Cassandra92 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 So I started a new job a couple of weeks ago, and the people there have been really nice. There's a guy who came up and started talking to me one day, he was friendly but I didn't think too much of it afterwards, and it was only a brief conversation anyway. A few days afterwards a bunch of us went to watch some fireworks after work, and I walked there with him and a couple of other people. He walked beside me and we talked, he asked me questions like where I was from and how I found out about the job etc, pretty standard stuff but I thought it was nice he seemed interested. After that we would say hi/bye to each other at work, and sometimes I thought I caught him looking at me. The other night we talked quite a bit during one of our breaks, I even shared my snack with him (haha) and we talked about what books we enjoyed reading and he said we should start a book club (this was probably just said in fun, but I thought it was cute anyway.) After that I was thinking about him quite a bit. I haven't been in a relationship in nearly two years and I haven't met anybody promising in a long time, plus I have a bit of anxiety/a few confidence issues, but he seems genuinely nice! I found his Facebook through a work page last night, and deliberated about adding him (would it seem creepy?) but I did it anyway. I thought that if he was potentially interested in me, he might send me a message or something. He accepted my request a few hours later but I haven't heard anything from him. I don't know, I could be being silly and impatient. I could be totally misreading the signs, it's been so long I wouldn't be surprised if I was. I don't want to send anything to him because I'm terrified of seeming too forward, and I'm pretty mortified to see him at work tomorrow. Should I even address the Facebook thing if I see him? Needless to say I am overthinking this.
Author Cassandra92 Posted November 10, 2012 Author Posted November 10, 2012 I dont think you've done anything too forward. But heres some questions you probably need to have an answer for before you proceed. Are you prepared for the possibility of life at work if you date him and it doesnt work out? Are you absolutely sure you want to date him...or are you just enjoying the attention? What was your intent for adding him to facebook? Just to gauge his interest...seeing if he wrote back? Are you planning on initiating a date....or are you just trying to signal him to ask you out? Those are very good questions. I'm not totally sure if I want to date him, but I know my own limitations and I don't think I would ever be able to ask him out. So yeah, I did add him to try and gauge his interest because it was the most passive thing I could think of. As for the work thing, that would be awkward (if anything even came of it). I would have to be absolutely sure I really liked him. But if nothing happens now, I'll cool off about it eventually. At least I've (sort of) made a friend. (The attention thing is nice too, but I don't thrive off it and it's not what I go actively in search of, probably because I'm a bit nervous as a person.)
jcrew11 Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 What job do you have? Some corporate offices frown on dating because of sexual harrassment issues? There is no need to rush into anything beyond a platonic friendship. If he becomes a good friend, then you can figure out if there is something more. But focus on building a platonic friendship at first, before asking him out for an "official date." Just find friendly things to do like happy hours and co-ed sports.
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