uk3s Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Here are the hard cold facts: 1) About 4 months ago, I messed around on my Ex (i know.. i know) 2) I told her a bout 3 weeks later due to cowardice but finally growing a pair 3) Truth hurts regardless; pleading guilty still means your guilty 4) After 2 months of back and forth, nothing certain, she finally said peace after talking to a professional and friends and gave the rebound guy who her friends have foisted on her a chance 5) 3 weeks just to just under a month later, she initiated a break with him saying "she still feels strongly for me" and with the added caveat that he might be moving away soon 6) How do I "play my cards" now? Clearrly I don't mind being her "option" because I was her first love prior to breaking her heart.... MY question is do I just give her complete space OR do I give little doses of attention to remind her she initiated a break with rebound for good reason (aka I do truly love her in return)??? thanks in advance
Liz2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 sounds like one long, honest chat is due? she may be telling you now she may move to test how you react. you have to present yourself as the best person she could ever want and prove you wouldn't do it again etc.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I would not cheat on or "mess around on" a woman I knew I wanted to be with forever. Reevaluate why you did that in the first place. Secondly think about what you've put her/would put her through. No matter what you do, she'll always have the thought "he cheated on me" in her head. Every time you go out, don't respond to a text/call right away, break plans/make other plans, she'll be wondering what you're actually doing, if you're cheating. Even if you get her back it'll end within a month due to her justified lack of trust in you. If you get the opportunity, tell her you are sorry and what you did was the biggest mistake ever! Don't ask for her to come back rather try to wash away the bad taste in her mouth a little. Maybe she'll come back one day but hopefully not anytime soon. In order for your relationship to work again in the future, it's my opinion that she'll have to let you go for a while to alleviate the resentment and mistrust she has towards you.
Author uk3s Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 sounds like one long, honest chat is due? she may be telling you now she may move to test how you react. you have to present yourself as the best person she could ever want and prove you wouldn't do it again etc. I know I have to eb the ebst person, but her friends have this guy chosen as the best option for her. and words are just words, other than saying i won't doit again and public declarations of her as "my love" my choice via social networking and all that jazz, it' seems like too much of an uphill slope. I'm optimistic but also a realist. I'm of the mentality where she has to chase em a bit as I've been pursuing her for four months
Author uk3s Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 I would not cheat on or "mess around on" a woman I knew I wanted to be with forever. Reevaluate why you did that in the first place. Secondly think about what you've put her/would put her through. No matter what you do, she'll always have the thought "he cheated on me" in her head. Every time you go out, don't respond to a text/call right away, break plans/make other plans, she'll be wondering what you're actually doing, if you're cheating. Even if you get her back it'll end within a month due to her justified lack of trust in you. If you get the opportunity, tell her you are sorry and what you did was the biggest mistake ever! Don't ask for her to come back rather try to wash away the bad taste in her mouth a little. Maybe she'll come back one day but hopefully not anytime soon. In order for your relationship to work again in the future, it's my opinion that she'll have to let you go for a while to alleviate the resentment and mistrust she has towards you. so, as I summarize, like many of my other friends have mentioned, it is far too soon and enough time hasn't passed for us to have a "fresh start", I take it? Like you said, regardless if she told the guy she wants a break, liek you mentioned, the thoguht that I hurt her is always going to be lingering in the back of her mind, loving me or not. So your best advice would be instead of smothering her, just let time play its course and not force anything. and if she doesn't give me the option to have a heart to heart, let her know how I feel? - but don't expect her to come running back
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