truman4 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 So this is my story... I met her (my currently titled "ex") two years ago. We fought from day one about my ex before her because my ex had separation issues. None the less we both tried to make things work despite the fact our friends and family told us we arent gonna last because of the fights. I will admitt that i did talk to my ex in the beginning of the relationship when we fought. In the begining when the relationship was still fresh she would go out and i would talk to my ex and go out. It developed an insecurity melt down with us. I felt the guys she said she would hang out with just wanted to get in her pants because when i was with her they all stopped talking to her but once we broke up they would all flock to her. I wasnt born yesterday and i told her straight that my friends that are girls dont act like that so either put them in check or we cant date. she had problems with girls on my end too so we both decided to shut our facebooks down and not talk to the people that are attracted to us. As the months passed on by we still made the effort to try despite the trust issues. I figured why not, i like her, we arent perfect we show eachother new things and can laugh about everything and anything..Plus the sex was hot. But at the same time we had isolated ourselves from everyone and everything. I basically pushed away all my friends that made her think they were trying to introduce me to other girls. She cut all ties with friends i thought would try get her to see other guys. So now we have just eachother and our family NOTHING ELSE. Sounds perfect to some and there is nothing wrong with that when your serious about a relationship. When we made a year and a half her temper grew, she would hide her phone, put it on silent, nag about everything with me. She even was disrespecting me every chance she got. I was patient as i could possible be not to ask her to stop but when i did she would point the finger and say atleast i didnt talk to my ex. Everytime we fought she would bring her up! She would tell me how even if i did try to talk to my ex how she would shut me down. she would yell in my face about it, slap and punch me, jump on me with her knees. She turned into a nut case. I told her to either get over it im not talking to her anymore i know i messed up in the beginning or we had to end this. i had enough... i wasnt gonna hit her back but i wasnt gonna take the hits anymore from her so i left. For 4 months after that we been on and off. I would leave her when we fought because i didnt want to yell at her or get upset and say stupid things i dont mean, mostly because when we fought she wouldnt let me leave she would push me into a corner and yell. So i would try to get away best i could for fresh air and space to think. For 4 months i spent thinking.. For 4 months i realized the relationship was based on sex and insecurities. For 4 months i tended to spend more time at my own place than hers since she didnt want to drive to me. For 4 months i wanted to re discover myself.. Those 4 months made the decision i made a week ago. To leave her, ignore her and never look back. But without friends and a social life i once had my motivation has gone down the drain. I still think of her, i still look at my phone constantly hoping she would call. Im trying my best to be strong. The efforts i gave into that relationship was catastrophic as it made me realize how much of a man i can be to a woman in my life. It was humbling yet bitter sweet in the sense that i burned all that time and effort just to throw this all away. She was a great person when she wanted to be, she had amazing charisma could make me laugh and put me together better than anyone else i ever knew. Anyway.. I told her i dont want to hear from her. When she asked about being friends i told her i dont want that (even though i did) i put up this wall with her and i found out from a friend she went out and is hangin around the same guys that liked her before i dated her. I dont know whether i should try more or just forget that idea while im ahead. Love is dangerous im playing with fire but understand to hold this woman in my arms and know that i have someone is the best feeling in the world. I just hate being alone.. Its hard to describe all this for me.. I have no friends to turn to...not even family because of how unstable the relationship has been. I burnt all my bridges (good and bad) and no one wants to hear about my struggles in life. Thats normal i understand but some kind of opinion would be great or even advice. Even if i get NO opinions or advice i just want to say thanks for reading this far...
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I think you should stick to your original plan and here is why... 1.) relationship toxic from the beginning, not a good start. 2.) cut ties with everyone to make it work, no way to go through life. 3.) no trust throughout, do you think this will change now that she's hanging with those guys again? 4.) fighting constantly, do you really want that? You tried everything and the fighting still didn't go away. You, her, or both of you aren't ready for a committed-long term relationship. This is evident from the way your relationship started, evolved, ended. If even 1 person is jealous, not willing to make sacrifices, genuinely cares and tries to make it work, then the relationship is doomed. Rebuild your life, reconnect with old friends/family members, start bringing people back into your life (new and old). You'll see how understanding and accepting old friends really are, if not they weren't true friends to begin with.
Author truman4 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 Thank you so much navyairtraffic i really appreciate the input. I am in the process of rebuilding the life i once had. It gets difficult at times to find myself thinking of her but i keep to my own most of the time. The flash backs of memories keep turning up. I keep picturing her with another guy and it eats at me like a fast killing disease... i put in so much effort when the doubts out weighted the good and i did it because i loved her.. I just signed up for a gym membership, and starting next week i will see if i can go back to school to fill up my schedule. I need to keep busy as much as possible...i think ill stick to that.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 She WILL be with other men, get that in your head now! I believe in statistics and when my ex broke up with me I realized that 100% of my ex's slept with someone else. Think about that for a second, think about all of your ex's. At one point (1 day-6 months-1 year down the road) you will discover this and it will break you. Read the "get over them fast" link in my signature. My ex recently told me she's been with someone else (100% continues) but I wasn't devistated. My body has already been through those emotions, my thoughts of her with other men don't change or become more "real" now that I know. Stay progressive like you are (gym, school). These steps are essential to discovering "single you" again.
Tiera D Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 your ex was physically abusive to you and verbally abusive,i say get a new chick,plus i believe she has taken down the "wall" since she started becoming abusive,and probably cheated months prior the breakup,some chicks just use this trick to make the breakup on you.Sir,its time to start over TD
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