ParadeRain Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 We knew each other for 6 years prior to our relationship, we talked on occasion during those years, there was a little lust in the air I guess.. but nothing ever happened. She had always been really fond of me, I was of her too to be honest. Fast forward to January 2012, I am now 20, she is 23... I hadn't spoken to her for like a year, We got talking by chance over a facebook message in January, exchanged phone numbers... from then on we just chatted casually, flirting, making jokes etc. She asked to meet, I thought "cool, finally gonna get to hit this girl", I planned on it being nothing more than a bootie call... well 1 turned into 10, before I knew it we were "seeing each other". She pursued me, I was really reserved, I had her in the palm of my hand to be honest, I acted casual about the whole thing, brushing it off when she said she had feelings for me etc.... but secretly I was really into her. 2/3 months months later, I was in love for the first time in my life, we were in a relationship she said she loved me way before I said it back to her, we we're planning a future together and all of the things that come with that... u know the dance... Then hings started to turn sour, we started to argue, minor things clustered and became a problem in our relationship, I couldn't put my finger on why this was happening, but we we're falling apart... Eventually, late June 2012, after a few small "not real" break ups, she ended it, she said she couldn't handle it anymore, she was convinced it was never going to change... I took it bad, deep,deep,dark heartbroken depression, a couple of weeks of holding onto contact, discussing friendship, writing letters, blablabla... I found Loveshack, and promised myself not to contact her, it's been 4 months without a single word... in that time I've been living day to day, certainly improving, but burnt... shadow of the lad I once was, literally "heart broken". Since I was 18 I've had plans to join the French Foreign Legion, now I'm physically fit enough to do it... I fly to France from the UK on November 14th. When she first left, I told her in a letter that I was going to do this in November, I don't know if she's wondering about it... whether she remembers.. or even thinks about me anymore? She has a new boyfriend now. So apart from that, NOBODY knows that I am going, my family and friends have no idea, I will tell my closest loved ones tomorrow that I am leaving... This is something I have to do, I want to do it, I know exactly what I am getting myself in to, I have a relative in the French Foreign Legion, I am going to be a legionnaire... I'm not sure if I should contact her, I don't feel like I want to, but I want her to know that I'm going to live my dream... maybe she'll find out sooner or later, but I'll never know if "she know's" about it or not... It's a dream of mine, and it's what I want to do with the next 5 years of my life, I am ready for it in every way possible... We broke up on very bad terms, some people would be shocked at the way I reacted... I would never apologize to her, because I'm broken emotionally through her, hurt more than I knew was even possible... But should I say goodbye? I want it to be heart felt, some how make her realize that I really did love her and she really did break my heart, If she's just gonna thing "cya..." then it's not worth saying goodbye, I guess nobody on earth but her knows the answer to that... Should I say goodbye? Thanks to loveshack for the help over the months I've been here, fantastic community.
Under The Radar Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 My advice would be to remain NC. You already sent her a letter explaining your decision to join the Legion. Furthermore, she has a boyfriend and the past 4 months there has been no contact. Things ended badly and you will have to chalk it up to a learning experience. I feel for you dude, being your first love and all. Good luck with the Legion; Joining up is certainly an impressive feat. 1
Author ParadeRain Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 (edited) My advice would be to remain NC. You already sent her a letter explaining your decision to join the Legion. Furthermore, she has a boyfriend and the past 4 months there has been no contact. Things ended badly and you will have to chalk it up to a learning experience. I feel for you dude, being your first love and all. Good luck with the Legion; Joining up is certainly an impressive feat. I told her in July that I would reach out before I go in November... I'm just wondering if she's expecting it, or maybe she has forgotten/not interested... Hard decision to make, Edited November 11, 2012 by ParadeRain
Under The Radar Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I told her in July that I would reach out before I go in November... I'm just wondering if she's expecting, or maybe she has forgotten/not interested... Hard decision to make, It's your decision to make and I wouldn't blame you either way. Regardless of what you told her in July, you are not obligated to reach out again or say goodbye. There is no way to know if she remembers the date you are to leave. My guess is she does remember, but things ended badly and she has a new boyfriend. She is moving on and realizes that NC is best for the both of you. You know how grueling the Legion is going to be. My thought is why risk revisiting fresh pain by breaking NC. I don't think it is in your best interest to potentially "open that can of worms" right before you embark on one of the hardest challenges of your life. If you feel like you NEED to say goodbye for closure before you leave then go for it. My advice still stands to remain NC and continue the healing process. 1
Author ParadeRain Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 Still on the fence with this one
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