caseinpoint Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I see a lot of "is he/she into me" or "does he/she like me" threads here. Is it safe to say that if you have to ask, it usually means no? 2
Author caseinpoint Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 I think so. It's the same as if a guy doesn't ask you out, he's not into you. Knowing this means that if we have to ask, then we can have a switch in our brains that go "next." It will probably save us a lot of time. I guess I'm telling this to myself, of all people.
mammasita Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Most of the time. Though there are quite a few people who are oblivious.
Author caseinpoint Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 Most of the time. Though there are quite a few people who are oblivious. Who are the oblivious ones? Those trying to figure out if people out there like them or those who like people but don't show obvious enough signs?
mammasita Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Who are the oblivious ones? Those trying to figure out if people out there like them or those who like people but don't show obvious enough signs? People who misinterpret signs, don't believe/doubt the obvious hints....... In other words, oblivious to the fact that this other person IS into them, but don't believe it. 1
iris219 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Yes. It's amazing how easy everything is when there's mutual interest. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I say the same thing whenever I see a thread on the subject...
Sabian Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Not if you're dealing with a fairly reserved person. I'd say this is more true for guys here asking if a girl like him. Girls expect you to make the move, whatever that move may be. So she could just be sitting back and hope you show more interest. However, it's not exclusive to just guys here. Plus if someone is inexperienced with dating or for some reason just unaware, they may miss telltale signs. 1
gullibleme Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 It does seem to be the Norm...if they don't seem interested they usually aren't, However I had a first date and this guy and he told me he liked me but we only texted a few times then he stopped, I'm not an initiator so I left it up to him...I thought he wasn't interested...not playing games but after my last relationship I am not really putting myself out there too much... I did send him a friendly message and he responded "That he really wanted to see me again" I said well then why did you stop communicating...he said I thought you were not interested in me...so now my delema..do I want to date someone who is on the shy side...there is much to be said about confident men out there...I like confidence..we had a second date and things were frisky, I turned down sex so we will see how it all goes now...
Author caseinpoint Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 It does seem to be the Norm...if they don't seem interested they usually aren't, However I had a first date and this guy and he told me he liked me but we only texted a few times then he stopped, I'm not an initiator so I left it up to him...I thought he wasn't interested...not playing games but after my last relationship I am not really putting myself out there too much... I did send him a friendly message and he responded "That he really wanted to see me again" I said well then why did you stop communicating...he said I thought you were not interested in me...so now my delema..do I want to date someone who is on the shy side...there is much to be said about confident men out there...I like confidence..we had a second date and things were frisky, I turned down sex so we will see how it all goes now... This sounds more like a case of miscommunication to me, no?
gullibleme Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I don't think so...we stopped texting and communicating...most likely thinking if the other was interested they would initiate...but maybe who knows...I'm guilty at times of that.
grkBoy Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I see a lot of "is he/she into me" or "does he/she like me" threads here. Is it safe to say that if you have to ask, it usually means no? No. There have been several times when the guy/girl asked here, and I said "YES". Usually they were so afraid of rejection they couldn't see that this person was into them. Most of the time it ends up "no" because the guy/girl sees little things and believes them to be big things.
jcrew11 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I agree that people are afraid of rejection, so it muddies the waters. I think people just aren't direct enough, so they are seeking answers. If you really want to know, then you have to be direct. I think people ask questions because they think indirect behavior or not talking to the other person, as a sign of interest. Bottom line, is that you have to talk to the person, to get a sense of whether there is romantic interest.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I agree that people are afraid of rejection, so it muddies the waters. I think people just aren't direct enough, so they are seeking answers. If you really want to know, then you have to be direct. I think people ask questions because they think indirect behavior or not talking to the other person, as a sign of interest. Bottom line, is that you have to talk to the person, to get a sense of whether there is romantic interest. Hi lited for truth. In the end we have to actually do a gut check and ask someone how they feel. People just don't want to ask unless there is a reasonable chance of getting a yes. For my part I have posted threads like that as a sort of sanity check. I mean, in my personal view if I spend any time I am not required to with someone it means I like them. So if someone spends extra time or attention on me. I assume they are also interested, at least in real friendship.
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I think usually if you can't be sure, the answer is NO. However, it depends on the filter you're looking through. Are you/they playing hard to get? Are you/they shy? Are you/they going through/recovering from a huge personal dilemma? Are you/they depressed/anxious? Are you/they poor communicators? Are you/they playing mind games rather than asking them questions? I know I hate to have to say, 'do you like me? Where do you see this going? blah blah blah' because I think those answers can spoil all the fun and apprehension of finding out, but that is the only way you can really 'know'. Even then someone can lie.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I know I hate to have to say, 'do you like me? Where do you see this going? blah blah blah' because I think those answers can spoil all the fun and apprehension of finding out, but that is the only way you can really 'know'. Even then someone can lie. I agree with this. I think people spend too much time wondering where a given relationship will go. Just sit back and enjoy the process of getting where you'll be with whoever you end up with.
mortensorchid Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 I think it does. I find sometimes when I type things out and tell an abridged or unabridged version in this forum it helps even the questioner see the light.
Leigh 87 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 My boyfriend made me feel like he was into me, yet did some classic things that guys do what they are NOT into girls, such as: - not wanting to label our relationship - not wanting to bring me to hang out with his friends (because they made fun of him for even HAVING a girlfriend, seeing as he never noce introduced a girl to his friends before) - he also actually SAID initially that he wanted to travel the world, and did not want a serious relationship. By all accounts, not wanting to introduce you to friends at first, and actually saying he did not want a serious relationship, points to a guy not being into you; seeing as with THE RIGHT GIRL he WOULD do just about anything to be with them! Well, he is with me two years later and is pretty attached, and he does not feel he has settled and did not stick with me out of desperation?
charlietheginger Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 I was workingout a guy stood next To me scratching his penis and coughing Im a guy....oh btw was he into me?
charlietheginger Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 My boyfriend made me feel like he was into me, yet did some classic things that guys do what they are NOT into girls, such as: - not wanting to label our relationship - not wanting to bring me to hang out with his friends (because they made fun of him for even HAVING a girlfriend, seeing as he never noce introduced a girl to his friends before) - he also actually SAID initially that he wanted to travel the world, and did not want a serious relationship. By all accounts, not wanting to introduce you to friends at first, and actually saying he did not want a serious relationship, points to a guy not being into you; seeing as with THE RIGHT GIRL he WOULD do just about anything to be with them! Well, he is with me two years later and is pretty attached, and he does not feel he has settled and did not stick with me out of desperation? news flash it been 2 yrs He still wont call it a relationship You still dont meet his friends And he still wants to travel the world
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