Ginaa Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 How many times should you re enter a relationship. At what point should you realise its not going to work? At the 2nd break, or more?
The dot Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 How many times should you re enter a relationship. At what point should you realise its not going to work? At the 2nd break, or more? I think the first break-up is usually the best indicator that it's not going to work. Now I'm sure there are one or two exceptions out there who made it work the 2nd or 3rd time around, but generally that isn't the case, and 99.9% of the time, the odds are better if you just move on and find someone else. The thing is this. An ex is an ex for a reason, and usually the person who initiated the break-up had a very good reason at the time. Granted, they may have made a mistake, but generally I believe that people who come back for a second or third time do it only because they are LAZY. They don't want to go to the effort and trouble of finding someone new, because that means having to meet new people and it could mean hitting the gym to get back into shape. So they just go back and plough old ground because it's familiar. What they don't realise is that the things that caused the break-up usually resurface before too much longer. The man with the wandering eye, the woman who nags too much, the man who spends too much time online looking at porn, the woman who spends too much money on shoes and handbags... Whatever it is, it usually resurfaces in the future. Sure, a person might promise to do the right thing, but generally speaking, that lasts about a week, and they're back to doing the same thing again (if they ever stopped). And if I'm the dumpee, it's even worse. Think about it, if someone dumps you, could you ever really trust them again? How do you know that you aren't just a place-filler until they find the person they're really looking for? The fact is, you don't know that. Heck, even the ex who reconciles with you probably won't know it until the other person actually comes along. Nope, you're better off to simply shake their hand, thank them for whatever they brought to your life, and move on to other things. The world is fascinating and full of possibilities, there's no reason to go back to something that clearly didn't work.
taya Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 (edited) How many times should you re enter a relationship. At what point should you realise its not going to work? At the 2nd break, or more? i know for me if i really like the person it takes me along time even tho i see its not workin and i always end up getting hurt 2 times now i had that happen to me i just dident know when to let go ..but life is a lession i wont make the mistake the 3 time .but you should let go when your mind emotion and body knows its not working, and some people will show you by their action that you need to let them go ..so if you see and feel that the first time dont wait for a 2nd time just let that person go.. Edited November 11, 2012 by taya
smokey bear Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Depends what the reason for the break up is? For better for worth Through sickness and in health You should love someones bad traits as well as their good, noone is perfect. Infedilty etc, no second chances 1
Author Ginaa Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 Depends what the reason for the break up is? For better for worth Through sickness and in health You should love someones bad traits as well as their good, noone is perfect. Infedilty etc, no second chances we mainly broke up because it just felt off to me, and I still had feelings for my ex. Now however Ive seen how much of a jerk my ex was, and I miss the other guy. We broke up twice over this, and I was just thinking If i entered the relationship again, is it worth trying or would the same emotions creep up again ?
Tmo2 Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 (edited) usually the person who initiated the break-up had a very good reason at the time... What they don't realise is that the things that caused the break-up usually resurface before too much longer... Sure, a person might promise to do the right thing, but generally speaking, that lasts about a week, and they're back to doing the same thing again. And if I'm the dumpee, it's even worse. Think about it, if someone dumps you, could you ever really trust them again? How do you know that you aren't just a place-filler until they find the person they're really looking for? The world is fascinating and full of possibilities, there's no reason to go back to something that clearly didn't work. What if the dumpee started taking drugs in secrecy wich made him lose his ambition, his dreams, made him stop talking to his friends and lost interest in everything. Slowly the dumper does not feel loved anymore, and is disgusted by their partner's ''new'' attitude (at first their was none of this crap)... With time she doubts her feelings and starts pulling back.. and ''oops'' mister ''x'' comes along and charms the **** out of her. She has for her sake (being a nice young girl) to leave the toxic relationship, even if the boyfriend was nice (actually being too needy and cligny)...... Now What if after this event" The boyfriend (who aint no dumbass) fell of his chair and f*cking stood up? He finally saw what he had to do with his life because he now had lost his most precious love. What if he starts to turn his life around, and becomes the boyfriend he portrayed himself to become when they first met? I believe this is an example that in wich it is ok to return to what didn't work because things have actually changed... But still.. The dumper should be the one to return home, and would need to be accepted by the dumpee :/ Wich is probably an exception Edited November 15, 2012 by Tmo2
jjc82 Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 I think there's a good possibility for people getting back together a second time. It all depends on what caused the breakup. Was it an ongoing bone of contention, or was it a heat of the moment argument, a culmination of stress and bad timing and momentary loss of control? If two people can come to a mutual agreement on what went wrong and put in place a plan to ensure it never happens again, why should they not give it a second go around? I wouldn't hold much hope for a time after that though.
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