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Holding in farts on dates


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Posted

Wait, so... you never hold your farts in, ever, except when you're on a date? Not when you're in a small class, or in a car with friends, or at a formal meeting/interview with colleagues or bosses, or....? :laugh:

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Posted
Wait, so... you never hold your farts in, ever, except when you're on a date? Not when you're in a small class, or in a car with friends, or at a formal meeting/interview with colleagues or bosses, or....? :laugh:

 

I'm not in school anymore. When I'm with friends, I don't care and let it rip. They usually do it to me as well to get even. When it comes to a meeting/interview or job duties, where I work they have these absorbent chairs that seem to soak up a lot of the smell. I fart a little into the chair and as long as I don't sit up for at least 10 minutes, the smell goes away.

 

Unfortunately, restaurants chairs are not absorbent at all and the fart just seems to ricochet off the padded bottom. My car also has the absorbent cloth seats, but if it's leather I'm in trouble.

Posted
Are there any secrets to holding in gas when you're on a date? Sometimes, I have to fart really bad but I'm in the car with my date or at a table and I have to hold it in but its painful. I've done this little trick where I let a little out at a time and let it seep into the chair so the smell doesn't leak out.

 

There was this one time where the girl was sitting across from me, I tried this maneuver, and she made this weird face like she caught me. I played it off like it was some other table, but this is becoming a problem. When I'm alone I can fart when I want and my body is used to this, but when I have to hold it in around a girl I like it gets painful. Any ideas?

 

 

Dont go on a date with a full stomach

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
I'm not in school anymore. When I'm with friends, I don't care and let it rip. They usually do it to me as well to get even. When it comes to a meeting/interview or job duties, where I work they have these absorbent chairs that seem to soak up a lot of the smell. I fart a little into the chair and as long as I don't sit up for at least 10 minutes, the smell goes away.

 

Unfortunately, restaurants chairs are not absorbent at all and the fart just seems to ricochet off the padded bottom. My car also has the absorbent cloth seats, but if it's leather I'm in trouble.

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

I really don't know how to help you. Sorry.

Posted

Blame your dogs; my boyfriend did at first.

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Then again, they were silent.....

 

He found out later that I do the smelliest farts, and he now has no quarms pulling his pants down, holding me down, and farting on my face.

 

Lucky his farts don't smell!

Posted

A guy who farts in the presence of someone is pretty crude IMO. I sure as heck don't want to smell that, and would never do that in front of someone else either. It's poor manners and unpleasant. You should get yourself some probiotics. You take one probiotic pill per day, and it helps with your digestion and pretty much prevents the gas caused from hard to digest foods. It also helps your digestive system to stay healthy.

Posted

Are we still talking about this?? Seriously, take a huge enema before your dates, take charcoal pills, get a work-up done by a gastroenterolgist. Just DO something, ok?

Posted

For crying out loud, just find a woman who thinks farts are funny. The two of you can turn a date into a laff riot.

 

BTW make sure she thinks belching is funny, too.

Posted

I once dated a girl that on the first date burped the Alphabet.. true story...

Posted

I just wanted to add that in all my relationships, she is the first one to break the "fart barrier." It's like a contest of iron wills for a couple months, who will falter? who will broach this new "intimacy?" She's already -sh-t- in front of me, scratched her cooch hairs when she thinks I can't see her, this is the only remaining undiscovered frontier.

 

And then, when I don't think I can hold out another week, one morning she thinks I'm asleep, and a soft "braaaaaap" from the other side of the bed. I roll over and smile into her mortified face, the victor! All hail the man with the iron sphincter!

 

After that, it's "let the dutch ovenings begin."

Posted
Are there any secrets to holding in gas when you're on a date? Sometimes, I have to fart really bad but I'm in the car with my date or at a table and I have to hold it in but its painful. I've done this little trick where I let a little out at a time and let it seep into the chair so the smell doesn't leak out.

 

Lmao! It's the worst isn't it? I think it must be the ultimate test of manhood; the fartless date.

Posted

Best thread ever :laugh:

 

And btw girls hold it in too..

 

It's worse for us because we have to seem all lady like.

 

I hated sleeping over my ex's because I couldn't sleep on my stomach as gas would just slip out. So I had to be on guard that they didn't slip out and sleep on my back! :o

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