socrushed Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 i have a coworker and we used to get along great and have lots of laughs together. then she hit on me a lot and i asked her out and she brushed me off repeatedly. now she makes me feel sad and jealous every time i see her. I feel jealous so a part of me still wants her. But i also don't even want to talk to her at all anymore because she brings up so many negative emotions in me. she seems to be aware that i'm acting weird and sometimes calls me out on it but it doesn't really bother her too much. should i just accept that this is how things end up between two people sometimes? i feel bad that i can't even be her friend, but my emotions just won't let me.
MrCastle Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 If you don't want to be her friend, than don't be her friend. 1
Author socrushed Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 it's not that simple because i still have feelings for her.
MrCastle Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 it's not that simple because i still have feelings for her. Yeah but your feelings for her are not being reciprocated. You're at "i like you as more than a friend" and she's at "i could take you or leave you" You can't close that gap. The only way to get out of this is to cut contact. 1
bob the brave Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Been there, done that. MrCastle is right. While it is true that men and women can be 'just friends', it is less common. I have found that even platonic relationships often gravitate to those who each would consider acceptable for a potential romantic relationship even if they would never actually engage in one. You want this women as a lover, she apparently does not. So, it is perfectly fine and normal for you to not want to be friends. Yes, it is sad and unpleasent for the both of you, but that, sometimes, is life. My advice is to be friendlLY, but not friends. Move on and find someone who will love you back.
curlygirl40 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 You come first, you have to be able to protect yourself and your emotions. So if that means that you can't be friends with her because it hurts too much, then you can't be friends. It's easy for her to say she wants to be friends, because her feelings aren't involved. Take care of yourself first.
Author socrushed Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 but she keeps calling me out on it... making jokes and remarks to comment on how i'm being rude or ignoring her.. and it makes me feel bad. I wouldn't normally care if i didn't have feelings for her, but since i still like her a lot, it gives me a sense of hope taht she wants to reconnect with me when i know that's going to be really bad for me.
raea Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 From the little information you've given, it sounds like she doesn't want to be with you, but doesn't want to loose the attention you gave her either (people like to be liked and flirted with, usually.) It doesn't sound like friends is in your cards, and she doesn't want to be with you.. so even though you like her, it may be best to cut the ties and save your emotions.
charlietheginger Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 shes a attention whore Dont feed her act like she does not exist.... I had a women brush me off... I ignored her She came back months later demanding i talk to Her.. I just was like yea huh uhh ok uh huh Never returned her text or calls Till one night i got a 3am drunk text I texted back she told me it was such A turn on that i can control my emotions And not be a whiner like most guys Then she asked me to come over I wasnt gonna fall for it becuase its what She wanted was to control me... Told her if she wants to see me you Have to come to my place im in bed Ill leave the door unlocked No more texting.....20min later door opens got the friskey and she wanted To sleep over i made her leave... Imo the more you show your not clingy Not pushy not demanding the more a women Is attracted to.... Shame becuase i would have put her on a pedestal When we first met... But her game playing Made me just brush her off after sex
OompaLoompa Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 some girls keep people hanging just for an ego boost or enjoy seeing guys certain reactions. you said you still have feelings for her. but if she keeps on doing this, you will just be drowned in self pity. if you still think shes worth risking that feeling, then stay around and do whatever you want to win her over if not, better leave now when its not AS bad.
Author socrushed Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 sigh she came over to your place to have sex? this girl will never do that to me. she's NEVER texted me, its always me texting her. she couldn't care less about me either way no matter how i act towards her. i've been ignoring her for quite a long time now, she doesn't care. deep down i wish she cares. it's so pathetic. that's why my emotions are so conflicting and confusing.
MrCastle Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 sigh she came over to your place to have sex? this girl will never do that to me. she's NEVER texted me, its always me texting her. she couldn't care less about me either way no matter how i act towards her. i've been ignoring her for quite a long time now, she doesn't care. deep down i wish she cares. it's so pathetic. that's why my emotions are so conflicting and confusing. I'm in somewhat of a similar situation but the remedy for this, for most situations regarding matter of dating, is find more people. You won't be hung up on one particular girl if you have a few different ones to turn to.
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