songbird70 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I was just wondering if anyone here regrets even meeting or hooking up with their ex? The saying is you meet people for a reason, a season, or a life time, and you learn from your past experiences. I have seen that to be true, only sometimes it makes no sense. This experience that brought me here on LS has no learning lessons or anything positive I can take from it. It didn't make me grow, it knocked me back 20 steps from where I had already grown. I see it now as one of my biggest regrets in life. I regret the decision to meet this person the day I decided to take his cousin's invite to join them in order to meet this man. Just wondered if anyone else feels regrets or a learning process from their recent heartbreak.
oracle Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Regrets are poison. As far as I know you can't undo the past. Wasting time on the should have - could have - would have game is pointless. The smart people LEARN and move forward, and hopefull not do it again
blue_jay_bird Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Yeah i regret meeting my ex. I regret contacting HIM for a polite goodbye. Don't give them the time of day. It doesn't help, just make's you depressed, sadder, and left with MORE questions.
KatZee Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 I used to have regrets. I used to regret even meeting him. I used to regret staying with him longer than I should have. I used to regret not just dumping him first. Then I realized, I honestly wouldn't be where I am right now, if it WASN'T for him and everything he put me through. I'm fun again. I'm happy. I'm having a blast in my life. I realize there is nothing wrong with me or how I act I now realize what I do want, need and deserve from a guy. 2
youngnlove89 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Regret means you still haven't learned your lesson. I still regret a lot of things in my past relationship, I still haven't learned my lesson. But I'm slowly starting to let go of regret. It just takes time. 1
LostOne1 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Regret is a good thing.. it leads to lessons to be learned. I've been regretting a lot lately. But the thing is I've looking at it as I can't change it, but I can learn from what went wrong and could've been done better on my part. I see regret as mistakes we made, but we can't change them. So we force our selves to notice these mistakes not to make them again. In fact my relationship would be saved right now, if I didn't make all the mistakes i made earlier... The worst part is i had GOOD advice from people around me and I never followed it. This is before I found this website, and by not taking their info to heart and doing the opposite I made it worse for myself and our relationship. But I'm happy too, because I feel like I've grown up in some ways. Like I learned something I needed for my future and thought be it the hard way... at least I can notice the changes within me and know I have improved after this tragic event in my life.
Author songbird70 Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 Regret is a good thing.. it leads to lessons to be learned. I've been regretting a lot lately. But the thing is I've looking at it as I can't change it, but I can learn from what went wrong and could've been done better on my part. I see regret as mistakes we made, but we can't change them. So we force our selves to notice these mistakes not to make them again. In fact my relationship would be saved right now, if I didn't make all the mistakes i made earlier... The worst part is i had GOOD advice from people around me and I never followed it. This is before I found this website, and by not taking their info to heart and doing the opposite I made it worse for myself and our relationship. But I'm happy too, because I feel like I've grown up in some ways. Like I learned something I needed for my future and thought be it the hard way... at least I can notice the changes within me and know I have improved after this tragic event in my life. I guess my problem is I never got a chance to make mistakes in my situation. I had started to overcome certain issues left from previous relationships gone wrong with him. I keep replaying everything in my head to realize what happened and the only 'mistake' I made was asking him to leave. I can't say I would not do that again in future relationships because it was a certain reaction to hurt and shock and not premeditated. No one knows how they will react in a certain situation when angry that's why people should always talk a situation through once things calm down. In my case, I can't think of anything that I can take from that relationship moving forward.
suladas Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 No regrets because I don't think you should live with regrets, instead it should be experience and growing. I learned a lot in the relationship and will never forget it, or her even though it wasn't perfect. In some ways i'm a bit mad at myself for ruining a good friendship by taking it beyond that, and don't know if it will ever be restored, but it is what it is and i'm not going to worry about it. 1
ParadeRain Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I regret falling for it, but I guess it had to happen for the first time sometime... so I guess it's better sooner rather than later. What I learned is to never let my guard down for another girl again. 1
dreamstate83 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I regret making my heart the driver and putting my brain in the trunk...
Author songbird70 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 I regret falling for it, but I guess it had to happen for the first time sometime... so I guess it's better sooner rather than later. What I learned is to never let my guard down for another girl again. I have to agree with you on the fact that learning never to let your guard down is EXACTLY the only thing I learned in my situation which is negative. I spent years keeping that guard up and the moment I 'let it down' the arrow went straight through! I know that is not a positive lesson to learn so that can't be what I need to take from this experience, but unfortunately it is.
Author songbird70 Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 I regret making my heart the driver and putting my brain in the trunk... Same here....LOL
Berna Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I do. He was a liar and a cheater. I only learned not to trust people.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Kind of. I was pretty happy just being single and doing my thing without a care in the world and I haven't been able to quite get back to that point. It's just not the same right now. I initially regretted the events that caused our break, but I don't anymore. It was a learning experience and perhaps deep down there was a bigger reason things went down the way they did. But yeah, I'd like to get back to the ignorant bliss I was living in before.
LostOne1 Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 I have to agree with you on the fact that learning never to let your guard down is EXACTLY the only thing I learned in my situation which is negative. I spent years keeping that guard up and the moment I 'let it down' the arrow went straight through! I know that is not a positive lesson to learn so that can't be what I need to take from this experience, but unfortunately it is. I agree with this as wel... I let my guard down and stopped thinking. And well things hit me outta no where.
Phoebe Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Generally I try and look at failed relationships are something to learn from, for example if my current boyfriend and I split up I will never ever even contemplate dating someone who has an alcohol problem no matter how nice or sweet them seem. It's just not worth it. There is a part of me though that regrets meeting my ex-husband, he was in the US Air Force and after we married I moved with him to America in 2005. 6 months after the move he cheated on me, we tried to work it out for another year after that, then when we seperated I stayed in America to make sure the divorce went through ok. I found out the week before the divorce became official that my mum was terminally ill. The day after my divorce came through I went home and spent two weeks with her before she passed. I regret all the time together that we could have had if I had stayed in England.
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