He still hasn't replied to my 'I don't think we can be friends' letter..

[dustpull]

Why do you guys think he still hasn't replied back? I've sent him a pretty long letter like two weeks ago accepting his request on 'taking things slow' and being friends, and he replied back in a long letter as well basically telling me he's not ready for a rltnship cause he's not over his ex and blablabla.

2 weeks later after that letter we have been texting on and off, about once every 2-3 days (I initiated one during Hurricane Sandy asking him if he was ok) then he said he missed me. He also drunk texted me a few days after that telling me he missed me. 2 sundays ago we skyped and that's when things went down hill, he told me he has been seeing someone new and expected me to be okay with it. I just blew up and he was feeling really guilty and kept apologizing, he was afraid of losing me because he considered me as a best friend and someone who he wants to keep in the long run. That sounds like he's just trying to string me along and make me his backup plan.

 

Well this monday i sent him a long text telling him how i dont think we should be friends cause its not fair for his new date, and i told him gluck in all that he does and i'll miss him. And i haven't heard from him until now, the longest we havent spoken to each other was 3 days but its been almost a week now with no reply. He wouldnt even tell me if he respects my decision or whatever, he just didnt say anything. I saw on his instagram he liked a picture that says 'f u feelings, u can suck my ****' and he hasnt posted anything on his twitter or facebook..

 

Why do u think he still hasnt replied back? Is that his way of respecting my decision right away or he just doesn't know what to say/doesn't wanna confirm the end of our friendship yet? He kept telling me how hes the luckiest person in the world to have met me, he even still said he lucky to have me in his life even after hes dating this new person. He said that he 'clicks' with this new person, he said he clicked with me too but it's different with his new date.

 

 

We're still friends on FB but havent spoken.

 

Thoughts please?

 

P.S: we were never official but close to. 4-5 months. I was always there for him when he went through the breakup wih his ex and he always texted me asked me to hang out skyped and had sex..

Sigh

[Own Worst Enemy]

I am so sorry for you.

 

I think you need to grieve for the loss of the relationship and cut him out at least until you have truly done so. There is no way you can be friends feeling like that (listen to garbage's "cup of coffee" - "so no of course we can't be friends, not while I still feel like this"!) so it's all about self preservation at the moment, I think...

[todreaminblue]

I think it would feel terrible for you.In my opinion you cant be friends with someone you have strong feelings for especially when they are with someone else.I have been thinking a lot about this lately and think think it would be soul crushing so no.....the fact you have had sex makes it hard as well.....Honestly if he doesn't reply it is better for you it will be easier to let go and go no contact..the only way you could remain friends is if it didnt matter to you anymore if those feelings you have now were no longer there...best wishes....deb

[KatZee]

He's not responding because he's got nothing to say. There's nothing left to say.

 

I think when he told you, "I can't be with you because I'm not over my ex" what he was really saying was, "I don't want to be in a relationship with YOU."

 

Because he turned around, met another girl and is now dating her. It sucks, but at least you know the truth and didn't get too sucked into this.

 

I would just delete him on FB and be done with it.

[NavyAirTraffic]

Why do you want a response?? If I tell someone to not contact me, I expect them not to contact me! I don't wait for a response. You don't receive emails/responses from people who are not your friends. I think subconsciously you sent that as a threat "hey, get your sh*t together or you might lose me for good". That is the only way you would expect a response.

[dustpull]

Well guys the thing is he did that to me BEFORE this happened too, and after that he warmed up towards me for a whole month, and basically said I'm a potential. He's dated some other people too but he always came back to me. I don't think he never wanted to pursue anything with me, I genuinely think he's just hurt alot (he's been broken up with 3-4 times) and he's afraid to start something and he's just not over his ex too. But what broke me was how he is NOW with this new person..

 

Timeline:

MidJune-MidJuly : Things were intense although since day 1, even on his profile, he said he's looking for friends and maybe more depends on how things go. And he's told me about his ex since day 1, allthewhile telling me how he really liked me and thought I was very attractive to him. When I vacationed, we had an affectionate texting, and he said how I'm very special to him and I've swept him off his feet, and how he hopes noone else can sweep me off mine. (That made me believe he wants to be exclusive).

 

Mid July-Early September: Had sex with him (oral) for the first time and stayed over at his place, he distanced himself afterwards telling me we should take things slow. During this time, his ex is BEGGING him back, even though he begged his ex back months ago. So I guess the tables have turned between them. During this time, he's been having out with other people + dated one person, but only lasted 1-2weeks (he was still talking to me while they're dating).

 

Mid September - Mid October : He officially broke things up with his ex, skyped with me every night for the first time, hung out 4 times in a row for the first time, also had the full blown sex for the first time. He warmed up towards me so much and told his friends I'm his potential.

 

Late October - Now : He met someone else on a dating site who he only asked to be friends with, but they ended up 'clicking', and now he's with the person. Told me he doesn't want to lose me and considered me his best friend and how he would go crazy if something ever happened to me + kept telling me how lucky he is to have met me.

 

........

 

This is one ****ed up emotional roller coaster of a relationship. We were never official, and we only had one 'date', which was a halloween date (which he thought was perfect.)

 

I'm just unbelievably hurt. I've been hurt twice this year, this february by my first love and now by him. Twice in a row in the same year. My soul is crushed right now.

 

I'm an attractive, smart young individual, but I feel like **** because of my exes.