the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 this makes me sound so bad probly.... but is it wrong that I want an engagement ring so bad??? I mean the reason i'm probly not gettin one yet is b/c we still have issues we need to work out *as some of you have probly read on this site * I mean we've been together for 3.5 yrs! I tease him about it all the time. I've actually learned to make jokes about it, b/c i use to be serious about it when i brought it up. Should i not say ANYTHING? even lay off the jokes?
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Posted August 4, 2004 huh??? NO i'm not engaged! did you read my post? heh
InLove13 Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 I actually was just reading about this on-line. I am going through a similar situation - my bf says we should get married, we go ring shopping then he tells me he's not ready and tells me to be patient. So anyway this is what I found - Let the guy have his space. Go away with your friends on the weekend, get really busy in your life, start doing more 'me' stuff. Maybe cancel a date or two, turn down doing something on a friday night because you already have plans. Make him have a lot of time to think - time to see that you have your own stuff going on, and that you are fine without him. It will make him realize what he has, and that he could lose you if he doesn't take the next step. What it also does is helps you figure out if he is really the one for you also. Good Luck - I hope this helps!
Pocky Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Yes I read your post. You're missing my point. You're not engaged and therefore you wouldn't be getting an engagement ring. Sounds like the only thing you care about is having a ring on your finger and not what it means to be engaged or to be married. Why try and rush into this type of relationship when you're still having to work out issues? Just doesn't make sense to me.
Artifact Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Yes, I have been following your posts I think the main thing to think about is this: Do you want to be married or do you want the ring? It's an honest question... the idea that everyone will be able to tell you are in a committed, life-long relationship (just by looking at your hand) is exciting. But the ring is only a ring. You have to make sure you want to be married to him forever. FOREVER. FOREVER! If you are sure, then you SHOULD lay off the jokes, and talk about marriage seriously with him. It won't happen until both of you are ready. Until then, if your finger gets cold, you can ask for a ring. But maybe a nice cheap one?
Anais Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by the_opposite_sex this makes me sound so bad probly.... but is it wrong that I want an engagement ring so bad??? I mean the reason i'm probly not gettin one yet is b/c we still have issues we need to work out *as some of you have probly read on this site * I mean we've been together for 3.5 yrs! I tease him about it all the time. I've actually learned to make jokes about it, b/c i use to be serious about it when i brought it up. Should i not say ANYTHING? even lay off the jokes? First make it clear what you want the ring or the engagement? These are two different things for me. You are speaking about marrying then you are engaged. Ring issue comes next.
Anais Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by Artifact Yes, I have been following your posts I think the main thing to think about is this: Do you want to be married or do you want the ring? LOL Didn't see your post before.
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Posted August 4, 2004 we both have decided that we wanna be w/ each other forever! we wanna marry one another, one of these days. He's told me that when he sees that i'm ready and him as well, when we're not arguing so much and sees that things are in line w/ us, then he'll pop the question. It's not about having some ring on my finger. It's just weird that i still call him my boyfriend after all these years. He's even said that it's weird for him too.
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Posted August 4, 2004 basically, he said he wants to know that i'm 100% happy w/ him...and when he sees that we're arguing and i'm finding something else wrong in him, he don't think i'm happy to be w/ him. Something like that...
InLove13 Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Pocky - What a great way of looking at an engagement and marriage. I have never looked at dating as the time to get through and sort issues before taking that step, and only if you get through then you should - thanks - that makes a lot of sense for me too!
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Posted August 4, 2004 yeah Pocky does have a good point *sorry for misjudging you up there btw* but yeah, who wants to get engaged or married when there's still issues to be worked out.
Artifact Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 When you are fixing current problems, don't forget to make sure your future plans match up too! Where are you going to live, will you have children, do you have similar interests, hobbies, do you want to travel at all? These questions seem somewhat surface oriented, but they may lead to deeper ones. I assume after 3 1/2 years though you have talked about some of this. Maybe the reality of a future together will focus your relationship.
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Posted August 4, 2004 we're opposites....he's outgoing, i'm more laid back. But yes, after 3 1/2 yrs, we've worked past that. We still have similar interests, we both want 2 children, both wanna live in a big/medium sized city b/c of more job opportunities. On major things like that, we usually come to an agreement on. It's always the little things that we have a few problems on.
swtbonita Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 how old are the both of you? do you have a career ?.. not just a job... vice versa are you financially stable? do you have the money to get married? have you thought about where you would live.. buy a house or rent an apartment.. ? has he told you he is ready to get married?.. has he told you he has the money for a ring and a wedding? To say that you want to spend your life together and to say you are ready to get married are two different things.. my bf wants to get married and he is financially stable, but i'm not married.. but it doesn't mean i don't want to.. it mean i'm not ready.. i'm not financially stable and until i am i don't want to get married.. i want to be able to put everything I can into my marriage and if i can't do that then its better to hold off for a while.. I love my bf and there is no rush.. we will be together.. and we want to start off on the right foot..
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 5, 2004 Author Posted August 5, 2004 ok ....im 20, he's 21. We're planning on moving into together in an apartment next summer. By that time, we'll be 21 and 22 *i turn 21 in December* When i get a ring on my finger, it doesn't mean i wanna get married the next day. We dont wanna marry til we ARE financially stable and out of college. Yes we have thought about and talked about where we eventually wanna settle down....somewhere in Indiana *here* in a bigger city where there's more job opportunities.
Recommended Posts