songbird70 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 So tired of this situation of going through phases it's ridiculous! I just want to be OVER this now. Here is the reason why I am having issues with moving on and advice/opinions are needed.... As suddenly as things ended (because I chose that), I am having a hard time wondering if I may have done more damage than I realize. When this man came to me he was having alot of personal issues, and by me pushing him away I have no idea if he is having a hard time or if he has moved on. He has no facebook, social networking sites, etc...or a cell phone. There is literally no way to get in touch with him unless I go through the family member I am friends with. According to her, he is MIA alot lately. They have seen him only once in the last 4 months and they were upset that he went so long without contact. I tried to get a message through her (which I don't trust got back to him), but she said she relayed the message that I have been wanting to talk to him and he just said we aren't communicating right now. I go through the anger phase and think the worst...he doesn't care, never did, etc...but something still doesn't sit well with me in my gut about all this. I have no way to contact him without seeming like a stalker but I'm really worried about him at times (he has admitted to having bouts of depression from his personal situation right now). I don't know if I should persue the avenues in which I CAN get in touch with him without looking like a stalker or letting things just go. I just wanted to talk to him once more after our last meeting to talk civilized and let him know I did and still care. I want to be his friend, not with him, but maybe in the future we can start over. I don't know if I should just wait and see if he comes back, but my head tells me he won't and my gut tells me he will. How should I handle this situation???
Author songbird70 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 LOL...wow...it seems the negative posts get the responses and the some what positive one don't! What is wrong with LS...lolololol.
theLWord Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 If you broke up then his personal issues are for him to deal with, don't worry about it. Focus on you.. It's not your fault he has personal issues and sounds like he doesn't want to talk to you since you tried. If you told him how you felt and you aren't back together, then what else is there to say? Friends sounds like a bad idea. If you reach out and he rejects you (which sounds like he will and he doesn't want to talk) it's just going to set you back. It depends on if you are ready to start healing or not. If you are, let it go and know that you tried your best. If not, contact him because with the back and forth you probably will anyway. Just be prepared to hurt all over again. 1
Author songbird70 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 FUNNY THING is you can't delete your profile on here...lol.
not-a-drive-by Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 It's difficult for me to think as a dumper and give advice. As a dumpee, I can tell you it hurts. Every moment of the day haunts you. You keep thinking of your ex, wishing that everything was fine again and that they will be back. You hope that the first sign of contact is them wanting to connect with you again to reconcile (see all the posts on LS?). When they don't contact you, you feel like you never mattered to them. Something of the past that could be let go so easily. So what can we do as dumpees? Try to move on as best as we can. That is what he is doing. He is trying to cope with the hurt and heartache. If he has depression, it probably isn't all sunshine and roses for him right now. Give him space. Has he contacted you at all? Giving breadcrumbs by showing that you care, but not enough to be back, I'm not sure how much good it will do to him. I remember my ex sending me a text after we freshly broke up. He read my blog, and I was at a really terrible state. He told me not to be sad and that I am still on his mind. It did feel good for a few minutes because he still cared. But after, I realised that he didn't care enough to be back. It hurts. Let it be....give it more time for him to heal.
Author songbird70 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 It's difficult for me to think as a dumper and give advice. As a dumpee, I can tell you it hurts. Every moment of the day haunts you. You keep thinking of your ex, wishing that everything was fine again and that they will be back. You hope that the first sign of contact is them wanting to connect with you again to reconcile (see all the posts on LS?). When they don't contact you, you feel like you never mattered to them. Something of the past that could be let go so easily. So what can we do as dumpees? Try to move on as best as we can. That is what he is doing. He is trying to cope with the hurt and heartache. If he has depression, it probably isn't all sunshine and roses for him right now. Give him space. Has he contacted you at all? Giving breadcrumbs by showing that you care, but not enough to be back, I'm not sure how much good it will do to him. I remember my ex sending me a text after we freshly broke up. He read my blog, and I was at a really terrible state. He told me not to be sad and that I am still on his mind. It did feel good for a few minutes because he still cared. But after, I realised that he didn't care enough to be back. It hurts. Let it be....give it more time for him to heal. I am soooo done with this I respect your response but I'm hurting too much. Just talked to the family member and I really need to move on. I've tried to delete my profile but LS has you stuck for ever...lol. thanks for your response but I'm done! I love him and care and nothing will change that
theLWord Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I am soooo done with this I respect your response but I'm hurting too much. Just talked to the family member and I really need to move on. I've tried to delete my profile but LS has you stuck for ever...lol. thanks for your response but I'm done! I love him and care and nothing will change that You will get through it, with ls or no ls. Keep your head up or try to! 1
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