confront or ignore?

[aMguilts]

Hey all.

 

My wife and i have been separated for 6 weeks.

 

2 weeks ago she called me and wanted to meet me. I met up with her and she broke down saying that she`s miserable without me and wants to give our marriage another go. So we are in the process of reconcilliating.

 

Anyway. During the time we were separated, she went out with some friends from work. Her and another friend ended up at these 2 guys house. She told me nothing happened and i believe her. She wasn`t there all night, because 1.30 in the morning she`s calling me from her house.

 

2 days ago though i went through her phone and heres a small convo that took place between my wife and her friend.

 

wife, funny night last night. lol

Her friend (HF) yeah it was lol.

wife That marks well fit!

HF yeah he is, think you should get in there and finish unfinished business!

Wife oh i`m too old for all that! Don`t think i could after being with ***** ( me)

 

Anyway, my question is. Do i confront her about this? She will know i`ve been through her phone. Or do i just forget about it?

 

We`ve spoken about it and she said that she knew him ages ago and her friend just wanted to go back and smoke some pot and nothing at all happened.

 

The `finish unfinished business` part is really playing on my mind though! .

 

So, confront her or forget it and carry on reconcilling???

 

Thanks for listening

 

aM

[Cloaky]

Wait a minute, why are you snooping through her phone? Has she given you a reason to distrust her? If so, perhaps I'm missing part of the story.

[uk3s]

forget qbout it. a - you shouldnt have been snooping. b - she clearly said she isn't going to pursue it and it is just women with small talk and there horny imaginations.

 

she did hunt you down and initiate the reconciliation process. just my opinion and view though. i dont think it's worth the stress and hurdle on the path to recovery

[aMguilts]

Wait a minute, why are you snooping through her phone? Has she given you a reason to distrust her? If so, perhaps I'm missing part of the story.

 

I thought it was my phone, we have exactly the same phones

And when I turned it on that was the convo that I saw

 

I feel we can't reconcile if she's lying to me about what

Happened that night

 

aM

[aMguilts]

forget qbout it. a - you shouldnt have been snooping. b - she clearly said she isn't going to pursue it and it is just women with small talk and there horny imaginations.

 

she did hunt you down and initiate the reconciliation process. just my opinion and view though. i dont think it's worth the stress and hurdle on the path to recovery

 

hello uk3s

 

I can understand and if it was me giving advice i`d say the same thing...forget about it and move on. She`s lied to me in the past, and i just want a clean break for both of us, but What i read has just been pl;aying on my mind all day.

I really hate liars, but when it comes from someone i love, the pain is twice as inflicting

 

Anyone else`s thoughts on this?

 

aM

[Liz2012]

you were not together so she didn't and doesn't owe you any fidelity from that time. also you could have had someone too. so it is what it is.

 

so whether she was with him or fifty guys - if you want to reconcile the you have to get past it. whether she was or wasn't doesn't really matter at this stage. the text doesn't sound like she did anything - but again, it's not really the point at this stage I don't think. either you want her and you thus want all of her unconditionally or you will push her away.

[aMguilts]

you were not together so she didn't and doesn't owe you any fidelity from that time. also you could have had someone too. so it is what it is.

 

so whether she was with him or fifty guys - if you want to reconcile the you have to get past it. whether she was or wasn't doesn't really matter at this stage. the text doesn't sound like she did anything - but again, it's not really the point at this stage I don't think. either you want her and you thus want all of her unconditionally or you will push her away.

 

hi Liz2012.

 

Your right , we wern`t together. We were still married thou.

I have no attention of pushing her away, but the more i think about it the more i am convinced that there was more went on that night then she is letting on.

 

I want to make one thing clear. I am more hurt that i believe she is lying to about what on that night, than what she has told me went on.

 

If she had told me the truth, i would of been hurt, of course, but i would have forgiven her.

The fact that i `feel` she lied about it ( finish`unfinished` business)( to me , that means `something` happened???)), hurts me more.

 

Because of it, i`ve been off with her today and she feels it.

 

I`ve tried not to be off with her, but i can`t help it:love:

 

aM

[aMguilts]

end story. i confronted her about it, not directly, but in a round about way.

and now she`s not speaking to me, not because i went through her phone, but because she lied to me and cant get out of it

 

I was always gonna call her up on it.

She LIED to me.

married or not, going out together or not.

 

She lied.

 

separated or not.

 

you either love someone or you dont.

you either want to be with that person or you dont.

But it`s not a 1 way street

 

i`m glad i mistakenly looked in her phone

i`m glad i confronted her about it

 

i`m sad that i was right.

 

but look at my last 3 sentences.

Either way you swap it all around, it`ll still be 2 glads V 1 sad

 

i am glad i confronted her. Least i know now:)

 

Not going to all the detail of what was said between whom. Suffice to say as soon as i mentioned about `finishing `unfinished`` business, she knew what i was saying.

 

aM

[aMguilts]

and i`m ok with it

 

aM