kourix Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 i'm sorry this is so long, but i'm just trying to explain the situation so it needs to be :/ my friend jane met an exchange student, simon, in school. a few weeks back, simon's two best friends came to visit. jane wanted us (group of girls) to meet them, and showed us their pictures. both mary and i remarked that one of them, jeff, was cute, and jane kinda cut me off and told mary, "oh yes, when i met jeff, i thought you two would be very suitable!" well that put me in my place… haha. we were supposed to meet them the next day, but i was unwell so i didn't meet them. after they met, i was told that mary and jeff hit it off and i was happy for them. during the weekend (friday), they wanted to party with us, so jane brought them out. mary wasn't there on friday, she was meeting another guy she liked. so the rest of us met up, jeff included. initially i already thought he was cute, so naturally i avoided him (chicks before dicks!). the night went on, we clubbed, and they had a hotel 5mins from the club, so halfway through, we got bored and decided to go back to their hotel to have a drink before resuming clubbing. at this point, i was pretty tipsy and i either get 1)super hyper or 2)super sleepy when i'm tipsy. if i can't dance, i'm gonna sleep. so we went back, at first i was jumping around, then i got bored, and started getting sleepy. i lay down on the bed, turns out it was jeff's bed. while he was in the toilet, his friends told me he liked me, which was weird because i didn't speak to him that night! so i figured "ah, he probably only likes me now coz' mary isn't here." i thought nothing of it. after awhile, he came into bed and started holding me. i was tipsy and i thought he was cute, so i didn't really mind, but i did not make out with him or let him into my pants. i told, okay if you wanna cuddle, i love cuddles, so fine. so there's that. after that, we went back to the club for a bit (all of us), and ended up back in their hotel again. i admit, i was pretty lazy to go home, their beds sounded good, we wanted to swim in the pool in the morning, and of course, he's cute and i wanted to cuddle. so that's what we did. he tried going further but i wasn't interested. so we all fell asleep. my friend and i woke in the morning and after talking to them for a little while, we left. that night, we had a halloween party we were all invited to. mary was going to be there too, and honestly i kinda felt like a b**ch. although nothing major happened, i felt bad that we even cuddled and he tried to get into my pants. but i didn't tell her. i just opted to avoid him that night. anyway i figured, well she's back in the picture, so he probably would wanna go back to her anyways! mary, on the other hand, had heard that something went on (from one of my girlfriends), though she wasn't sure what exactly, so she was wary of him. she didn't want to talk to him either. so both of us were avoiding him, and needless to say, he had a ****ty night and you could see it on his face. we ended up in the club, and back at their hotel (all 4 of us girls and 3 of them guys), and jeff's friend, simon, told me this after jeff fell asleep: "he likes you, not mary. he wasn't trying to take advantage of you. he just thought you were nice, smart and good looking. it's just that he didn't get to meet you first, and jane was so set on matchmaking them… he doesn't like mary" so then i felt really bad for not talking to him the whole night (though i did ask him why he looked so sad in the club). so when we left the next morning, i messaged him, telling him i hope he was feeling better and i was sorry we didn't get to speak much the previous night and if i didn't get the chance to see them again, i hope at least that he enjoyed his time here and to have a safe flight home. funnily enough, right when i sent that message, they asked us for lunch, and we joined them. i was so embarrassed and i told him privately that i actually sent him a message because i thought it'd be the last i saw of him. i had to leave for a movie, so he laughed and said he'd read it in the room where he had an internet connection. that evening, he replied, saying he was feeling better and that they were heading out for a drink, and it'd be nice if i joined them. i was with my ex - he broke his foot and i still care about him, thus spending the day with him so he doesn't get bored - but i did want to see jeff, after all he was leaving… it took me awhile to decide, but then i decided to meet them after all. this was after midnight when i made my decision, and they were in the hotel room watching a movie (too lazy to go for drinks) and asked me to join them. none of my gfs could make it, so it was just me and the two of them - jeff and mark. so after midnight, i left my ex's place and went back to the hotel. when they saw me, they were quite surprised that iw as in the same outfit from lunch. they asked me where i had been, so i told them "oh just a movie" and immediately mark says, "oh, so on a date?" now i'm a very bad liar, but technically this wasn't a date - so i said no, not a date. but mark sensed something amiss and said "your reply was funny…." silence, and then "i guess i shouldn't ask anymore.". this just made things more awkward especially since jeff was right beside me. no matter. i tried to ignore it, and climbed into jeff's bed to watch the movie. at this point, i'm so tired, i'd been getting less than 4 hours of