Themrandres Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 K so me and my ex broke up sept 16th went no contact up until I ran into her on Monday at her school while I was picking up a friend. So she started texting me that night and we filled each other in on our lives and spoke for hours as if we were dating all over again. But at the end of the convo she became super cold and told me we shouldn't talk anymore....but then she insisted I text her once in awhile if I wanted to or just check in. But I got the idea she didn't want anything to do with me. But the following days she's texted me every night and she's been the one to initiate contact. I try to keep it short and keep the last word and show my social life is more important than our texting. Now she's texting my best friend about me and how much she loved talking to me and how she feels bad for ignoring me all this time. And on her twitter she keeps tweeting "I miss you" " I wish we could go back" "I never thought I'd miss u this much". And she insists we be friends now outta knowhere:P Although she hasn't said I want him back, I get the idea I have a chance. So what should I do now? Should I ask to talk or should I wait awhile and play hard to get?
uk3s Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 K so me and my ex broke up sept 16th went no contact up until I ran into her on Monday at her school while I was picking up a friend. So she started texting me that night and we filled each other in on our lives and spoke for hours as if we were dating all over again. But at the end of the convo she became super cold and told me we shouldn't talk anymore....but then she insisted I text her once in awhile if I wanted to or just check in. But I got the idea she didn't want anything to do with me. But the following days she's texted me every night and she's been the one to initiate contact. I try to keep it short and keep the last word and show my social life is more important than our texting. Now she's texting my best friend about me and how much she loved talking to me and how she feels bad for ignoring me all this time. And on her twitter she keeps tweeting "I miss you" " I wish we could go back" "I never thought I'd miss u this much". And she insists we be friends now outta knowhere:P Although she hasn't said I want him back, I get the idea I have a chance. So what should I do now? Should I ask to talk or should I wait awhile and play hard to get? ahah if this were earlier i'd say continue the "hard to get" game - but you clearly have arleady gotten her bro, Just ask her for a casual coffee or something. Somehing light and quick and when you do meet, show a time constraint, so it doesn't turn into a long drawn out affair. But she is responding to your confidence and the fact that you have/are moving on with your life and this peaks her intrigue. So if you want her back, do a short little lunch/coffee meet and continue to be the playful, lighthearted but confident guy she misses talking to. Women smell desperation and it turns them off like none other - trust me on that one. you got this homes. all the best
Author Themrandres Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 But dude how would I ask to hang out with her and still seem confident and indeferent? Like I wanna show I wanna hang out but not seem desperate.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 You only have 2 choices here, be her friend or not, it's that simple. She doesn't seem like she's making an effort for anything else. As soon as you enter into the "friend zone" you might as well forget getting her back. Relationships aren't meant to go in reverse. Having said that, tell her you aren't looking to/can't be friends right now. Otherwise she'll have you hold her purse while she's banging someone else.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 Let me clarify 1 thing. You can be friends but both of you can't care. Otherwise it will be a friendship filled with false hope and lies. Let's take you for an example. You'll have hope to get her back one day, you might pass up on or lie about other potential partners to avoid upsetting her. Then one day you might get back together and will have to continue lying, or you'll remain friends and hear that she has a new boyfriend and be devastated. Friends are just that, friends. Ask yourself can you have conversations with her about men she's seeing and not have an emotional attachment? If the answer is no, then you cannot be friends.
Author Themrandres Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 Then how do I get out of the friends zone and not seem like an ass about it? Could I just say sorry "I don't think we should be friends" ?
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 11, 2012 Posted November 11, 2012 Then how do I get out of the friends zone and not seem like an ass about it? Could I just say sorry "I don't think we should be friends" ? She'll probably get mad any way you say it. Does it really matter?? You want to be with her but not be friends, she wants to be friends but not be with you. My ex wanted to be friends, I told her as Gibson always says "I don't want to be friends, I didn't enter into this with the hopes of being friends, I don't want to know about your day and I don't want to tell you about mine" (I said this verbatim). She's gone, lost, being her friend only let's her have her cake and eat it too. You can't be her friend (hear about her and other men) and you can't have her back (at least right now). Doesn't matter how you tell her.
larklane Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I agree with the above post, being friends with an ex is so unrealistic IMO especially if the other person ended it. One guy I used to date got mad at me for not wanting to be friends with him and I told him it wouldn't work because I had feelings for him. It seems so selfish for the dumper to make this request!
mammasita Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 I agree with NAT also and want to add that she sounds confused........trying to make sure you're available as a back up.
Author Themrandres Posted November 12, 2012 Author Posted November 12, 2012 Yeah I agree with what you guys are saying. But on the other hand I should have clarified, I wouldn't really call what we are "friends" as much as we are just "talking" and being polite. I have no intention of hanging out with her and I'm never the one to text her, she's the one who texts me and when we do text I take forever to respond and never act very interested and give the impression im very busy with my social life. And it's kinda working in the sense that she wants more of me. Like until she tells me to my face she wants to try again I'm giving very little attention. I just want to know what elese I can do to further my situation:s
Author Themrandres Posted November 13, 2012 Author Posted November 13, 2012 like what elese can i do? ive seen the more i ignore her the more she wants my attention, is there anyway i can ignore her but specifically attract her?
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 You can't do anything to attract someone who left you... It's almost a threat "If you don't want to be with me then I don't want to be friends" but it's also the truth right? You should be firm, maybe she'll realize what she's losing in you maybe she won't. She'll only come back when/if SHE chooses. Or just be her friend, then just re-read what I wrote above (false hope friends).
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