Author rebel Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 Could part of this be because you are having attachment situation because of what she gave you when You were at an awkward stage of your life? Not an attachment disorder per se, but it may be wrapped around the unique life hurdles you were dealing with when you met her? I think thats why it was so hard to get over her. I was sad, then this person came along that made me soooo happy and I lost it. I never had it with anyone but her since then and its scary to think I might not again, but its prrrrreety obvious that we dont work.
Author rebel Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 Wow, thanks for taking the time to come back and sharing what happened. It makes me a little sad because I've had a similar relationship over the years, we got close when I was in my late teens and he was in his early 20s, he's now in his 30s and me in my late 20s. He always wanted a relationship with me but my mind was always somewhere else, I was younger and didn't care about anything, we both moved to other countries, again and again, lost communication, caught up, lost it again, found each other one more time, fell in love, walked out of it heartbroken, lost touch, found each other again, repeat repeat, we currently don't talk. One can find so many psychological explanations for that, and get over it and it stops hurting and you move on, but something about that person, about how that person reappears and witnesses life and events, and disappears only to come back just when it makes perfect sense, and little things like this huge energy when eyes meet or being in each other's arms, even when you've been in plenty of arms before and won't suffer a shortage afterwards... it's hard to find an explanation. Sometimes I feel sad that just like death is certain for all of us, so is the day when we won't come back to each other alone, but with someone else's baby, a wife... it's hard to make up what's the role of that person in one's life, if I were to get all mystical I'd say it's a relationship that's been developing through a few past lives, and maybe you'll have to give it up on this one only to find it in the next one with hopefully more maturity and better conditioning. Does this explanation make you feel any better? sometimes it works for me. Just trust time, it's a cliche but you've lived through its magic, and what's meant to be will happen, if not you'll give it up in a natural way, someone will just walk into your life, turn it upside down and help you to not look back again. Yeah thats a good explanation lop! Not sure what it was. I kinda think maybe we were right for each other, on some level I knew it, but she threw it away with her sillyness. Not alot I can do except love myself, be by myself and be alone for a while, and love again if it comes my way.
Author rebel Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 Bit of an update for me Its been a few weeks of NC and I'm still quite down. I have moments when I think about her and I get REALLY upset thinking of her and her new partner, all the stuff that went down etc. Then there are moments when I just think about her.... Not bad, shes just always on my mind which I know sn't healthy long term and needs to stop. NC was broken the other day when she sent me an email just to 'keep me in the loop' about how awful our landlord was being to her since I moved out and how stressed she had been feeling. She also told me work wasn't good for her, that her mum found her ex partner dead during the week and they she blew out her knee during the week and was on ACC for it. I started feeling really sad and missing her again (even though she has done lots of bitchy things). This week has been a HORRIBLE week at work for me and I'm really emotional and having horrible thoughts again. Sorry, just wanted to vent. I hate love.... and life sometimes!
MLAZ1990 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 Damn now my 4 1/2 year issue doesn't seem so bad!
Author rebel Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 So its been a few months and I kept up with NC. I made no effort to get in contact with her and was doing ok, untill she messaged me about 2 months ago saying "Im watching the notebook and Im thinking of you". Of course, that sparked my interest and we started to chat. I still dont want to go overseas and she began to pressure me but it was nice to be back in contact again. However we had a few arguments and she toldme the other day that she didnt feel those same feelingsfor meanymore. It didnt really upset me thatmuch, because I kinda feel the same way. I wont say Im 'over' her, but since she was done so many crummy things, ithas made the love feeling diminish and I dont know why I was wasting so much time tbh. She text me this morning and we started another massive argument that got really personal. She said horrible things so I returned fire like I dont usually. Then she got really upset ad I felt bad. I know I shouldnt, but I did. Now, even though my feelings for her have dropped, im used to not being with her and Im angry at her, Im starting to think.. "What if I never find anyone? Im 29 and nobody else will want me etc". I know its stupid but im back to the 'comparing' her to other girls stage. Sorry, just wanted to ramble.
Author rebel Posted October 3, 2015 Author Posted October 3, 2015 Been a while since I posted on here and I feel like a vent, so yea . Been NC with the ex. It's very hard, but knowing that she's moved on and isn't interested means I'm not gunna hurt myself by making a fool out of myself. It's been 9 months since we split and I was starting to chat to another girl online who I actyalky started to like. I got excited because it was cool that I actually started to feel something for someone else which I never thought I would.today though, the girl I have been talking to says she just wants to be friends as age doesn't feel a spark. It's fine, but it made me go backwards a bit. I'm thinking about the ex and how she can easily move in and the one girl I might actually like isn't interested.
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