sleep the whole weekend, and so i was falling asleep. naturally, jeff tried getting in my pants again, but come on, mark was there, and i don't do ONS, so i rejected him. we did make out a little though. it was really weird though coz' mark was right beside us on the other bed the whole time. anyway, jeff got the hint after awhile and we fell asleep. i woke up in the middle of the night, and left, because i couldn't tolerate their snoring. i didn't wake him up though, he was in such a deep sleep and i didn't want to be rude. instead, i messaged him in the morning, telling him i'd left because i had work (it was monday). and i thought well that was awkward, and that's that. unfortunately, i left my watch in their hotel room, which meant that i had to meet them again. so i met them after work, had dinner with them, and sent them off. at first, it was really awkward, i mean, i went to this guy's hotel room and essentially fell asleep, but after we started talking, it wasn't so bad. before he left, i gave him a peck on the cheek and he said he'd keep in touch and tell me more about italy (he studied there and i was planning a trip and asking him about it over lunch and dinner). i thought we left on a good note. however, when he went back, i got no messages from him. i was quite confused so i asked his friend who's still here, simon. i felt like the victim, i thought we had a connection, and i'm not saying i'm planning to marry him, but we made out, i took time out to actually go see him etc. however, according to simon - jeff felt i was only there at the hotel because i wanted to sleep in the hotel. jeff told simon that he knew i was on a date before going to meet him, and he really felt used. like, he was here on vacation and i used him! which to me, is totally ridiculous! i mean, after some reflection, i get how jeff could be feeling like "WTF", since you know, i went to his room and didn't have sex with him or even make out much. instead, i fell asleep. but honestly, i was really tired, BUT i liked him and wanted to spend time with him. it was just that circumstances made everything awkward, his friend was there all the time beside us, we didn't have time alone ever, i was under the impression half the time that he was interested in someone else (mary), etc etc. but anyway, i think simon did ask him why he didn't message me, so in the end, a few days later he ended up messaging me, asking how i was and what plans i had. after i replied and asked him what plans he had, he told them to me and was like "anyway talk to you later!" which made me feel pretty ****ty. and the thing is, simon actually told my friend about what jeff said to him and told her to tell me - you know, that jeff felt like he was being used etc. so now i feel kinda bad but i'm not sure if i should explain myself to him? i know it's stupid, we might never even see each other again, but i did like him, and i don't want him to think i was using him - that's not even close to the truth. and simon kept telling me that jeff was not a player etc etc., but did i really like him or was just using him? and i was so offended. on the other hand, i asked a guy friend's opinion and he said it sounded like jeff's ego was hurt coz' i wouldn't sleep with him and i shouldn't bother explaining coz' he wouldn't care. he was just pissed i wouldn't have sex and whatever else he said to simon is just to pretend he's a good guy. he was never interested in me beyond sex. but i'm just wondering why he would tell simon that he was sure i was on a date and felt used if he didn't care? he could have just brushed it off, and he didn't need to message me ever again. and simon made sure to tell my friend to tell me the reasons why jeff was upset. however, in his message to me, jeff seemed normal… he never brought it up. i know this is really long, and pretty immature, but it'll be nice if anyone could perhaps advise me on whether i should be explaining myself or just forgetting it? i do/did like the guy, and yeah i may never see him again, but i feel bad. am i just thinking too much and should just forget it though, like my guy friend said? i get that i was not acting very nicely, but i am just super awkward + circumstances just made things worse. i might never see him again, but i might too - i'm planning a europe trip and he might come back for another vacation, so i don't want things to be weird between us. i mean, how often do you find someone you're mutually attracted to? plus he's funny, cute and smart.
coffeebean201 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Hey, I read just over 1/2 and then it was just so long to read! Anyways - here's what I got from it: 1. Jeff likes you - in all ways. 2. Jeff got hurt when he thought you had been on a date. Men have a radar for this and he won't tolerate you misleading him at all about another man (your ex). Jeff sounds like a great guy. Definitely worth keeping the connection going. But you have to sort out what you were doing that day before you met him at the hotel room after midnight. He won't relax until you tell him the truth.
sweetkiwi Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 maybe his friends were being good wingmen by telling you jeff likes you only when he's not around. And when you wouldn't have sex with him he got confused. He probably wanted to have sex on vacation. But this is just a guess. The only way you can know is if he asks you out again and you both can get past the awkwardness.
Recommended Posts