Cloaky Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I don't mean this to be dramatic, but my break-up is really killing me. I was married for a few months, things didn't work out. I had problems with her lying/cheating. She blames me, of course. She wants me back, but I know it would just all happen over again. Since we broke up, I've gotten sick. I have a kidney infection for months now, and I can't even bring myself to see a doctor. Friends and family are telling me I'll die if I don't do something. Honestly, I devoted my whole life to one person. That's just how I am. Without her, I can't see a reason to continue. I think I'd be fine if I dated again, but I don't have it in me to go through all that hurt. Plus nobody would want me in the broken condition I am in now. Should I just go to mental hospital, because even if I went to the doctors once, I doubt I'll follow up with it again.
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I don't want to sound mean but it's hard to care about somebody who doesn't care about themselves. Not that she was right to cheat but I kind of understand how being with you could be frustrating for her because you aren't you taking very good care of yourself so how could you possibly take care of her in any capacity?
Author Cloaky Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 I don't want to sound mean but it's hard to care about somebody who doesn't care about themselves. Not that she was right to cheat but I kind of understand how being with you could be frustrating for her because you aren't you taking very good care of yourself so how could you possibly take care of her in any capacity? I took care of myself until after the day we broke up. I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I already know I put myself in this position, part of me wants my life back -- I'm wanting advice on what to do.
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Stop acting like its the end of the world because its not. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself start being angry with her. How dare she disrespect you and disrespect your marriage? Who does she think she is? Besides a lying no good ho? How come you let someone so unworthy get the best of you? She DIDN'T. The best is yet to come! But you got to get off of your ass and make it happen. Starting with seeing a doctor and getting an antibiotic. 2
Author Cloaky Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 Stop acting like its the end of the world because its not. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself start being angry with her. How dare she disrespect you and disrespect your marriage? Who does she think she is? Besides a lying no good ho? How come you let someone so unworthy get the best of you? She DIDN'T. The best is yet to come! But you got to get off of your ass and make it happen. Starting with seeing a doctor and getting an antibiotic. Wow that was actually the most refreshingly inspiring advice I've been given in a long long time. Thank you.
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I'm to the point like that. Seriously, you need to take better care of yourself and your health. There is nothing good about her now. Everything you thought was really her was all just an illusion. She's no good. I mean, if you really want to forgive her and go down that road with her again its completely your choice. But right now YOU should be your number one priority. She isn't making you hers so you need to make you your own. Get medicine! 1
2sure Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 You can't just check yourself into a mental hospital because you are depressed. In an emergency they will take you for obversation if you are a danger to yourself. You are gong to have to see a doctor and a therapist.
Author Cloaky Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 You can't just check yourself into a mental hospital because you are depressed. In an emergency they will take you for obversation if you are a danger to yourself. You are gong to have to see a doctor and a therapist. So what are my options? I don't have anywhere go. My city doesn't even have a homeless shelter.
SoleMate Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 You definitely have to see a doctor for your kidney problem. A chronic infection may be aggravating your psychological issues. Also, see a doctor re your mental health issues and get professional advice on treatment. I'm not aware that you can just "check yourself in" to a mental hospital unless it's some private clinic that costs $35,000 per week. 1
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 So what are my options? I don't have anywhere go. My city doesn't even have a homeless shelter. Do you have a family doctor? Start there. I agree with SoleMate. Your infection could be causing your psychological distress.
winston55 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 GO TO E.R. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. You will end up there one way or the other. And if you wait much longer, it's going to be more painful and dangerous. Save yourself some agony and pain. Kidney infections are nothing to play around with over a period of time. Tell the E.R. Doc what you are going through and he may give you a script for the mental state you're in along with a referral to a host of services that are there for you. Some are actually free. An infection plays havoc on your body and yes it can the reason for your mental state of mind. After all, you're in pain, Hello. Once that is taken care of and you'll feel better, go to counseling. It's for you. Remember that term? YOU. There's still a lot of life out there for ya. I'm am surprised your family and friends aren't taking you for medical attention if this has been going on for months. 1
Tara247 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Yes. If you feel that you need to check yourself into a mental hospital, go do it. 1
pcplod Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Notwithstanding the practical details of your situation but if after a few months of marriage she was already cheating on you such that you gave her the heave-ho in order to put your world back together but are still depressed about it, it means that you are still a victim of her behaviour. Given her behaviour do you think it 'right' that she should still have that influence over you? Can you use that realisation to motivate yourself to see your doctor about your potential kidney infection and your state of mind. Also, try to take on the support that family and friends are offering you instead of pushing them away. In your state of despair your reaction although perverse is pretty typical in the circumstances. You really need a bit of time and a chance to psychologically step back from the rawness of the experience in order to see it in an alternative light. That puts you in a Catch-22 situation. Can you just find enough willpower to see that doctor, just this once and not worry yet whether you will go back again? Remember, just one small step at a time. I was lucky when I was depressed, my GP had been a sufferer himself and was very good. Just do it, don't think about it. 1
Author Cloaky Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 Thanks for everyones advice. If anyone is curious, I have an update on my situation. Posted it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/356755-std#post4385774
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