating and activities. So my question is what should i do to be friends with her and not really date her into that romantic kind of stuffs? any advice? thanks.
coffeebean201 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I wouldn't try to control the situation too much, or judge her. You disappeared for a couple days and she missed you. Doesn't mean she is desperate. Try doing what feels natural and see what happens. Maybe you will be just friends and maybe you will date. Either way she sounds like a great contact for you since you are looking for people who share your culture. If you are on the friends-track with her, then casually mention that you are seeing other people, but still haven't found the right one. So you both are at the same emotional level.
River Rain Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 She's not desperate, she probably likes you and was just wondering why you ignored her for 2 days. If you only want to be friends, tell her that, because if she feels more for you and you string her along, she'll be hurt and there will be no chance at friendship.
Author datingtard Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 ok...so we met and had some drinks together.. She didn't seem to be as mature as I had thought.. Gosh...it's so hard for me to react to what she says. She couldn't make eye contact with me most of the time.. to say it simply.. I just wished she was more feminine and have more self esteem.... She told me that it was ok if I wasn't interested in her.. and she said we could just be friends otherwise. She also said I kinda look nice.. Honestly, I wished she wasn't that shy...and she had a few piercings.. but I would liked her much more if she wore makeup earings instead She's 26 and divorced with a kid. While I am 24, never really dated anyone let alone any sexual experience.. I don't really know if my intentions like, getting laid are in sync with what i want (someone I like, with attraction). Should I even think about getting her into bed just for it. I don't really want to regret later. What do you guys think?Thanks.
River Rain Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 ok...so we met and had some drinks together.. She didn't seem to be as mature as I had thought.. Gosh...it's so hard for me to react to what she says. She couldn't make eye contact with me most of the time.. to say it simply.. I just wished she was more feminine and have more self esteem.... She told me that it was ok if I wasn't interested in her.. and she said we could just be friends otherwise. She also said I kinda look nice.. Honestly, I wished she wasn't that shy...and she had a few piercings.. but I would liked her much more if she wore makeup earings instead She's 26 and divorced with a kid. While I am 24, never really dated anyone let alone any sexual experience.. I don't really know if my intentions like, getting laid are in sync with what i want (someone I like, with attraction). Should I even think about getting her into bed just for it. I don't really want to regret later. What do you guys think?Thanks. If she's as insecure as she seems, then jumping into bed with her will probably make her feel more attached to you, and then eventually because you just don't really have interest, you'll hurt her, do you want to do that? If you want sex with someone who you like and are attracted to, then keep looking, keep to your standards. 1
Author datingtard Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 I know what you mean... ok.. the truth is i don't know how far is she's willing to go..but i guess i will find that out.. I don't plan to commit long term.. I think i will just let her know about it and see how we will take it from there. Like what you said, I don't wanna be selfish and take advantage but it would be nice if we knew where we stood and figured if we would both be fine with it... I will have to find the words somehow...heheh
River Rain Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 I know what you mean... ok.. the truth is i don't know how far is she's willing to go..but i guess i will find that out.. I don't plan to commit long term.. I think i will just let her know about it and see how we will take it from there. Like what you said, I don't wanna be selfish and take advantage but it would be nice if we knew where we stood and figured if we would both be fine with it... I will have to find the words somehow...heheh I'm not against casual dating, it's not for me, but I think if people are very honest with each other, and won't feel any kind of emptiness after, then why not? The words..."I'm not looking for a girlfriend, but would like to have a sex, is that something you'd be interested in?" - can't beat directness!
Author datingtard Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 So I invited her to dinner yesterday. She talked about her past relationships and was interested in my mine too. Mine was non-existent lol...but i didn't give any reasons though. After dinner, she agreed to come over to my place. And I poured us some liquor, chilled out a little. Later on she told me a few things. She thought that I wasn't interested in her anymore. She also told me that she was unsure whether we were just being ordinary friends or that I would treat her as a girlfriend. I asked if she was seeing somebody and she said shes available. Then she went home..lol.. That's the summary. here's what i think... I just want casual. If I ask her for sex only, then I will see myself as being 'a low grade person'. But if she asks for a sexual relationship and nothing more, then it will be perfectly fine with me. So we will just talk about our wants. I hate to be direct though...
ja123 Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 If I were a guy, I wouldn't even go near this chick just for sex. She's way too insecure and needy ... she's going to bring drama into your life, man. Run!
Author datingtard Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 (edited) We continued to text each other over the phone... And we mentioned about sex. At first, she asked what was my impression about her, whether it was just friends, relationships or sex.. Well, she likes to beat around the bush. At one time, she texted me saying : "We could be more than friends, and do things that boyfriends and girlfriends do(you know what i mean)." She said to me she isn't against sex or anything. And she also said she is more off a romantic kind and that she would like to have a relationship with me for the next few months until I graduate from uni. Because after my graduation, i wouldn't be around. Isn't that saying she wants me to be exclusive, because she mentioned that specifically. Why does she even have to specify a time frame that seemed to be 'contractually bound' ALTHOUGH she did mention that she wouldn't force that on me....LOL.... I don't know what to do.. Maybe I will just be friends with her.. thats all... Gosh I don't it to be so complicated... Any thoughts? thanks. Edited November 22, 2012 by datingtard
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